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A female narrator says, “WELCOME TO
TVO KIDS POWER HOUR OF LEARNING.”
Text reads, “Today’s junior lesson, Revising
your first draft”
Kristy begins,
“HI. MY NAME IS
KRISTY,
AND I'M REALLY EXCITED
TO BE HERE WITH YOU TODAY
ON
TVOKIDS POWER HOUR
OF LEARNING
TO TEACH YOU ALL ABOUT HOW
WE REVISE A FIRST DRAFT.
A FIRST DRAFT IS OUR
BEGINNING STEP IN WRITING.
WE BRAINSTORM, AND THEN WE
START TO PUT OUR IDEAS DOWN.
BUT ONCE WE
HAVE OUR IDEAS DOWN,
WE DON'T
STOP THERE.
WE WANT TO GO BACK AND
MAKE SURE IT MAKES SENSE
AND THAT IT'S
INTERESTING
AND IT'S GOING TO CATCH OUR
READERS' ATTENTION.
FOR TODAY'S
ACTIVITY,
YOU SHOULD HAVE A
PENCIL TO WRITE WITH,
MAYBE SOME COLOURS,
AND YOU NEED A NOTEBOOK
OR A PIECE OF PAPER TO
PUT YOUR IDEAS DOWN.
SO, GO GRAB
EVERYTHING YOU NEED,
AND I'LL SEE YOU BACK IN
JUST A FEW MINUTES.”
Kristy’s whiteboard reads,
“Steps of the writing process.
1. Prewrite.
2. Drafting.
3. Revising.
4. Editing.
5. Publishing”
Kristy adds,
“TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO BE
FOCUSING ON REVISION,
AND I HAVE MY WRITING
PROCESS CHART HERE
TO CHECK IN WHAT ALL THE STEPS
IN THE WRITING PROCESS ARE.
REVISION IS ONE OF THE FIVE
STEPS IN THE WRITING PROCESS.
THE FIRST STEP IS
OUR PREWRITING STEP,
AND THAT'S WHERE WE
GATHER OUR IDEAS.
SO, THAT CAN BE COMPLETING
A GRAPHIC ORGANIZER,
BRAINSTORMING,
TALKING TO A FRIEND.
THERE'S LOTS OF WAYS WE
CAN THINK OF IDEAS
OF WHAT WE'RE GOING
TO WRITE ABOUT.
OUR NEXT STEP IS
DRAFTING.
THAT'S WHERE
WE TAKE THOSE IDEAS
AND WE PUT THEM INTO SENTENCES
OR PARAGRAPHS OR A POEM,
DEPENDING ON WHAT
WE'RE WRITING.
OUR NEXT STEP IS
REVISING,
AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE
GOING TO FOCUS ON TODAY.
I HAVE A LITTLE
PICTURE OF A BAND-AID,
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE
WE'RE FIXING UP
ANY PARTS OF OUR STORY THAT
AREN'T QUITE RIGHT
OR ARE HURT OR SOMETHING
THAT'S NOT WORKING.
SOMETIMES, PEOPLE MIX UP
REVISING AND EDITING.
EDITING IS WHEN WE
FIX SPELLING
AND PUNCTUATION AND
THINGS LIKE THAT.
REVISING IS WHEN WE
ACTUALLY GO IN
AND CHANGE PARTS
OF OUR STORY.
AND THEN FINALLY,
WE'VE GOT THE
PUBLISHING STEP,
WHEN WE TAKE SOMETHING AND WE
TURN IT INTO OUR VERY BEST WORK
IF IT'S SOMETHING WE WANT
TO SAVE OR MAKE EVEN BETTER.”
Kristy continues,
“WITH REVISING,
THAT'S WHEN WE'RE GOING TO
GO OVER OUR PIECE OF WRITING
AND WE'RE GOING TO ASK
OURSELVES QUESTIONS,
LIKE, "DOES IT
MAKE SENSE?"
SO, WE MIGHT READ IT
OUT LOUD TO OURSELVES.
WE'RE GOING
TO ASK OURSELVES,
"COULD I MAKE THIS MORE
INTERESTING?"
SO, WE MIGHT LOOK AT
THE WORDS WE'VE CHOSEN
AND START TO PICK
BETTER WORDS.
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE
SURE IT'S ALL ON TOPIC.
SO, IF I'M WRITING
A STORY ABOUT MY DOG,
HAVE I INCLUDED DETAILS
THAT AREN'T ABOUT MY DOG?
THOSE ARE THE KIND OF THINGS
THAT MAKE OUR STORY FLOW
AND MAKE IT INTERESTING
FOR OUR READER
AND GRAB THEIR
ATTENTION.
SO, REVISION IS WHEN WE ACTUALLY
CHANGE THE SHAPE OF OUR STORY.
EDITING IS JUST
WHEN WE GO IN
AND WE FIX THE LITTLE
BITS AND PIECES,
LIKE OUR SPELLING,
OUR PUNCTUATION,
BUT REVISION, WE ACTUALLY
CHANGE OUR STORY.”
Kristy adds,
“SOMETIMES,
I'VE HAD ACTIVITIES
WHERE I'VE ACTUALLY
HAD MY STUDENTS
LOOK AT HOW THEY MIGHT CHANGE
THE ORDER OF THEIR STORY
BY CUTTING THEIR STORY
INTO PIECES
AND CHANGING
AROUND THE ORDER
TO SEE IF IT'S
GOING TO MAKE SENSE
AND IF IT'S GOING
TO FLOW BETTER.
REVISION IS A SUPER-IMPORTANT
STEP OF WRITING.
THIS IS WHAT TURNS
YOUR DRAFT--
JUST YOU PUTTING
YOUR IDEAS ON PAPER--
INTO AN ACTUAL PIECE OF WRITING
THAT MAKES SENSE AND FLOWS.
WE'VE GOT A REALLY SILLY VIDEO
WE'RE GOING TO WATCH TODAY.
IT'S ALL ABOUT
TUMBLEWEED,
AND HE IS GOING TO HAND
IN A STORY TO HIS EDITOR.
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS
IF HE DOES
NOT REVISE HIS WORK
AND WHAT THE PROBLEM WITH
NOT REVISING IS.
SO, I WANT YOU TO
THINK ABOUT,
WHAT DO YOU THINK SOME OF
THE PROBLEMS WILL BE
IF YOU JUST WRITE A DRAFT
AND, WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT,
YOU GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY
ELSE TO READ OVER.
WHAT MIGHT GO WRONG?
SO, MAKE A FEW
PREDICTIONS.
WE'RE GOING TO WATCH
AN EPISODE OF
TUMBLETOWN,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO COME
BACK AND SHARE OUR IDEAS
AND TRY A LITTLE BIT
OF REVISION OURSELVES.
SO, ENJOY
THIS EPISODE,
AND I'LL SEE YOU BACK IN
JUST A FEW MINUTES.”
A male announcer says, “Tumbleweed
presents.”
A hamster reads a book.
The announcer continues,
“Tumbletown reads”.
Lights glow inside the Tumbletown
Gazette building.
A book opens to a page that reads,
“Today’s Tale, Word Up!”
A male voice says,
“AH, MY SHOULDERS.”
Tumbleweed the hamster says,
“OKAY, GUYS. KEEP IT DOWN.
I CAN'T WORK
WITH EVERYBODY TALKING!”
The first male replies,
“UH, OKAY.”
Tumbleweed continues,
“UH, ALRIGHT.
WHERE WAS I? UM...
"WHICH IS WHY THIS
REPORTER ALWAYS SAYS..."
Text on a computer screen reads,
“A dirt bike does not make the best
Mother’s Day present.”
Tumbleweed adds,
“AND I'M DONE,
AND I'VE
FINISHED EARLY!
AH. WELL, I JUST, UH, SUBMIT
THIS STORY TO THE EDITOR.”
(Beeping and Printing noises)
Tumbleweed says,
“LET'S SEE HERE.
I PRINT IT OUT AND PUT
IT IN THE EDITOR'S INBOX,
AND I HAVE THE REST
OF THE DAY OFF.”
(Laughing)
Tumbleweed drives past
mountains.
He sings,
“BAH BAH BAH
BAH BAH BAH
BAH BAH,
BAH BAH BAH.”
Tumbleweed sits on a beach.
He says,
“OH, NOTHING COULD
INTERRUPT THIS PERFECT--”
(Phone ringing)
Tumbleweed’s phone reads,
Incoming call, Editor”
Tumbleweed says, “OH.”
(Beeping)
Tumbleweed answers,
“HELLO?”
The Editor asks,
“TUMBLEWEED, WHERE ARE YOU?”
(Hesitantly)
Tumbleweed replies,
“I'M AT MY DESK, WORKING.”
The Editor says,
“I NEED YOU BACK HERE!
YOU MUST REVISE YOUR STORY
BEFORE WE CAN PRINT IT!”
Tumbleweed responds,
“UM, OKAY.
I'LL COME BACK TO
THE OFFICE.”
Tumbleweed drives past
the mountains.
(Sadly)
He sings,
“BAH BAH BAH
BAH BAH BAH BAH”
Tumbleweed looks at a computer
screen in the Tumbletown
Gazette office.
He says,
“OH, LOOK AT THIS.
THE BOSS WAS RIGHT!
THIS IS A MESS!
I SAID I WAS GOING
TO THE STORE,
BUT NOT THAT
"TOO." THIS "TO."
AND I WASN'T
HOPPING TO FIND.
I WAS HOPING
TO FIND, AND--
OH, THAT'S
THE WRONG "WHICH."
IT'S SPELLED
LIKE THIS.”
Tumbleweed drives past the
mountain again.
He sings, “I GO BACK
BACK TO THE BEACH
I'M GOING
TO THE BEACH”
Tumbleweed sits under an
umbrella on the beach.
He says,
“OKAY. HERE I AM AT THE
BEACH. WHERE WAS I?
OH, YES. NOTHING COULD--”
(Phone ringing)
Tumbleweed says, “OH.”
(Beeping)
The Editor asks,
“TUMBLEWEED, WHY AREN'T YOU
AT YOUR DESK?”
Tumbleweed replies,
“I WAS-- I'M AT A BEACH?”
The Editor adds,
“OH! TUMBLEWEED, I ASKED
YOU TO REVISE YOUR STORY.
NOW, GET BACK HERE!”
Tumbleweed says,
“BUT I JUST--”
The Editor replies,
“NO.”
Tumbleweed adds,
“BUT I--”
The Editor says,
“NO.”
The Editor hangs up.
Tumbleweed responds,
“HELLO?
(Beeping)
(Tumbleweed groaning)
A white hamster on the beach says,
“FUZZY FACE, I CAN'T RELAX
WHILE YOU'RE TALKING
ON THE PHONE!”
Tumbleweed replies,
“BUT IT WAS BUSINESS!”
The white hamster asks,
”WHY YOU BRING YOUR CELLPHONE
TO THE BEACH?”
Tumbleweed answers,
“I HAD TO!”
The white hamster responds,
“NO, YOU DON'T!”
Tumbleweed drives past the mountains.
He sings,
“AND I'M GOING TO
THE OFFICE
AND I DO NOT
KNOW WHY”
Tumbleweed sits at his desk at the
Tumbletown Gazette.
Tumbleweed says,
“OH. WAIT A MINUTE.
THE BOSS
WAS RIGHT AGAIN.
THIS SENTENCE HERE DOESN'T MAKE
A WHOLE LOT OF SENSE.
"THE SALESPERSON'S..."
AND LOOK. I USED "GOOD"
THERE, "GOOD" THERE.
I USED "GOOD"
THREE TIMES.
OKAY. OUR TERM IS
"AWESOME."
(Tumbleweed speaking unclearly)
The Editor says,
“MUCH BETTER, TUMBLEWEED.
NOW, ONE MORE REVISION
AND YOU'RE DONE.”
Tumbleweed replies,
“WHAT? I DON'T
UNDERSTAND.
I FINISHED THE STORY
TWO HOURS AGO!”
(Eating nosily)
The Editor states,
“WHAT YOU DID, TUMBLEWEED,
WAS A FIRST DRAFT.
IT WAS GOOD, BUT
A FIRST DRAFT
ALWAYS NEEDS REVISIONS
BEFORE IT'S RIGHT.”
Tumbleweed replies,
“OH, LIKE WHEN I
FIXED THE SPELLING--”
The Editor says, “YES!”
Tumbleweed continues,
“--AND IMPROVED THE WRITING.”
The Editor responds,
“EXACTLY! ONCE YOU
FINISH A STORY,
YOU NEED TO REREAD IT AND FIX
IT UNTIL IT'S CORRECT!”
Tumbleweed says,
“LIKE I JUST DID!”
The Editor adds,
“YES. SO, ONE
MORE REVISION,
AND YOU'RE DONE.”
Tumbleweed says, “OKAY.”
The Editor asks,
“DID YOU LEAVE LETTUCE
IN MY OFFICE?”
(Tumbleweed singing gibberish)
A hairless hamster says,
“WHOA. KEEP IT DOWN.”
Tumbleweed replies, “SORRY.”
(Quietly singing gibberish)
The Editor says,
“OH, MUCH BETTER, TUMBLEWEED.
I THINK IT'S READY TO GO!”
(Gasping)
The Editor adds, “AND IT'S ONLY
A QUARTER PAST FOUR.
LITTLE EARLY
TO LEAVE.
OOH, I KNOW. WE
CAN RE-ALPHABETIZE
THE FILING
CABINETS! OOH.”
Tumbleweed responds,
“YEAH. WE COULD DO THAT. OR…”
Tumbleweed, the Editor, and the
white-haired hamster surf.
They shout, “YEAH!
WHOO! WHOO-HOO!”
(Laughing)
The Editor says, “OH, THIS IS
GOING SWIMMINGLY!”
The white-haired hamster adds,
“HEY, FUZZY FACE, WATCH
MY HAIR BLOW IN THE BREEZE!”
“Tumbleweed replies,
“OKAY! HANG FIVE,
SEA CAPTAIN!”
The Sea Captain asks,
“HOW MANY IS FIVE?”
Tumbleweed answers,
“I THINK IT MIGHT BE ONE PAW.”
The Sea Captain responds,
“OH, OKAY! HERE'S FIVE!”
(Tumbleweed and the Sea Captain cheer)
Text reads, “The End. TVO Kids.”
A picture of a cartoon duck lays on
Kristy’s desk.
Kristy says, “ONE OF THE REALLY IMPORTANT
THINGS WE NEED TO THINK ABOUT
WHEN WE'RE REVISING A DRAFT
IS ADDING MORE DETAILS.
A LOT OF THE TIME WHEN
WE WRITE FOR THE FIRST TIME,
WE WRITE SOMETHING
PRETTY SIMPLE,
AND IT'S NOT REALLY MUCH
OF A STORY FOR OUR READER.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO SEE
A LITTLE STORY RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS A STORY THAT
DOESN'T HAVE WORDS, THOUGH.
THIS IS A STORY THAT'S
TOLD IN PICTURES.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, HERE'S
MY FIRST PICTURE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT'S THE STORY
THAT'S HAPPENING HERE?
I SEE A HEAD.
I THINK IT IS
PROBABLY A DUCK.
I CAN'T
TELL WHERE IT IS.
I CAN'T TELL ANYTHING ABOUT
WHAT IT'S DOING.
I CAN'T REALLY
TELL WHAT IT'S THINKING.
THIS IS NOT
MUCH OF A STORY.
THIS IS LIKE IF I WERE
TO WRITE A STORY FOR YOU
AND I WROTE
THE SENTENCE,
"I SAW A DUCK."
YOU WOULD HAVE
A LOT OF QUESTIONS,
AND YOU WOULD PROBABLY NOT FIND
THAT STORY VERY INTERESTING,
BECAUSE THERE'S
NOT MUCH GOING ON.”
Kristy adds,
“SO, WHEN WE REVISE AND
WE ADD MORE DETAILS,
WE CAN START TO MAKE
OUR STORY MORE INTERESTING.
SO, LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT MY SECOND PICTURE HERE.”
A picture shows the duck floating on water.
Kristy says,
“SO, NOW, MY
STORY HAS
SOME MORE
DETAIL TO IT.
WE'VE BACKED UP,
AND WE'VE ADDED
A LITTLE BIT MORE.
SO, MY STORY
NOW HAS MY DUCK.
I SEE SOME
MOVEMENT LINES,
SO IT LOOKS LIKE THAT DUCK
IS PROBABLY SWIMMING.
I CAN SEE THAT
THE DUCK IS ON WATER.
I CAN SEE THAT THE
DUCK IS OUTSIDE,
AND IT LOOKS LIKE A
PRETTY NICE DAY OUTSIDE.
SO, THAT'S THE SKY
I CAN SEE.
SO, NOW, IF
I THOUGHT
ABOUT IF THIS WAS
A STORY I WROTE DOWN,
NOW, I COULD SAY,
"I SAW A DUCK
SWIMMING ON THE WATER.
IT WAS A REALLY
NICE DAY.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, NOW, I TOOK MY STORY OF
JUST "I SAW A DUCK."
AND NOW, I'M STARTING TO
ADD SOME MORE DETAILS TO IT
AND MAKE IT MORE
INTERESTING FOR MY READER.
SO, THIS
WOULD BE GOING
FROM MY FIRST DRAFT
TO MY FIRST REVISION,
BUT WHEN WE REVISE,
WE DON'T ALWAYS
HAVE TO STOP THERE,
BECAUSE I BET I COULD MAKE MY
DUCK STORY EVEN BETTER.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT
OUR THIRD PICTURE.”
A picture shows the duck swimming
in a pond as kids play in a
playground nearby.
Kristy says,
“WE HER WE HAVE OUR DUCK
SWIMMING
ON THE WATER.
IT'S STILL A NICE
DAY OUTSIDE,
BUT NOW, I HAVE
SO MUCH MORE DETAIL.
I CAN SEE
THAT THERE'S A PARK.
I CAN SEE
THAT THERE'S A KID.
I CAN SEE THAT THIS IS
PROBABLY A POND,
BECAUSE IT LOOKS PRETTY
SMALL IN THE PARK.
HERE, THE DUCK COULD
HAVE BEEN
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
OCEAN BY HIMSELF,
BUT NOW, I HAVE
SOME MORE DETAIL.
I CAN SEE THAT THERE'S
A CITY IN THE BACKGROUND.
I CAN SEE A TREE AND
SOME GRASS.
MAYBE I CAN EVEN MAKE A GUESS
AT WHAT THE DUCK IS LOOKING AT.”
Kristy adds, “IF THIS WERE
MY WRITTEN STORY,
NOW, INSTEAD OF
HAVING ONE SENTENCE...
"I SAW A DUCK,"
I COULD TURN THIS INTO
A WHOLE PARAGRAPH.
SO, I COULD SAY,
"I SAW A DUCK
THAT WAS SWIMMING
IN A POND AT THE PARK.
AT THE PARK, THERE WAS
A PLAYGROUND,
AND THERE WERE
SOME KIDS PLAYING.
AND THEY WERE
HAVING SO MUCH FUN.
IT WAS A REALLY
BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE."
SO, BY ADDING MORE
DETAIL,
I HAVE A MUCH
MORE INTERESTING STORY.
IF I'M LOOKING AT
A PICTURE,
JUST THE SAME AS IF I'M
READING A STORY,
I WANT YOU
TO THINK ABOUT,
WHICH ONE WOULD YOU
RATHER TAKE A LOOK AT?”
Kristy continues, “WOULD YOU
RATHER LOOK
AT THIS PICTURE
OF JUST A DUCK'S HEAD?
OR WOULD YOU RATHER LOOK AT
THIS PICTURE THAT HAS
ALL OF THESE DETAILS AND ALL
OF THIS EXTRA INFORMATION?
FOR ME, I FIND THIS
MUCH MORE INTERESTING.
WHEN I LOOKED
AT THE DUCK'S HEAD,
I SAW IT,
AND THAT WAS IT.
WHEN I LOOK AT THIS PICTURE,
I'M LOOKING ALL AROUND
AT ALL OF
THE EXTRA DETAILS
AND ALL OF THE INTERESTING
THINGS THERE ARE TO SEE.
THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN
WE REVISE OUR STORY.
WE DON'T WANT TO TELL A
STORY THAT'S A DUCK'S HEAD.
WE WANT TO
TELL A STORY
THAT'S A WHOLE STORY ABOUT
WHAT'S GOING ON FOR THE DUCK.
THAT'S HOW WE MAKE IT
INTERESTING FOR OUR READER
AND HOW WE GRAB THEIR
ATTENTION WHEN WE REVISE.”
Kristy’s whiteboard reads, “Nouns,
person, place, or thing. Verbs, action
words. Adjectives, descriptive words
for nouns.
Kristy says,
”WE'RE GOING TO TAKE
A LOOK AT A CHART
THAT TALKS ABOUT SOME OF THE
DIFFERENT TYPES OF WORDS
WE USE IN OUR WRITING.
THESE ARE CALLED
THE PARTS OF SPEECH.
THE THREE WE'RE GOING
TO FOCUS ON TODAY
ARE NOUNS, VERBS,
AND ADJECTIVES.
NOUNS ARE THE WORDS
THAT DESCRIBE PEOPLE,
PLACES, OR THINGS.
SO A NOUN
MIGHT BE A HAT
OR A CAR OR THE ZOO
OR YOUR MOM.
ALL OF THOSE ARE PEOPLE,
PLACES, OR THINGS.
THERE ARE SOME SPECIAL KINDS OF
NOUNS CALLED PROPER NOUNS
THAT DESCRIBE
ONE OF SOMETHING.
SO, FOR EXAMPLE,
ALL TEACHERS ARE
TEACHERS,
BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE MISS
TATE-ANGEL. THAT'S ME.
SO, PROPER NOUNS
GET CAPITALS,
LIKE OUR NAMES.
NAMES GET CAPITALS,
NAMES OF
SPECIAL PLACES.
THERE'S LOTS OF
CITIES IN THE WORLD,
BUT THERE'S
ONLY ONE OTTAWA,
SO OTTAWA GETS
AN UPPERCASE LETTER.
THOSE ARE
PROPER NOUNS.
SO, THEY'RE SPECIAL TYPES
OF PEOPLE, PLACES, AND THINGS.”
Kristy continues,
“THE WORDS WE USE IN OUR
WRITING THAT DESCRIBE ACTIONS
ARE CALLED VERBS.
SO, VERBS DESCRIBE ANYTHING
WE CAN DO.
I THINK OF THEM AS ANY WORDS YOU
CAN REALLY ADD "ING" TO.
SO, I CAN RUN.
I CAN WALK.
I CAN READ. I CAN DRIVE.
I CAN GARDEN.
I CAN JUMP.
I CAN WRITE.
I CAN WATCH THINGS.
ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE ACTION
WORDS WE USE IN OUR STORY.”
Kristy adds,
“FINALLY, THERE ARE
ADJECTIVES,
AND WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS
ON THESE ADJECTIVES TODAY.
ADJECTIVES ARE DESCRIPTIVE
WORDS FOR NOUNS.
SO, THEY ARE
THE WORDS
THAT MAKE SOMETHING
EVEN MORE INTERESTING
AND THAT CAN ADD
EXTRA DETAIL TO IT.
SO, IF I TELL ABOUT,
"I HAVE A CAT,"
WELL, IT'S TRUE,
BUT IT'S NOT
VERY INTERESTING.
AND HOW IS MY CAT DIFFERENT
THAN ANYBODY ELSE'S CAT?
I CAN USE ADJECTIVES TO HELP ME
MAKE MY CAT MORE INTERESTING
OR HELP ME DESCRIBE MY
CAT WITH A LITTLE MORE DETAIL.
SO, I COULD SAY,
"I HAVE A CAT WITH
BROWN AND GREY STRIPES
AND A WHITE BELLY AND
SHARP CLAWS."
SO, I'M USING
THE WORDS
LIKE "WHITE" AND
"GREY," "STRIPED."
ALL OF THOSE
WORDS ARE ONES
THAT HELP DESCRIBE MY CAT
TO GIVE HIM MORE DETAIL
AND TO HELP YOU GET A
CLEARER PICTURE IN YOUR HEAD
OF WHAT
HE LOOKS LIKE.”
Kristy says,
“WHEN I'M WRITING
MY STORIES,
I WANT TO MAKE SURE I USE THESE
ADJECTIVES SO THAT MY READER
CAN REALLY PICTURE IN THEIR HEAD
WHAT I'M TELLING ABOUT.
I WANT THEM TO BE
ABLE TO IMAGINE
AND TO BE ABLE TO SEE THE
SAME THING THAT I CAN IMAGINE
AND I CAN SEE IN MY
HEAD WHEN I'M WRITING.
SO, ADJECTIVES JUST MAKE OUR
WRITING MORE INTERESTING.
WE'VE GOT A QUICK EPISODE
OF THE HOMEWORK ZONE
I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU WATCH
THAT IS ALL ABOUT ADJECTIVES,
SO IT'S GOING TO HELP YOU
LEARN A LITTLE BIT MORE
OF THESE KIND OF WORDS
AND HOW WE CAN USE THEM.
AND THEN WE'RE
GOING TO COME BACK,
AND WE'RE GOING TO PRACTISE
ADJECTIVES IN OUR WRITING
TO MAKE IT
MORE DETAILED,
TO MAKE IT MORE
INTERESTING,
AND TO HELP IT GRAB
OUR READERS' ATTENTION.
AND THAT'S A REALLY
IMPORTANT PART OF REVISING,
IS ADDING
WORDS LIKE THAT
TO MAKE OUR WRITING
EVEN BETTER.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, I'D LIKE YOU, IF YOU'VE GOT
YOUR PENCIL AND PAPER--
MAYBE YOU
COULD JOT DOWN
AND WRITE DOWN SOME OF
THE ADJECTIVES YOU HEAR,
SOME OF THOSE
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS
IN THIS EPISODE OF
HOMEWORK ZONE
THAT YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO
USE IN YOUR WRITING.
SO, GRAB YOUR
PENCIL AND PAPER.
I'LL SEE YOU BACK
IN JUST A FEW MINUTES.”
(Many kids talking)
A cartoon teacher wearing a brown
and blue tie says,
“HELLO, CLASS.”
The kids reply, “SHH!”
The teacher continues,
“TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO
LEARN ABOUT ADJECTIVES.
AN ADJECTIVE IS
A DESCRIBING WORD.
UH, FOR EXAMPLE,
YOU COULD SAY I'M
WEARING A TIE,
OR YOU COULD SAY I'M
WEARING A HANDSOME TIE.
"HANDSOME" IS A WORD
THAT DESCRIBES MY TIE.
UH, WHAT'S THAT?
YES, I'M
BEING SERIOUS.
MY GRANDPA MADE
ME THIS TIE,
AND I LOVE MY GRAMPA-LEE
BOO-BA-LEE-BA-LEE-BOO.”
(Chuckling)
The teacher adds, “YOU KNOW WHAT?
UH, LET'S JUST WATCH THE
BOO-BA-LEE-BA-BA-LEE VIDEO.”
(Static hissing)
A video plays on a television screen.
A blue ball with legs sings,
“AN ADJECTIVE
IS THE WAY
TO DESCRIBE WHAT
YOU SAY”
A female raps,
“AN APPLE IS A NOUN.
A NOUN'S A PERSON, PLACE,
OR THING.
PLEASE DON'T MIX UP
THESE THINGS.
SO, NOW, THIS
APPLE IS ROUND.
THIS APPLE IS GREEN.
THIS APPLE
IS DELICIOUS.
THAT APPLE IS MEAN.”
A green apple has an angry face.
The blue ball sings,
“AN ADJECTIVE IS THE WAY
TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SAY”
The female raps,
“YEAH. AN
ADJECTIVE WILL DESCRIBE
MOST ANYTHING AT ALL,
LIKE, "THIS BOOK IS GREAT.
THAT DOG IS SMALL,
AND HERE IS SOME COLD WATER.
AND THERE'S A BLUE LAKE.
HERE'S A BRIGHT LIGHT,
AND THERE'S
A LONG SNAKE."
The blue ball sings,
“AN ADJECTIVE IS THE WAY
TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SAY
AN ADJECTIVE IS THE WAY
TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SAY”
The words small, green, blue, long,
great, mean, delicious, round, cold,
and bright appear in a speech bubble.
The teacher says,
“SO, AN ADJECTIVE IS
A WAY TO DESCRIBE
A PERSON, PLACE,
OR THING.
CAN YOU THINK OF AN EXAMPLE?
UH, YES.
UH, MY HEAD
IS VERY ROUND.
UH, YEAH, ROUND
LIKE-- LIKE A FISHBOWL
OR A PURPLE
BASKETBALL OR--
YOU KNOW WHAT? UH, WHY
DON'T WE GO BACK TO MY TIE?
ANYONE WANT TO
COMMENT ON MY TIE?”
(School bell ringing)
The teacher asks, “ANYONE?”
(Kids laughing)
Credits read, “TVO Kids”
Kristy says,
“I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOYED
THAT HOMEWORK ZONE VIDEO
ALL ABOUT ADDING ADJECTIVES.
I HAVE SOME SENTENCES HERE
THAT ARE PRETTY BORING.
THEY'RE JUST PLAIN
OLD SENTENCES,
AND WE'RE GOING TO WORK TOGETHER
TO ADD SOME ADJECTIVES.
SO, I'M GOING TO
READ THROUGH THE SENTENCE.
SO, WE'VE GOT "THE FIREFIGHTER
PUT OUT THE FIRE."
SO, I HAVE TWO THINGS
I COULD ADD ADJECTIVES.
I HAVE TWO
NOUNS IN HERE.
I HAVE A
FIREFIGHTER.
THAT'S A PERSON, PLACE,
OR THING.
AND I HAVE A FIRE.
THAT'S A PERSON, PLACE,
OR THING.
SO, I COULD ADD A WORD
TO DESCRIBE THE FIREFIGHTER,
AND I COULD ADD A WORD
TO DESCRIBE THE FIRE
THAT MIGHT MAKE MY
SENTENCE MORE INTERESTING.
SO, I'M GOING TO
THINK ABOUT THE FIREFIGHTER.
HOW COULD I
DESCRIBE THE--
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE GOT
A WORD FOR THE FIRE.
I'M GOING TO PUT
IN A LITTLE CARET,
AND A CARET IS THIS
LITTLE ARROW RIGHT HERE.
IT'S AN EDITING
MARK YOU CAN USE,
AND I'M GOING TO ADD
THE WORD "ENORMOUS."
SO, I'M GOING TO IMAGINE
THE FIRE WAS REALLY, REALLY BIG.
IT WAS ENORMOUS.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF THAT FIREFIGHTER IS
PUTTING OUT AN ENORMOUS FIRE,
I THINK THEY MUST BE
REALLY BRAVE.”
Kristy adds,
“SO, LET'S TAKE A
LOOK AT MY SENTENCE.
NOW, I
WOULD RECOPY THIS,
AND I WOULD MAKE
A GOOD COPY.
THIS HAS JUST
MY REVISIONS ON IT.
THIS ISN'T MY PUBLISHED
COPY WITH MY LITTLE CARETS.
BUT LET'S
READ IT OVER.
"THE BRAVE FIREFIGHTER PUT
OUT THE ENORMOUS FIRE."
THAT PAINTS SUCH A BETTER
PICTURE IN MY HEAD.
I CAN REALLY IMAGINE
WHAT'S HAPPENING THERE.
BY ADDING ONLY
TWO WORDS,
I'VE ADDED SO
MUCH DETAIL
BY PUTTING THOSE
ADJECTIVES IN THERE.
LET'S TRY ANOTHER
ONE TOGETHER.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, OUR
NEXT SENTENCE IS,
"THE PARK HAS
SWINGS AND A SLIDE."
SO, WHAT COULD
I DESCRIBE?
I COULD DESCRIBE
THE PARK,
I COULD DESCRIBE
THE SWINGS,
AND I COULD
DESCRIBE THE SLIDE.
LET'S SEE.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M THINKING ABOUT THE
PARK NEAR MY HOUSE,
AND THE PARK NEAR MY
HOUSE HAS A CURLY SLIDE.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE ONES
THAT TWISTS ALONG.
AND THE PARK HAS...
HMM. HOW COULD I
DESCRIBE MY SWINGS?
THE PARK HAS...
HMM. I'LL COME BACK
TO SWINGS. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GOING TO SAY THAT
PARK IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
"THE BEAUTIFUL
PARK HAS..."
HMM. "THE BEAUTIFUL
PARK HAS..."
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M JUST GOING TO TELL
HOW MANY SWINGS THEY HAVE
FOR MORE DETAIL.
"THE BEAUTIFUL PARK HAS FOUR
SWINGS AND A CURLY SLIDE."
I HOPE NOW YOU MIGHT HAVE
A BETTER PICTURE
OF WHAT THE PARK NEAR MY
HOUSE LOOKS LIKE.
IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL,
BECAUSE IT HAS LOTS OF TREES.
I COULD PROBABLY
ADD THAT IN.
"THE BEAUTIFUL PARK HAS FOUR
SWINGS AND A CURLY SLIDE."
AND I THINK YOU CAN PROBABLY
IMAGINE MY PLAY STRUCTURE
A LITTLE BIT BETTER.
SO, THAT'S A WAY
WE CAN ADD ADJECTIVES
TO MAKE OUR SENTENCES EVEN
MORE INTERESTING.”
A mural on a graffiti-covered brick wall
shows a dark-haired man. The dark-haired
man appears.
He says, “YO, WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S GOING ON, MOVERS?
WE'RE GOING TO BE LEARNING
ONE OF THE BOLDEST MOVES EVER.
TIME TO BE A BOSS WITH
THE SHRUG AND CROSS. EH!”
The man waves his arms in the air as
he dances.
He adds,
“TIME TO LEARN ONE
OF MY FAVOURITE DANCES.
IT IS THE SHRUG
AND CROSS.
LET'S START
UP WITH THE HANDS.
HANDS ARE ALWAYS
AT A FIST.
YOU'RE GOING
TO OPEN FRONT,
THEN CLOSE IT BACK,
AND FRONT TO
CROSS IT DOWN.
ONE MORE TIME. FRONT
AND BACK AND FRONT.
COME DOWN AND FRONT
AND BACK AND FRONT
AND DOWN.
YOU'VE SEEN THE HANDS. NOW,
LET'S GO CHECK IN WITH THE FEET.
ALL YOUR FEET ARE DOING
IS LEANING FRONT,
LEANING BACK, LEANING FRONT.
THEN YOU'RE GOING TO
THROW IT DOWN.
AGAIN, ONE, TWO,
A THREE, A FOUR,
AND FIVE, A SIX,
A SEVEN, A EIGHT.
AND THERE
YOU GUYS HAVE IT.
IT IS THE SHRUG
AND CROSS.
MUSIC AND FRIENDS?”
A dark-haired woman and a man
with a backward red baseball
hat dance.
The dark-haired man says,
“FIVE, SIX, SEVEN.
OPEN, CLOSE, OPEN, THROW.
OPEN, CLOSE.
KEEP IT GOING. HA!
COME ON, GUYS!
WHOO!”
A male singer sings,
“DANCE, DANCE, DANCE
WITH ME”
The dark-haired man says,
“GUESS WHAT, GUYS?
YOU JUST
MOVED WITH MICKEY.
SEE YOU!”
Mickey disappears.
Kristy stands beside the whiteboard.
On it is written “Word graveyard. Said,
Nice, Big”
Kristy says,
“I HOPE YOUR BODY
HAS LOTS OF ENERGY
AND YOU ENJOYED THAT
BODY BREAK
AND YOU GOT A CHANCE
TO GET UP AND MOVE AROUND
AND GET
YOUR BRAIN WORKING
SO THAT WE CAN KEEP
WORKING TOGETHER.
A REALLY
GREAT STRATEGY
I'VE USED WITH MY
STUDENTS BEFORE
WHEN WE COME TO
REVISING OUR WORK
AND TRYING TO THINK
OF INTERESTING WORD CHOICE
IS A WORD GRAVEYARD.
I DON'T KNOW I
F YOU'VE EVER USED
ONE OF THESE IN YOUR
CLASSES BEFORE,
BUT SOMETIMES IN
MY CLASS,
I FIND THAT MY STUDENTS
USE THE SAME WORDS
OVER AND OVER
AND OVER
AND OVER AGAIN.
AND IT'S NOT VERY INTERESTING
FOR THEM TO WRITE,
AND IT'S NOT
VERY INTERESTING
FOR ME OR FOR
ANYONE ELSE TO READ.
SO SOMETIMES, WE'LL HAVE TO
MAKE A WORD GRAVEYARD,
AND THAT'S WHERE
WE KILL A WORD
AND WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO
USE THAT WORD ANYMORE.
IT IS DONE.”
Kristy adds,
“SO, WHAT WE NEED
TO DO IS FIND
DIFFERENT WORDS
THAT MEAN THE SAME THING
THAT WE
CAN USE INSTEAD
THAT ARE WAY MORE
EXCITING AND INTERESTING
THAN THESE BORING
OLD WORDS.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO PRACTISE
MAKING A WORD GRAVEYARD TOGETHER
FOR SOME OF THE WORDS THAT
ARE NOT VERY INTERESTING
THAT I SEE IN A LOT
OF MY STUDENTS' WRITING.
SO, WHEN WE WRITE, A LOT
OF THE TIME, WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT THINGS THAT CHARACTERS
ARE SAYING TO EACH OTHER,
AND WHAT I HEAR IN
THE STORY IS,
"MOM SAID,"
"I SAID,"
"HE SAID," "SHE SAID,"
"SAID, SAID,
SAID, SAID, SAID."
AND IT STARTS TO
GET REALLY BORING,
BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME
THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN,
SO WE'RE GOING TO
TAKE THE WORD "SAID"
AND WE'RE GOING TO THINK
OF DIFFERENT THINGS WE CAN USE
INSTEAD OF "SAID."
SO, IF I THINK ABOUT HOW
CHARACTERS CAN TALK IN A STORY,
THEY DON'T ALWAYS
SAY SOMETHING IN EXACTLY--
I'M KIND OF USING
"SAID" NOW--
IN EXACTLY
THE SAME WAY.
SOMETIMES, CHARACTERS
MIGHT YELL,
SO INSTEAD OF "SAID,"
I COULD SAY
SOMEBODY YELLED.
ANOTHER WORD FOR
"YELLED" IF I WANTED TO
IS "SHOUTED."
"SHOUTED."
IF SOMEBODY'S
REALLY EXCITED,
MAYBE THEY EXCLAIMED.
MAYBE SOMEBODY
WAS BEING REALLY QUIET,
AND THEY
WHISPERED A WORD.
ANOTHER WORD FOR
JUST WHEN YOU
SAY SOMETHING PLAIN AND
SIMPLE IS "STATED."
ALL OF THESE ARE WORDS THAT
YOU CAN USE INSTEAD OF "SAID."
NOW, YOU CAN'T--
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE
DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK EVERY TIME.
YOU NEED TO PICK
THE ONE THAT MAKES SENSE.
SO IF YOU HAVE A CHARACTER WHO'S
REALLY, REALLY ANGRY,
YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO
SAY THEY WHISPERED IT.
YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING
TO SAY THEY YELLED
OR SHOUTED
OR EXCLAIMED.
OOH, I'VE GOT ANOTHER
REALLY GOOD ONE FOR "YELLED"
THAT I LIKE.
IT'S "HOLLERED."
Kristy states, “IF YOU FIND YOURSELF
USING A WORD LIKE "SAID"
OVER AND OVER AND
OVER AGAIN IN YOUR WRITING,
YOU MIGHT WANT TO CREATE A
LITTLE WORD GRAVEYARD LIKE THIS
IN YOUR WRITER'S NOTEBOOK
OR IN YOUR JOURNAL
SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE LISTS
OF OTHER WORDS THAT YOU CAN USE
INSTEAD OF THE ONES
YOU FIND YOURSELF REPEATING
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
"SAID" IS A REALLY, REALLY
GOOD EXAMPLE,
BECAUSE WE DO USE THAT IN
OUR WRITING A LOT.
ANOTHER ONE I FIND MY STUDENTS
USE OVER AND OVER AGAIN
IS THE WORD "NICE."
"THAT PERSON
IS NICE."
"THAT FLOWER
IS NICE."
AND "NICE" IS
JUST KIND OF...
IT'S NOT A VERY
INTERESTING WORD,
AND THE OTHER PROBLEM
WITH "NICE" IS,
IT CAN KIND OF MEAN A
LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS,
SO IT'S NOT
VERY SPECIFIC.
BUT IF WE CHOOSE
BETTER WORDS,
WE CAN HELP PAINT
THAT PICTURE FOR OUR READERS
SO THEY CAN SEE
WHAT WE'RE SEEING.
SO, IF I WAS TALKING
ABOUT A PERSON BEING NICE,
I PROBABLY MEAN--
MAYBE I
MEAN THEY'RE KIND.
MAYBE I MEAN
THEY'RE GENEROUS.
THEY GIVE THINGS
TO PEOPLE.
MAYBE FOR A PERSON,
IF I'M TALKING ABOUT
THEM BEING NICE,
MAYBE I MEAN
THEY'RE VERY HELPFUL
AND THEY'RE ALWAYS
THERE TO GIVE A HAND.
SO, SOMEBODY COULD BE
KIND, GENEROUS, HELPFUL.
ALL OF THOSE WORDS ARE
MORE SPECIFIC
AND MORE INTERESTING
THAN "NICE."
THEY GIVE US A
BETTER PICTURE IN OUR HEAD.
LET'S THINK
ABOUT ANOTHER EXAMPLE:
WHEN I SAID, "THAT
FLOWER IS NICE."
WELL, IF I WAS
DESCRIBING A THING,
MAYBE I
MEAN IT'S PRETTY.
MAYBE I MEAN... HMM.
MAYBE
IT'S BEAUTIFUL,
ANOTHER WORD FOR
PRETTY.
"BEAUTIFUL."
WHAT ELSE COULD
I DESCRIBE AS NICE?
MAYBE SOMEBODY WHO'S
NICE IS PLAYFUL,
OR A PET MIGHT
BE PLAYFUL.
ALL OF THESE THINGS
COULD TAKE THE PLACE OF "NICE"
BUT ALSO GIVE ME A
LOT MORE INFORMATION
THAN THE
WORD "NICE" DOES.”
Kristy continues,
“THE LAST WORD I PUT IN
MY WORD GRAVEYARD
IS THE WORD "BIG."
THE WORD "SMALL" CAN
PROBABLY GO HERE, TOO,
BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY
BETTER WORDS WE CAN USE
IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
SOMETHING BEING BIG.
IF I WAS TALKING
SOMETHING BEING BIG,
MAYBE INSTEAD
OF "BIG,"
I WANT TO SAY
IT'S GIANT.
OR MAYBE IT'S
ENORMOUS.
OR MAYBE IT'S HUGE.
OR MAYBE
IT'S GIGANTIC,
WHICH IS A BIT LIKE "GIANT"
BUT STILL DIFFERENT.
"GIGANTIC."
"ENORMOUS." "HUGE."
MAYBE WHEN I'M TALKING
ABOUT IT BEING BIG,
WHAT I REALLY
MEAN IS,
IT'S TALL.
MAYBE IF I'M TALKING
ABOUT SOMEBODY BEING BIG,
MAYBE I'M TALKING ABOUT
THEM BEING GROWN UP.
ALL OF THOSE THINGS COULD BE
USED INSTEAD OF "BIG,"
DEPENDING ON WHAT
MY SENTENCE IS,
AND ALL OF THEM MEAN
SOMETHING A LOT MORE SPECIFIC.”
Kristy goes on,
“A REALLY GREAT
TOOL YOU CAN USE
IF YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE
A WORD GRAVEYARD LIST
OF DIFFERENT WORDS
THAT YOU'D LIKE TO USE
INSTEAD OF ONES YOU USE
IN YOUR WRITING A LOT
IS CALLED
A THESAURUS.
A THESAURUS IS KIND OF
RELATED TO A DICTIONARY.
YOU CAN USE A DICTIONARY
TO SEE HOW TO SPELL WORDS,
BUT A THESAURUS
IS A WORD
WHERE YOU LOOK
UP ONE WORD
AND IT TELLS YOU A WHOLE
BUNCH OF OTHER WORDS
THAT MEAN THE
SAME THING.
AND WHEN WE'RE DOING OUR
REVISION AND WHEN WE'RE WRITING,
A THESAURUS CAN BE
A REALLY USEFUL TOOL
IF WE FIND OURSELVES
USING BORING WORDS
OR USING THE SAME WORDS
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
WE CAN USE A THESAURUS TO
LOOK SOMETHING DIFFERENT UP
AND SEE IF WE
CAN SWAP IT OUT.
SO, IF I FOUND MYSELF SAYING,
"MY FRIEND IS NICE--"
OOH-- I WOULD NOTICE
THAT WORD, "NICE,"
AND I WOULD THINK,
"NICE IS NOT A
SUPER-INTERESTING WORD.
WHAT DO I MEAN BY
'MY FRIEND IS NICE'?"
WELL, IF I MEAN MY FRIEND
ALWAYS TREATS ME WELL,
"MY FRIEND IS KIND" IS A
MUCH BETTER SENTENCE.
IF I MEAN MY FRIEND
ALWAYS GIVES ME A
HAND WHEN I NEED IT,
"MY FRIEND IS HELPFUL"
WOULD BE MORE EXPRESSIVE.
IF I AM TALKING ABOUT
"MY PUPPY GOT BIG,"
MAYBE I MEAN MY PUPPY
IS GROWN UP NOW.
MAYBE IF I'M TALKING
ABOUT MY FRIEND'S
DOG WHO IS A GREAT DANE,
I MIGHT SAY,
"THAT DOG IS HUGE."
JACKSON IS A HUGE DOG
OR AN ENORMOUS DOG,
BECAUSE I'M TALKING
ABOUT SIZE.”
Kristy adds,
“SO, I WANT TO THINK ABOUT
THOSE SPECIFIC WORDS
AND WHAT I
MEAN BY THEM
AND FIND BETTER WORDS IF I
CAN THAT MEAN THE SAME THING.
SO, IF YOU USE THE SAME
WORDS OVER AND OVER AGAIN,
THINK ABOUT MAKING
YOURSELF A WORD GRAVEYARD.”
Text reads “TVO Kids presents”.
Colourful animated letters, W, A, C, K, and Y, jump in a line then form the title “Wacky Word Songs”.
An upbeat song plays:
“IT'S THE WACKY WACKY
NUMBER SONGS.
OH YEAH.”
Text reads, “With Zoey”
Zoey stands in a bedroom. She wears
a yellow t-shirt and a denim jacket.
Zoey says, “HI. HELLO.
GREETINGS. GOOD DAY.
THERE ARE SO MANY
WAYS TO SAY HI.
I LOOKED IT UP IN MY
DICTIONARY AND THESAURUS.
THEY'RE FULL OF SYNONYMS.
THOSE ARE WORDS
THAT MEAN THE SAME THING
OR NEARLY THE
SAME THING.
USING SYNONYMS HELPS ME WRITE
BETTER STORIES AND SONGS.
WHY JUST SING
WHEN I CAN CHANT,
SERENADE, OR
HARMONIZE?
LET'S GO!”
Zoey wears a marching band uniform.
She sings,
“WHEN IT MEANS THE
SAME THING
OR ALMOST THE SAME
IT'S A SYNONYM
SO LET'S
PLAY A GAME
WHEN I SAY, "RABBIT,"
YOU SAY, "BUNNY."
WHEN I SAY, "SILLY,"
YOU SAY, "FUNNY."
SYNONYM! WHEN I SAY,
"FAST," YOU SAY, "QUICK."
WHEN I SAY, "ILL,"
YOU SAY, "SICK."
SYNONYM!
SYNONYMS MAKE
VOCABULARY GROW
THEY'RE SUPER-HELPFUL
WORDS TO KNOW
WHEN I SAY, "ANGRY,"
YOU SAY, "MAD."
WHEN I SAY, "HAPPY,"
YOU SAY, "GLAD."
SYNONYM!
SYNONYM!”
Zoey says,
“MY LIST OF SYNONYMS
IS GETTING REALLY BIG,
HUGE, GIGANTIC,
MASSIVE!”
Text reads, “Wacky Word Songs,
TVO Kids. Apartment 11 Productions”
(Kid laughing)
Kristy says,
“I HOPE YOU HAD FUN
WITH THAT EPISODE OF
WACKY WORD SHOW
AND SOME OF THEIR FABULOUS,
FANTASTIC, AND PHENOMENAL WORDS.
I LOVE THE WAY THEY THOUGHT
OF LOTS OF EXCITING WORDS
THAT MEANT THE SAME THING
IN THERE WITH SYNONYMS.
WE'RE GOING TO WORK THROUGH
HOW WE CAN USE
SOME FABULOUS, FANTASTIC,
AND PHENOMENAL WORDS.
WE CAN ADD SOME ADJECTIVES
AND MAKE OUR DRAFT EVEN BETTER.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A LOOK
AT A CHECKLIST
FOR REVISING A DRAFT,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING
TO WORK THROUGH A DRAFT
AND SEE IF WE CAN
MAKE IT EVEN BETTER.”
Kristy adds, “SO, OUR
CHECKLIST IS,
THE FIRST THING WE'RE GOING TO
DO IS READ THE WORK OUT LOUD
TO MAKE SURE
IT MAKES SENSE.
AS WE READ, WE'RE
GOING TO CHANGE WORDS
TO MAKE THE WRITING
MORE INTERESTING,
AND WE MIGHT FIND, LIKE
OUR SENTENCES,
THAT WE WANT TO ADD
SOME ADJECTIVES.
WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THE
WHOLE STORY STAYS ON TOPIC,
AND WE WANT TO INCLUDE
A TITLE TO TELL THE TOPIC.
SO, THE FIRST THING
WE'RE GOING TO DO
IS READ THROUGH
THE STORY.
I'M NOT GOING TO
CHANGE ANYTHING THE FIRST TIME.
I'M GOING TO
READ THROUGH IT,
AND I WANT YOU
TO PAY ATTENTION
FOR THINGS YOU THINK
I NEED TO CHANGE.
SO, YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR
DETECTIVE REVISION EYES ON
AND BE READY TO LOOK
FOR THINGS WE NEED TO CHANGE.
SO, LET'S READ
THROUGH OUR STORY.”
Kristy continues, “OUR STORY IS CALLED
"THE LIBRARY."
"ON TUESDAY, OUR CLASS
WENT TO THE LIBRARY.
WE DID NOT THERE WERE SO
MANY THINGS TO DO."
HMM. "WE COULD
READ BOOKS.
WE COULD
PLAY GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY.
WE COULD LOOK MOVIES
AND VIDEO GAMES.
THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY."
HMM. I DON'T
KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I HEARD A
FEW THINGS
WHEN I READ
THAT OUT LOUD
THAT DID
NOT MAKE SENSE.
SO LET'S
COME BACK THROUGH,
AND LET'S READ IT
ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME
AND SEE WHAT
WE CAN FIX UP.
"ON TUESDAY,
OUR CLASS WENT
TO THE LIBRARY."
WELL, THAT
SOUNDS OKAY.
THAT'S A GOOD START
TO THE STORY.
IT TOLD WHEN THEY
WENT TO THE LIBRARY.
IT TOLD WHO WENT TO
THE LIBRARY.
MAYBE A DETAIL COULD BE
WHAT LIBRARY IT WAS.
FOR EXAMPLE,
IF MY CLASS WENT--
MAYBE I'LL IMAGINE THAT THIS
WAS A TRIP MY CLASS TOOK,
AND WE WOULD SAY,
"TO THE SMITHS FALLS
LIBRARY,"
BECAUSE THAT'S THE
NAME OF THE TOWN
AND THAT'S THE LIBRARY
WE'D HAVE GONE TO VISIT.
SO, I JUST ADDED A
LITTLE BIT MORE DETAIL
TO HELP MY READER
UNDERSTAND.
"WE DID NOT THERE WERE SO
MANY THINGS TO DO."
THAT SENTENCE DOES
NOT MAKE SENSE.
"WE DID NOT
THERE WERE..."
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK IT MEANS,
"WE DID NOT KNOW
THERE WERE SO MANY
THINGS TO DO."
AND WHEN
I READ THIS,
IT SOUNDS LIKE THERE WERE A
LOT OF FUN THINGS TO DO,
OR MAYBE "FUN" IS
A LITTLE--
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT? MAYBE "EXCITING."
THAT SOUNDS
PRETTY EXCITING,
SO I'M GOING TO
ADD HERE
"SO MANY EXCITING
THINGS TO DO."
LET'S CHECK THAT
SENTENCE AND MAKE SURE
IT MAKES SENSE NOW.
"WE DID NOT KNOW THERE WERE SO
MANY EXCITING THINGS TO DO."
THAT MAKES A
LOT MORE SENSE.
"WE COULD
READ BOOKS.
WE COULD
PLAY GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY.
WE COULD LOOK AT MOVIES
AND VIDEO GAMES."
THAT IS REALLY
REPETITIVE.
I NOTICE IT SAYS,
"WE COULD... WE COULD...
WE COULD... WE COULD."
SO, I'M GOING TO TRY
AND CHANGE SOME OF THOSE UP
SO THAT THE SENTENCES
AREN'T STARTING
THE SAME
WAY EVERY TIME.
SO, MAYBE
I WILL SAY--
INSTEAD OF "WE COULD,"
I'M GOING TO SAY,
"WE GOT TO READ..."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KNOW WHEN MY CLASS GOES
TO THE LIBRARY,
THERE'S SO
MANY BOOKS TO READ,
SO I'M GOING TO SAY,
"WE GOT TO READ
LOTS OF BOOKS."
"WE GOT TO
READ LOTS OF BOOKS.
WE COULD
PLAY GAMES."
THAT'S NOT SO BAD NOW THAT I
CHANGED THE "COULD" THERE.
SO, I COULD CHANGE THAT.
"WE GOT TO PLAY--"
YOU KNOW WHAT? I
BET THE GAMES WERE FUN.
I'M GOING TO ADD THAT
DESCRIPTIVE WORD FOR THE GAMES.
"WE COULD PLAY
FUN GAMES."
Kristy adds,
“ONE THING TO KNOW WHEN
I'M PUTTING THE CARETS IN,
THESE HAPPEN TO HAVE
ALL BEEN WRITTEN ON THE TOP,
BUT YOU CAN ALSO
WRITE THEM UNDERNEATH.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
IF YOU WRITE
IT UNDERNEATH,
YOUR CARET JUST GOES UP
INSTEAD OF DOWN.
"WE COULD PLAY
FUN GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY."
LET'S SEE.
INSTEAD OF "WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY,"
HOW COULD I MIX THIS
SENTENCE UP FROM "WE COULD"?
LET'S SEE. I DID
"WE GOT TO..."
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING
TO CHANGE THIS SENTENCE.
I'M GOING TO
CROSS OUT "COULD,"
AND I'M GOING TO SAY, "WE
PLAYED FUN GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY."
SO, "WE GOT TO READ
LOTS OF BOOKS.
WE PLAYED FUN GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY."
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING
TO SAY, "WE USED TECHNOLOGY."
Kristy says,
“HMM. THAT WORD,
"TECHNOLOGY,"
COULD MEAN A
LOT OF THINGS.
WHEN WE GOT TO GO
TO THE LIBRARY,
THE TECHNOLOGY WE
GOT TO USE
WERE THE COMPUTERS
AND IPADS.
SO INSTEAD OF
SAYING "TECHNOLOGY,"
EVEN THOUGH THAT'S AN
INTERESTING WORD AND A BIG WORD,
IT'S NOT VERY
SPECIFIC.
I THINK I SHOULD GIVE A
LITTLE MORE DETAIL.
"WE USED..."
I'M GOING TO
CHANGE "TECHNOLOGY"
TO "THE COMPUTERS...
AND IPADS,"
BECAUSE AT
OUR LIBRARY,
THAT'S SOMETHING
WE GET TO USE.
SO, I GOT RID OF
THAT WORD, "COULD,"
SO I'VE GOT SOME DIFFERENT
SENTENCE STARTERS.
"WE COULD LOOK MOVIES
AND VIDEO GAMES."
HMM. I THINK THEY MEAN--
INSTEAD OF "LOOK,"
I THINK THEY MEAN, "WE
COULD WATCH..."
THAT'S A
BETTER WORD,
BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK
AT MOVIES AND VIDEO GAMES,
YOU'RE JUST LOOKING
AT THE CASE.
IF YOU WATCH THEM--
YOU COULD
WATCH MOVIES,
AND YOU CAN PLAY
VIDEO GAMES.
HMM. I'M READING THAT
BACK OVER.
YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH,
I THINK MAKES MORE SENSE?
I'M GOING TO CHANGE
MY REVISION,
BECAUSE WHEN WE WENT
TO THE LIBRARY,
WE COULDN'T ACTUALLY
WATCH THOSE,
BUT WE FOUND OUT
WE COULD SIGN THEM OUT.
SO INSTEAD OF SAYING
WE COULD LOOK OR WATCH
MOVIES AND
VIDEO GAMES,
I'M GOING TO SAY,
"WE COULD SIGN OUT..."
"WE COULD SIGN--"
OH, "OUT" HAS A T.
"WE COULD SIGN OUT
MOVIES AND VIDEO GAMES.
THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY."
HMM. SO, LET ME SEE.
"THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY."
HOW COULD I--
I HAVEN'T REALLY TOLD HOW
I FEEL ABOUT IT,
SO I THINK I'M GOING TO
ADD ANOTHER SENTENCE HERE.
"THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY,
AND I
CAN'T WAIT...
TO GO BACK."
Kristy continues,
“WOW. THIS LOOKS LIKE
A BIT OF A MESS,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHEN YOU REVISE,
THAT HAPPENS,
AND THAT IS OKAY,
BECAUSE
WHEN YOU REVISE,
YOUR PAPER SHOULD GET
REALLY MARKED UP LIKE THIS.
IF YOU'VE DONE A
GOOD JOB REVISING,
YOU'VE MADE A BUNCH OF
REALLY GOOD CHANGES.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO READ
THROUGH IT TOGETHER,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING
TO USE A STRATEGY
CALLED THREE
STARS AND A WISH.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO THINK
ABOUT THREE THINGS WE LIKE
AND THREE THINGS WE WISH WE
HAD DONE DIFFERENTLY
OR WISH
WE COULD ADD.
SO, IT'S A LITTLE BIT
MESSY TO READ,
BUT LET'S LISTEN TO IT AND SEE
IF IT MAKES MORE SENSE.
"THE LIBRARY.
ON TUESDAY, OUR CLASS WENT
TO THE SMITHS FALLS LIBRARY.
WE DID NOT KNOW THERE WERE SO
MANY EXCITING THINGS TO DO.
WE GOT TO
READ LOTS OF BOOKS.
WE PLAYED FUN GAMES.
WE USED THE
COMPUTERS AND IPADS.
WE COULD SIGN OUT
MOVIES AND VIDEO GAMES.
THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY,
AND I CAN'T WAIT
TO GO BACK."
I AM REALLY HAPPY
WITH THOSE REVISIONS.
SO, MY STRATEGY I'M
GOING TO USE
TO LOOK AT MY REVISIONS
AND SEE HOW I'VE DONE
IS CALLED THREE
STARS AND A WISH,
SO I'M GOING TO
DRAW THREE STARS.
AND THEN I'LL WRITE
"WISH" DOWN HERE.
SO, THREE STARS, THREE THINGS I
THINK I'VE DONE REALLY WELL.
I THINK I DID A GOOD JOB
WITH ADJECTIVES.
I ADDED LOTS
OF ADJECTIVES.
I THINK I DID A
GOOD JOB--
I REALLY LIKE
THAT I USED
LOTS OF
SENTENCE STARTERS.
SO, I MADE SURE
MY SENTENCES
DIDN'T START THE SAME
WAY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
ANOTHER STAR:
I ADDED
MORE DETAIL.”
Kristy says, “LET'S SEE.
SO, WHAT'S SOMETHING
THAT I THINK
I COULD STILL
DO BETTER ON? HMM.
SOMETHING I COULD
DO BETTER ON.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I WISH--
AND THIS IS SOMETHING
I'LL WORK ON.
IN THAT LAST
SENTENCE,
I'D REALLY LIKE AN
ADJECTIVE...
AN ADJECTIVE TO
DESCRIBE THE LIBRARY.
THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I
THINK I WOULD REALLY LIKE--
"DESCRIBE
THE LIBRARY."
THAT'S SOMETHING I WOULD
REALLY LIKE TO ADD TO MY STORY.
SO, WHEN YOU'RE
READING OVER YOUR WORK,
THREE STARS AND A WISH
ARE A GREAT STRATEGY
TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU
OR SOMEONE ELSE HAS DONE WELL
AND WHAT'S ONE THING YOU
COULD CHANGE AND ADD.”
Kristy continues, “LET'S DO A
QUICK CHECK.
DID WE READ THE WORK OUT LOUD
TO MAKE SURE IT MADE SENSE?
YEP.
DID WE CHANGE AND
ADD SOME WORDS
TO MAKE THE WRITING
MORE INTERESTING?
YEP.
DID WE STAY
ON TOPIC?
IS IT ALL ABOUT
THE LIBRARY?
YEAH, AND DID WE INCLUDE
A TITLE TO TELL THE TOPIC?
YES, WE DID.
SO, WE WENT THROUGH OUR WHOLE
REVISING A DRAFT CHECKLIST,
AND WE TURNED A BORING STORY
THAT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE
INTO SOMETHING MUCH
MORE INTERESTING.”
A mouse wears a stethoscope around
it’s neck.
A narrator says,
“YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
WITH DR. CHEDDAR!
Text reads, “Dr. Cheddar”.
(Kids cheering)
Dr. Cheddar says,
“WHY, HELLO THERE!
IT'S ME,
DR. CHEDDAR,
HERE TO HELP YOU
FEEL BETTER.
NOW, AS YOU KNOW,
A LOT OF PARENTS
AND CAREGIVERS
ARE STAYING
AT HOME RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE OF
THE COVID-19 VIRUS.
BUT YOU MIGHT BE
WONDERING
WHY YOUR PARENT CONTINUES
TO GO OUT TO WORK,
AND YOU MIGHT THINK,
"OH, IT'S JUST
NOT FAIR! HUMPH!"
A pig sings, “LA LA LA LA LA”
The pig says, “HMM?”
A nurse replies,
“I'M OFF TO WORK, ANNIE.”
Annie responds, “IT'S NOT
FAIR. MOMMY!
Annie’s mom says, “ANNIE.”
(Sighing)
Annie holds onto her mom’s leg as her
mom tries to walk out of their house.
Annie responds, “MOM? MOMMY?”
Annie’s mom says, “ANNIE.”
Annie replies, “MOM?
HMM. DON'T GO, MOMMY.
PLAY WITH ME.”
Annie responds, “ANNIE.”
Dr. Cheddar says,
“WELL, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO LET GO.
THE REASON THEY
ARE GOING TO WORK
IS BECAUSE THEY ARE CONSIDERED
AN ESSENTIAL WORKER.
YOU SEE, ESSENTIAL WORKERS
ARE THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE
PROVIDING SERVICES TO
KEEP THE CITY GOING
AND TO KEEP
YOU AND I SAFE.
ESSENTIAL WORKERS
INCLUDE DOCTORS, NURSES,
GROCERY STORE CLERKS,
POLICE OFFICERS,
FIREFIGHTERS,
TRANSIT OPERATORS,
PHARMACISTS, CHEFS,
MAIL CARRIERS,
AND MANY, MANY
MORE BRAVE PEOPLE
WORKING HARD TO
MAKE PHYSICAL DISTANCING
AS EASY AS POSSIBLE
FOR EVERYONE.”
Annie’s mom walks out her front door.
She says, “BE GOOD, SWEETIE.”
Annie asks, “WON'T THEY GET SICK?”
Dr. Cheddar responds,
“YOU'RE RIGHT TO
BE CONCERNED.
HOWEVER, MANY WORKPLACES
THAT ARE STILL OPEN
HAVE STRICT HEALTH
RULES IN PLACE
TO MAKE SURE ALL THEIR EMPLOYEES
ARE AS PROTECTED AS POSSIBLE
FROM COVID-19.
THEY ARE ALL STILL
PHYSICAL DISTANCING,
WEARING GLOVES
AND MASKS,
AND MAKING SURE THAT THEY
ARE AS SAFE AS CAN BE.
YOU MIGHT ASK,
"WHAT CAN I DO?"
(Clanging)
Dr. Cheddar continues,
“WELL, RIGHT NOW,
AROUND THE WORLD--
--PEOPLE ARE ORGANIZING TIMES
TO STEP OUTSIDE
THEIR HOUSES
AND BANG POTS AND PANS
TOGETHER TO SHOW THEIR SUPPORT
FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL,
HARDWORKING ESSENTIAL WORKERS.”
Annie watches people on her street bang
pots and pans.
She says, “AH. OH.”
(Laughing)
Dr. Cheddar adds,
“SO, WHY NOT GO OUT AND
MAKE A LITTLE NOISE, HMM?”
Annie bangs a pot. A man in hospital
scrubs joins her.
She says, “AH.”
(Banging)
(Dr. Cheddar chuckling)
(Annie laughing)
(Banging)
Annie says, “AH!”
(Laughing)
Dr. Cheddar says,
“UNTIL NEXT TIME,
THIS IS DR. CHEDDAR
HOPING YOU FEEL BETTER,
AND WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN
SOON RIGHT HERE ON TVOKIDS!”
(laughing, banging)
Dr. Cheddar bangs a pot.
Dr. Cheddar winks.
(Kids cheering)
Text reads “Dr. Cheddar”.
Kristy says,
“I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
THAT EPISODE,
WHERE DR. CHEDDAR TOLD US
ALL ABOUT ESSENTIAL WORKERS.
I'M GOING TO
BE CHALLENGING YOU
TO WRITE YOUR
OWN PIECE OF WRITING
AND GO BACK
AND REVISE IT,
ALL ABOUT A
COMMUNITY WORKER.
SO YOU'RE GOING TO
THINK ABOUT SOMEBODY
WHO WORKS IN
YOUR COMMUNITY,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO WRITE A
LITTLE STORY ABOUT THEM
AND WHAT THEY DO
AND WHAT KIND OF THINGS THEY
DO TO HELP OUR COMMUNITY.
SO, YOU COULD CHOOSE ONE OF
THE ESSENTIAL WORKERS,
LIKE DR. CHEDDAR
TOLD US ABOUT,
LIKE DOCTORS
AND NURSES
OR PSWS OR
POLICE OFFICERS
OR PEOPLE WHO WORK IN GROCERY
STORES OR HARDWARE STORES.
YOU CAN THINK ABOUT ALL
DIFFERENT JOBS.
FIREFIGHTERS, PEOPLE WHO
WORK IN OUR TOWN.
YOU COULD THINK
ABOUT JOBS
THAT YOUR PARENTS DO OR
FAMILY MEMBERS DO,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO
PICK ONE OF THOSE JOBS.
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO WRITE ABOUT IT.
ONCE YOU'VE
WRITTEN ABOUT IT,
YOU'RE GOING TO THINK ABOUT
REVISING YOUR FIRST DRAFT
TO MAKE IT
EVEN BETTER.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, WE TALKED
EARLIER
ABOUT THE THINGS WE NEED
TO DO WHEN WE REVISE.
SO, THE FIRST THING
WE NEED TO DO IS,
WE'RE GOING TO
READ IT
OUT LOUD,
BECAUSE WHEN WE
READ IT OUT LOUD,
WE NOTICE THINGS WE MIGHT NOT
NOTICE WHEN WE READ IT ON PAPER.
EVEN AS A GROWN-UP,
I DO THIS.
WHENEVER I READ OVER MY
REPORT CARDS FOR MY STUDENTS,
I ALWAYS READ THEM
OUT LOUD,
BECAUSE IT HELPS ME
NOTICE THINGS
I MIGHT NOT HAVE
NOTICED OTHERWISE.
WHEN WE READ IT
OUT LOUD,
WE'RE GOING
TO ASK OURSELVES,
"DOES IT
MAKE SENSE?"
AND IF THE
ANSWER IS NO,
WE BETTER GO BACK AND FIX IT
UP SO IT DOES MAKE SENSE.
SO, THAT'S OUR
VERY FIRST THING
WE'RE GOING TO ASK
OURSELVES WHEN WE REVISE.
WE'RE GOING TO READ IT OUT
LOUD AND ASK OURSELVES,
"DOES IT
MAKE SENSE?"
THE NEXT THING WE'RE
GOING TO DO IS,
WE'RE GOING TO
CHANGE BORING WORDS.”
Kristy writes on a large piece of paper
with a purple marker.
She adds,
“CHANGE BORING WORDS.
SO, THINK ABOUT THAT
WORD GRAVEYARD.
DO YOU HAVE
ANY WORDS IN THERE,
LIKE "NICE"
OR "BIG,"
THAT ARE THOSE BORING WORDS
THAT WE USE OVER AND OVER AGAIN?
IF YOU DO, YOU MIGHT
WANT TO CHANGE THEM UP,
AND WE MIGHT
ALSO WANT
TO ADD ADJECTIVES.
SO, DO YOU HAVE
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS IN THERE?
WE WORKED ON HOW
WE CAN ADD ADJECTIVES
TO OUR SENTENCES TO MAKE
THEM MORE INTERESTING.
SO, IS THERE ANYWHERE YOU
CAN ADD SOME ADJECTIVES
TO MAKE YOUR WRITING POP OUT
AND MAKE YOUR READER REALLY BE
ABLE TO SEE AND IMAGINE
WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT?”
Kristy continues,
“THE NEXT THING
WE NEED TO REMEMBER--
I'M DROPPING MY
MARKERS--
IS TO...
STAY
ON TOPIC.
IF YOU ARE WRITING ALL
ABOUT A FIREFIGHTER,
YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE
ALL OF YOUR DETAILS
ARE IMPORTANT ABOUT
A FIREFIGHTER.
IF I'M TELLING ALL
ABOUT WHY FIREFIGHTERS
ARE IMPORTANT
COMMUNITY WORKERS
AND I START TELLING
ABOUT THE TIME
THAT I HAD A CAMPFIRE AND
I ROASTED MARSHMALLOWS,
THAT'S NOT
REALLY ON TOPIC
FOR COMMUNITY WORKERS,
FIREFIGHTERS.
IT'S A
STORY ABOUT FIRE,
SO IT'S SOMETHING IT
REMINDED ME OF,
BUT IF MY TOPIC
IS WHY FIREFIGHTERS ARE
IMPORTANT COMMUNITY WORKERS,
I HAVE TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING IN MY DESCRIPTION
FITS THAT
AND STAYS ON TOPIC
AND MAKE SURE IT MAKES
SENSE WITH MY STORY.”
Kristy goes on to says,
“THE LAST THING I'M GOING
TO REMEMBER TO DO IS,
I'M GOING TO INCLUDE
A TITLE ABOUT...
MY TOPIC.
THAT'S NOT MY
TIDIEST WRITING.
I'M GLAD IT'S
NOT A GOOD COPY.
SO, I'M GOING TO INCLUDE A
TITLE ABOUT MY TOPIC.
SO IF MY TOPIC
IS FIREFIGHTERS,
MY TITLE IS
NOT GOING TO BE
"THE TIME I WENT CAMPING AND
MADE MARSHMALLOWS."
MY TITLE MIGHT BE
"FIREFIGHTERS ARE THE BEST."
SO, I WANT MY TOPIC
TO MAKE SURE--
OR MY TITLE TO
MAKE SURE
THAT IT FITS MY TOPIC
I'M TELLING ABOUT.
SO, YOU ARE GOING TO
PICK A COMMUNITY WORKER
WHO YOU WANT
TO TELL ALL ABOUT.
IT COULD BE ONE OF
THE ESSENTIAL WORKERS
THAT DR. CHEDDAR
TOLD US ABOUT,
OR IT COULD
BE SOMEBODY ELSE
WHO WORKS IN
YOUR COMMUNITY.
YOU'RE GOING TO
WRITE A LITTLE STORY
ABOUT THOSE
COMMUNITY WORKERS
TO TELL ABOUT WHY THEY'RE
IMPORTANT AND WHAT THEY DO.
ONCE YOU'RE
FINISHED,
THIS IS WHERE THE
IMPORTANT WORK STARTS,
AND WE REVISE.
YOU WILL READ YOUR STORY OUT
LOUD TO YOURSELF AND ASK,
"DOES IT
MAKE SENSE?"
IF THE ANSWER
IS NO,
THEN YOU NEED TO GO BACK
AND FIX SOME OF THOSE SENTENCES
OR ADD SOME DETAILS SO THAT
YOUR STORY MAKES SENSE.
YOUR NEXT THING
YOU'RE GOING TO DO
IS CHANGE
ANY BORING WORDS.
THINK ABOUT
THAT WORD GRAVEYARD.
IF THEY'RE NOT
VERY INTERESTING,
LET'S MIX IT UP AND MAKE
YOUR WRITING MORE VIBRANT.
THE NEXT THING YOU
WANT TO LOOK FOR IS,
CAN YOU
ADD ADJECTIVES?
HAVE YOU ACTUALLY DESCRIBED
THE NOUNS IN THIS STORY,
PEOPLE, PLACES,
AND THINGS?
CAN YOU ADD A LITTLE
MORE DESCRIPTION
SO YOUR READER CAN
VISUALIZE?”
Kristy says,
“SO, ONCE YOU'VE
CHECKED OVER YOUR LIST
AND YOU'VE ADDED YOUR
INTERESTING ADJECTIVES,
YOU NEED
TO MAKE SURE:
DID YOU STAY
ON TOPIC?
DID YOU INCLUDE A TITLE
ABOUT YOUR TOPIC THAT FITS?
SO, CHOOSE YOUR
COMMUNITY WORKER,
TELL ABOUT THEM,
AND WHEN YOU'RE
FINISHED,
THINK ABOUT OUR THREE
STARS AND A WISH STRATEGY
WHEN YOU
READ IT OVER.
SO, WHAT
ARE THREE THINGS
YOU REALLY LIKE ABOUT YOUR
PIECE OF WRITING?
AND WHAT'S ONE THING YOU WISH
YOU HAD DONE DIFFERENTLY
OR YOU WISH YOU
COULD CHANGE?
WHATEVER YOUR
WISH IS,
THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO GO
BACK AND FIX THAT UP
AND ADD MORE
TO YOUR STORY.
IT'S A REALLY IMPORTANT
PART OF REVISION.
REMEMBER, YOU CAN
REVISE MORE THAN ONCE.
ONCE YOU'VE MADE
SOME CHANGES,
YOU CAN GO
BACK TO THE TOP
AND READ IT
OUT LOUD AGAIN
AND CHECK
EVERYTHING OVER.
WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE
THIS OUR VERY BEST WORK.”
Kristy adds,
“THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE TODAY
TO JOIN US ON
TVOKIDS
POWER HOUR OF LEARNING
TO LEARN ALL ABOUT HOW
WE REVISE A FIRST DRAFT.
I HOPE YOU LEARNED LOTS OF
NEW STRATEGIES TODAY
FOR MAKING GREAT
WORD CHOICES,
FOR HOW TO MAKE
SURE YOUR SENTENCES
IN YOUR STORIES MAKE SENSE
AND ALL GO TOGETHER,
AND THAT YOU'LL
BE ABLE TO USE THOSE
IN ALL OF YOUR WRITING AT
SCHOOL AND AT HOME.
REMEMBER, PRACTICE
MAKES PERFECT,
SO YOU HAVE TO KEEP
WORKING AT IT,
AND OUR FIRST PIECE OF WRITING
IS NEVER WHERE WE STOP.
WE WANT TO GO BACK AND
KEEP MAKING IT
BETTER AND BETTER.
THANKS AGAIN
FOR JOINING ME TODAY.
I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN ANOTHER
DAY FOR ANOTHER ACTIVITY
ALL ABOUT HOW WE CAN
MAKE OUR WRITING GREAT
ON TVOKIDS POWER HOUR
OF LEARNING.
BYE.”
Text reads, “TVO would like to thank all the
teachers involved in the Power Hour of Learning
at they continue to teach the children of Ontario
from their homes.”
Credits read, “TVO Kids Power Hour of
Learning. TVO.”
TVO KIDS POWER HOUR OF LEARNING.”
Text reads, “Today’s junior lesson, Revising
your first draft”
Kristy begins,
“HI. MY NAME IS
KRISTY,
AND I'M REALLY EXCITED
TO BE HERE WITH YOU TODAY
ON
TVOKIDS POWER HOUR
OF LEARNING
TO TEACH YOU ALL ABOUT HOW
WE REVISE A FIRST DRAFT.
A FIRST DRAFT IS OUR
BEGINNING STEP IN WRITING.
WE BRAINSTORM, AND THEN WE
START TO PUT OUR IDEAS DOWN.
BUT ONCE WE
HAVE OUR IDEAS DOWN,
WE DON'T
STOP THERE.
WE WANT TO GO BACK AND
MAKE SURE IT MAKES SENSE
AND THAT IT'S
INTERESTING
AND IT'S GOING TO CATCH OUR
READERS' ATTENTION.
FOR TODAY'S
ACTIVITY,
YOU SHOULD HAVE A
PENCIL TO WRITE WITH,
MAYBE SOME COLOURS,
AND YOU NEED A NOTEBOOK
OR A PIECE OF PAPER TO
PUT YOUR IDEAS DOWN.
SO, GO GRAB
EVERYTHING YOU NEED,
AND I'LL SEE YOU BACK IN
JUST A FEW MINUTES.”
Kristy’s whiteboard reads,
“Steps of the writing process.
1. Prewrite.
2. Drafting.
3. Revising.
4. Editing.
5. Publishing”
Kristy adds,
“TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO BE
FOCUSING ON REVISION,
AND I HAVE MY WRITING
PROCESS CHART HERE
TO CHECK IN WHAT ALL THE STEPS
IN THE WRITING PROCESS ARE.
REVISION IS ONE OF THE FIVE
STEPS IN THE WRITING PROCESS.
THE FIRST STEP IS
OUR PREWRITING STEP,
AND THAT'S WHERE WE
GATHER OUR IDEAS.
SO, THAT CAN BE COMPLETING
A GRAPHIC ORGANIZER,
BRAINSTORMING,
TALKING TO A FRIEND.
THERE'S LOTS OF WAYS WE
CAN THINK OF IDEAS
OF WHAT WE'RE GOING
TO WRITE ABOUT.
OUR NEXT STEP IS
DRAFTING.
THAT'S WHERE
WE TAKE THOSE IDEAS
AND WE PUT THEM INTO SENTENCES
OR PARAGRAPHS OR A POEM,
DEPENDING ON WHAT
WE'RE WRITING.
OUR NEXT STEP IS
REVISING,
AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE
GOING TO FOCUS ON TODAY.
I HAVE A LITTLE
PICTURE OF A BAND-AID,
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE
WE'RE FIXING UP
ANY PARTS OF OUR STORY THAT
AREN'T QUITE RIGHT
OR ARE HURT OR SOMETHING
THAT'S NOT WORKING.
SOMETIMES, PEOPLE MIX UP
REVISING AND EDITING.
EDITING IS WHEN WE
FIX SPELLING
AND PUNCTUATION AND
THINGS LIKE THAT.
REVISING IS WHEN WE
ACTUALLY GO IN
AND CHANGE PARTS
OF OUR STORY.
AND THEN FINALLY,
WE'VE GOT THE
PUBLISHING STEP,
WHEN WE TAKE SOMETHING AND WE
TURN IT INTO OUR VERY BEST WORK
IF IT'S SOMETHING WE WANT
TO SAVE OR MAKE EVEN BETTER.”
Kristy continues,
“WITH REVISING,
THAT'S WHEN WE'RE GOING TO
GO OVER OUR PIECE OF WRITING
AND WE'RE GOING TO ASK
OURSELVES QUESTIONS,
LIKE, "DOES IT
MAKE SENSE?"
SO, WE MIGHT READ IT
OUT LOUD TO OURSELVES.
WE'RE GOING
TO ASK OURSELVES,
"COULD I MAKE THIS MORE
INTERESTING?"
SO, WE MIGHT LOOK AT
THE WORDS WE'VE CHOSEN
AND START TO PICK
BETTER WORDS.
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE
SURE IT'S ALL ON TOPIC.
SO, IF I'M WRITING
A STORY ABOUT MY DOG,
HAVE I INCLUDED DETAILS
THAT AREN'T ABOUT MY DOG?
THOSE ARE THE KIND OF THINGS
THAT MAKE OUR STORY FLOW
AND MAKE IT INTERESTING
FOR OUR READER
AND GRAB THEIR
ATTENTION.
SO, REVISION IS WHEN WE ACTUALLY
CHANGE THE SHAPE OF OUR STORY.
EDITING IS JUST
WHEN WE GO IN
AND WE FIX THE LITTLE
BITS AND PIECES,
LIKE OUR SPELLING,
OUR PUNCTUATION,
BUT REVISION, WE ACTUALLY
CHANGE OUR STORY.”
Kristy adds,
“SOMETIMES,
I'VE HAD ACTIVITIES
WHERE I'VE ACTUALLY
HAD MY STUDENTS
LOOK AT HOW THEY MIGHT CHANGE
THE ORDER OF THEIR STORY
BY CUTTING THEIR STORY
INTO PIECES
AND CHANGING
AROUND THE ORDER
TO SEE IF IT'S
GOING TO MAKE SENSE
AND IF IT'S GOING
TO FLOW BETTER.
REVISION IS A SUPER-IMPORTANT
STEP OF WRITING.
THIS IS WHAT TURNS
YOUR DRAFT--
JUST YOU PUTTING
YOUR IDEAS ON PAPER--
INTO AN ACTUAL PIECE OF WRITING
THAT MAKES SENSE AND FLOWS.
WE'VE GOT A REALLY SILLY VIDEO
WE'RE GOING TO WATCH TODAY.
IT'S ALL ABOUT
TUMBLEWEED,
AND HE IS GOING TO HAND
IN A STORY TO HIS EDITOR.
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS
IF HE DOES
NOT REVISE HIS WORK
AND WHAT THE PROBLEM WITH
NOT REVISING IS.
SO, I WANT YOU TO
THINK ABOUT,
WHAT DO YOU THINK SOME OF
THE PROBLEMS WILL BE
IF YOU JUST WRITE A DRAFT
AND, WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT,
YOU GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY
ELSE TO READ OVER.
WHAT MIGHT GO WRONG?
SO, MAKE A FEW
PREDICTIONS.
WE'RE GOING TO WATCH
AN EPISODE OF
TUMBLETOWN,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO COME
BACK AND SHARE OUR IDEAS
AND TRY A LITTLE BIT
OF REVISION OURSELVES.
SO, ENJOY
THIS EPISODE,
AND I'LL SEE YOU BACK IN
JUST A FEW MINUTES.”
A male announcer says, “Tumbleweed
presents.”
A hamster reads a book.
The announcer continues,
“Tumbletown reads”.
Lights glow inside the Tumbletown
Gazette building.
A book opens to a page that reads,
“Today’s Tale, Word Up!”
A male voice says,
“AH, MY SHOULDERS.”
Tumbleweed the hamster says,
“OKAY, GUYS. KEEP IT DOWN.
I CAN'T WORK
WITH EVERYBODY TALKING!”
The first male replies,
“UH, OKAY.”
Tumbleweed continues,
“UH, ALRIGHT.
WHERE WAS I? UM...
"WHICH IS WHY THIS
REPORTER ALWAYS SAYS..."
Text on a computer screen reads,
“A dirt bike does not make the best
Mother’s Day present.”
Tumbleweed adds,
“AND I'M DONE,
AND I'VE
FINISHED EARLY!
AH. WELL, I JUST, UH, SUBMIT
THIS STORY TO THE EDITOR.”
(Beeping and Printing noises)
Tumbleweed says,
“LET'S SEE HERE.
I PRINT IT OUT AND PUT
IT IN THE EDITOR'S INBOX,
AND I HAVE THE REST
OF THE DAY OFF.”
(Laughing)
Tumbleweed drives past
mountains.
He sings,
“BAH BAH BAH
BAH BAH BAH
BAH BAH,
BAH BAH BAH.”
Tumbleweed sits on a beach.
He says,
“OH, NOTHING COULD
INTERRUPT THIS PERFECT--”
(Phone ringing)
Tumbleweed’s phone reads,
Incoming call, Editor”
Tumbleweed says, “OH.”
(Beeping)
Tumbleweed answers,
“HELLO?”
The Editor asks,
“TUMBLEWEED, WHERE ARE YOU?”
(Hesitantly)
Tumbleweed replies,
“I'M AT MY DESK, WORKING.”
The Editor says,
“I NEED YOU BACK HERE!
YOU MUST REVISE YOUR STORY
BEFORE WE CAN PRINT IT!”
Tumbleweed responds,
“UM, OKAY.
I'LL COME BACK TO
THE OFFICE.”
Tumbleweed drives past
the mountains.
(Sadly)
He sings,
“BAH BAH BAH
BAH BAH BAH BAH”
Tumbleweed looks at a computer
screen in the Tumbletown
Gazette office.
He says,
“OH, LOOK AT THIS.
THE BOSS WAS RIGHT!
THIS IS A MESS!
I SAID I WAS GOING
TO THE STORE,
BUT NOT THAT
"TOO." THIS "TO."
AND I WASN'T
HOPPING TO FIND.
I WAS HOPING
TO FIND, AND--
OH, THAT'S
THE WRONG "WHICH."
IT'S SPELLED
LIKE THIS.”
Tumbleweed drives past the
mountain again.
He sings, “I GO BACK
BACK TO THE BEACH
I'M GOING
TO THE BEACH”
Tumbleweed sits under an
umbrella on the beach.
He says,
“OKAY. HERE I AM AT THE
BEACH. WHERE WAS I?
OH, YES. NOTHING COULD--”
(Phone ringing)
Tumbleweed says, “OH.”
(Beeping)
The Editor asks,
“TUMBLEWEED, WHY AREN'T YOU
AT YOUR DESK?”
Tumbleweed replies,
“I WAS-- I'M AT A BEACH?”
The Editor adds,
“OH! TUMBLEWEED, I ASKED
YOU TO REVISE YOUR STORY.
NOW, GET BACK HERE!”
Tumbleweed says,
“BUT I JUST--”
The Editor replies,
“NO.”
Tumbleweed adds,
“BUT I--”
The Editor says,
“NO.”
The Editor hangs up.
Tumbleweed responds,
“HELLO?
(Beeping)
(Tumbleweed groaning)
A white hamster on the beach says,
“FUZZY FACE, I CAN'T RELAX
WHILE YOU'RE TALKING
ON THE PHONE!”
Tumbleweed replies,
“BUT IT WAS BUSINESS!”
The white hamster asks,
”WHY YOU BRING YOUR CELLPHONE
TO THE BEACH?”
Tumbleweed answers,
“I HAD TO!”
The white hamster responds,
“NO, YOU DON'T!”
Tumbleweed drives past the mountains.
He sings,
“AND I'M GOING TO
THE OFFICE
AND I DO NOT
KNOW WHY”
Tumbleweed sits at his desk at the
Tumbletown Gazette.
Tumbleweed says,
“OH. WAIT A MINUTE.
THE BOSS
WAS RIGHT AGAIN.
THIS SENTENCE HERE DOESN'T MAKE
A WHOLE LOT OF SENSE.
"THE SALESPERSON'S..."
AND LOOK. I USED "GOOD"
THERE, "GOOD" THERE.
I USED "GOOD"
THREE TIMES.
OKAY. OUR TERM IS
"AWESOME."
(Tumbleweed speaking unclearly)
The Editor says,
“MUCH BETTER, TUMBLEWEED.
NOW, ONE MORE REVISION
AND YOU'RE DONE.”
Tumbleweed replies,
“WHAT? I DON'T
UNDERSTAND.
I FINISHED THE STORY
TWO HOURS AGO!”
(Eating nosily)
The Editor states,
“WHAT YOU DID, TUMBLEWEED,
WAS A FIRST DRAFT.
IT WAS GOOD, BUT
A FIRST DRAFT
ALWAYS NEEDS REVISIONS
BEFORE IT'S RIGHT.”
Tumbleweed replies,
“OH, LIKE WHEN I
FIXED THE SPELLING--”
The Editor says, “YES!”
Tumbleweed continues,
“--AND IMPROVED THE WRITING.”
The Editor responds,
“EXACTLY! ONCE YOU
FINISH A STORY,
YOU NEED TO REREAD IT AND FIX
IT UNTIL IT'S CORRECT!”
Tumbleweed says,
“LIKE I JUST DID!”
The Editor adds,
“YES. SO, ONE
MORE REVISION,
AND YOU'RE DONE.”
Tumbleweed says, “OKAY.”
The Editor asks,
“DID YOU LEAVE LETTUCE
IN MY OFFICE?”
(Tumbleweed singing gibberish)
A hairless hamster says,
“WHOA. KEEP IT DOWN.”
Tumbleweed replies, “SORRY.”
(Quietly singing gibberish)
The Editor says,
“OH, MUCH BETTER, TUMBLEWEED.
I THINK IT'S READY TO GO!”
(Gasping)
The Editor adds, “AND IT'S ONLY
A QUARTER PAST FOUR.
LITTLE EARLY
TO LEAVE.
OOH, I KNOW. WE
CAN RE-ALPHABETIZE
THE FILING
CABINETS! OOH.”
Tumbleweed responds,
“YEAH. WE COULD DO THAT. OR…”
Tumbleweed, the Editor, and the
white-haired hamster surf.
They shout, “YEAH!
WHOO! WHOO-HOO!”
(Laughing)
The Editor says, “OH, THIS IS
GOING SWIMMINGLY!”
The white-haired hamster adds,
“HEY, FUZZY FACE, WATCH
MY HAIR BLOW IN THE BREEZE!”
“Tumbleweed replies,
“OKAY! HANG FIVE,
SEA CAPTAIN!”
The Sea Captain asks,
“HOW MANY IS FIVE?”
Tumbleweed answers,
“I THINK IT MIGHT BE ONE PAW.”
The Sea Captain responds,
“OH, OKAY! HERE'S FIVE!”
(Tumbleweed and the Sea Captain cheer)
Text reads, “The End. TVO Kids.”
A picture of a cartoon duck lays on
Kristy’s desk.
Kristy says, “ONE OF THE REALLY IMPORTANT
THINGS WE NEED TO THINK ABOUT
WHEN WE'RE REVISING A DRAFT
IS ADDING MORE DETAILS.
A LOT OF THE TIME WHEN
WE WRITE FOR THE FIRST TIME,
WE WRITE SOMETHING
PRETTY SIMPLE,
AND IT'S NOT REALLY MUCH
OF A STORY FOR OUR READER.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO SEE
A LITTLE STORY RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS A STORY THAT
DOESN'T HAVE WORDS, THOUGH.
THIS IS A STORY THAT'S
TOLD IN PICTURES.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, HERE'S
MY FIRST PICTURE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT'S THE STORY
THAT'S HAPPENING HERE?
I SEE A HEAD.
I THINK IT IS
PROBABLY A DUCK.
I CAN'T
TELL WHERE IT IS.
I CAN'T TELL ANYTHING ABOUT
WHAT IT'S DOING.
I CAN'T REALLY
TELL WHAT IT'S THINKING.
THIS IS NOT
MUCH OF A STORY.
THIS IS LIKE IF I WERE
TO WRITE A STORY FOR YOU
AND I WROTE
THE SENTENCE,
"I SAW A DUCK."
YOU WOULD HAVE
A LOT OF QUESTIONS,
AND YOU WOULD PROBABLY NOT FIND
THAT STORY VERY INTERESTING,
BECAUSE THERE'S
NOT MUCH GOING ON.”
Kristy adds,
“SO, WHEN WE REVISE AND
WE ADD MORE DETAILS,
WE CAN START TO MAKE
OUR STORY MORE INTERESTING.
SO, LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT MY SECOND PICTURE HERE.”
A picture shows the duck floating on water.
Kristy says,
“SO, NOW, MY
STORY HAS
SOME MORE
DETAIL TO IT.
WE'VE BACKED UP,
AND WE'VE ADDED
A LITTLE BIT MORE.
SO, MY STORY
NOW HAS MY DUCK.
I SEE SOME
MOVEMENT LINES,
SO IT LOOKS LIKE THAT DUCK
IS PROBABLY SWIMMING.
I CAN SEE THAT
THE DUCK IS ON WATER.
I CAN SEE THAT THE
DUCK IS OUTSIDE,
AND IT LOOKS LIKE A
PRETTY NICE DAY OUTSIDE.
SO, THAT'S THE SKY
I CAN SEE.
SO, NOW, IF
I THOUGHT
ABOUT IF THIS WAS
A STORY I WROTE DOWN,
NOW, I COULD SAY,
"I SAW A DUCK
SWIMMING ON THE WATER.
IT WAS A REALLY
NICE DAY.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, NOW, I TOOK MY STORY OF
JUST "I SAW A DUCK."
AND NOW, I'M STARTING TO
ADD SOME MORE DETAILS TO IT
AND MAKE IT MORE
INTERESTING FOR MY READER.
SO, THIS
WOULD BE GOING
FROM MY FIRST DRAFT
TO MY FIRST REVISION,
BUT WHEN WE REVISE,
WE DON'T ALWAYS
HAVE TO STOP THERE,
BECAUSE I BET I COULD MAKE MY
DUCK STORY EVEN BETTER.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT
OUR THIRD PICTURE.”
A picture shows the duck swimming
in a pond as kids play in a
playground nearby.
Kristy says,
“WE HER WE HAVE OUR DUCK
SWIMMING
ON THE WATER.
IT'S STILL A NICE
DAY OUTSIDE,
BUT NOW, I HAVE
SO MUCH MORE DETAIL.
I CAN SEE
THAT THERE'S A PARK.
I CAN SEE
THAT THERE'S A KID.
I CAN SEE THAT THIS IS
PROBABLY A POND,
BECAUSE IT LOOKS PRETTY
SMALL IN THE PARK.
HERE, THE DUCK COULD
HAVE BEEN
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
OCEAN BY HIMSELF,
BUT NOW, I HAVE
SOME MORE DETAIL.
I CAN SEE THAT THERE'S
A CITY IN THE BACKGROUND.
I CAN SEE A TREE AND
SOME GRASS.
MAYBE I CAN EVEN MAKE A GUESS
AT WHAT THE DUCK IS LOOKING AT.”
Kristy adds, “IF THIS WERE
MY WRITTEN STORY,
NOW, INSTEAD OF
HAVING ONE SENTENCE...
"I SAW A DUCK,"
I COULD TURN THIS INTO
A WHOLE PARAGRAPH.
SO, I COULD SAY,
"I SAW A DUCK
THAT WAS SWIMMING
IN A POND AT THE PARK.
AT THE PARK, THERE WAS
A PLAYGROUND,
AND THERE WERE
SOME KIDS PLAYING.
AND THEY WERE
HAVING SO MUCH FUN.
IT WAS A REALLY
BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE."
SO, BY ADDING MORE
DETAIL,
I HAVE A MUCH
MORE INTERESTING STORY.
IF I'M LOOKING AT
A PICTURE,
JUST THE SAME AS IF I'M
READING A STORY,
I WANT YOU
TO THINK ABOUT,
WHICH ONE WOULD YOU
RATHER TAKE A LOOK AT?”
Kristy continues, “WOULD YOU
RATHER LOOK
AT THIS PICTURE
OF JUST A DUCK'S HEAD?
OR WOULD YOU RATHER LOOK AT
THIS PICTURE THAT HAS
ALL OF THESE DETAILS AND ALL
OF THIS EXTRA INFORMATION?
FOR ME, I FIND THIS
MUCH MORE INTERESTING.
WHEN I LOOKED
AT THE DUCK'S HEAD,
I SAW IT,
AND THAT WAS IT.
WHEN I LOOK AT THIS PICTURE,
I'M LOOKING ALL AROUND
AT ALL OF
THE EXTRA DETAILS
AND ALL OF THE INTERESTING
THINGS THERE ARE TO SEE.
THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN
WE REVISE OUR STORY.
WE DON'T WANT TO TELL A
STORY THAT'S A DUCK'S HEAD.
WE WANT TO
TELL A STORY
THAT'S A WHOLE STORY ABOUT
WHAT'S GOING ON FOR THE DUCK.
THAT'S HOW WE MAKE IT
INTERESTING FOR OUR READER
AND HOW WE GRAB THEIR
ATTENTION WHEN WE REVISE.”
Kristy’s whiteboard reads, “Nouns,
person, place, or thing. Verbs, action
words. Adjectives, descriptive words
for nouns.
Kristy says,
”WE'RE GOING TO TAKE
A LOOK AT A CHART
THAT TALKS ABOUT SOME OF THE
DIFFERENT TYPES OF WORDS
WE USE IN OUR WRITING.
THESE ARE CALLED
THE PARTS OF SPEECH.
THE THREE WE'RE GOING
TO FOCUS ON TODAY
ARE NOUNS, VERBS,
AND ADJECTIVES.
NOUNS ARE THE WORDS
THAT DESCRIBE PEOPLE,
PLACES, OR THINGS.
SO A NOUN
MIGHT BE A HAT
OR A CAR OR THE ZOO
OR YOUR MOM.
ALL OF THOSE ARE PEOPLE,
PLACES, OR THINGS.
THERE ARE SOME SPECIAL KINDS OF
NOUNS CALLED PROPER NOUNS
THAT DESCRIBE
ONE OF SOMETHING.
SO, FOR EXAMPLE,
ALL TEACHERS ARE
TEACHERS,
BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE MISS
TATE-ANGEL. THAT'S ME.
SO, PROPER NOUNS
GET CAPITALS,
LIKE OUR NAMES.
NAMES GET CAPITALS,
NAMES OF
SPECIAL PLACES.
THERE'S LOTS OF
CITIES IN THE WORLD,
BUT THERE'S
ONLY ONE OTTAWA,
SO OTTAWA GETS
AN UPPERCASE LETTER.
THOSE ARE
PROPER NOUNS.
SO, THEY'RE SPECIAL TYPES
OF PEOPLE, PLACES, AND THINGS.”
Kristy continues,
“THE WORDS WE USE IN OUR
WRITING THAT DESCRIBE ACTIONS
ARE CALLED VERBS.
SO, VERBS DESCRIBE ANYTHING
WE CAN DO.
I THINK OF THEM AS ANY WORDS YOU
CAN REALLY ADD "ING" TO.
SO, I CAN RUN.
I CAN WALK.
I CAN READ. I CAN DRIVE.
I CAN GARDEN.
I CAN JUMP.
I CAN WRITE.
I CAN WATCH THINGS.
ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE ACTION
WORDS WE USE IN OUR STORY.”
Kristy adds,
“FINALLY, THERE ARE
ADJECTIVES,
AND WE'RE GOING TO FOCUS
ON THESE ADJECTIVES TODAY.
ADJECTIVES ARE DESCRIPTIVE
WORDS FOR NOUNS.
SO, THEY ARE
THE WORDS
THAT MAKE SOMETHING
EVEN MORE INTERESTING
AND THAT CAN ADD
EXTRA DETAIL TO IT.
SO, IF I TELL ABOUT,
"I HAVE A CAT,"
WELL, IT'S TRUE,
BUT IT'S NOT
VERY INTERESTING.
AND HOW IS MY CAT DIFFERENT
THAN ANYBODY ELSE'S CAT?
I CAN USE ADJECTIVES TO HELP ME
MAKE MY CAT MORE INTERESTING
OR HELP ME DESCRIBE MY
CAT WITH A LITTLE MORE DETAIL.
SO, I COULD SAY,
"I HAVE A CAT WITH
BROWN AND GREY STRIPES
AND A WHITE BELLY AND
SHARP CLAWS."
SO, I'M USING
THE WORDS
LIKE "WHITE" AND
"GREY," "STRIPED."
ALL OF THOSE
WORDS ARE ONES
THAT HELP DESCRIBE MY CAT
TO GIVE HIM MORE DETAIL
AND TO HELP YOU GET A
CLEARER PICTURE IN YOUR HEAD
OF WHAT
HE LOOKS LIKE.”
Kristy says,
“WHEN I'M WRITING
MY STORIES,
I WANT TO MAKE SURE I USE THESE
ADJECTIVES SO THAT MY READER
CAN REALLY PICTURE IN THEIR HEAD
WHAT I'M TELLING ABOUT.
I WANT THEM TO BE
ABLE TO IMAGINE
AND TO BE ABLE TO SEE THE
SAME THING THAT I CAN IMAGINE
AND I CAN SEE IN MY
HEAD WHEN I'M WRITING.
SO, ADJECTIVES JUST MAKE OUR
WRITING MORE INTERESTING.
WE'VE GOT A QUICK EPISODE
OF THE HOMEWORK ZONE
I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU WATCH
THAT IS ALL ABOUT ADJECTIVES,
SO IT'S GOING TO HELP YOU
LEARN A LITTLE BIT MORE
OF THESE KIND OF WORDS
AND HOW WE CAN USE THEM.
AND THEN WE'RE
GOING TO COME BACK,
AND WE'RE GOING TO PRACTISE
ADJECTIVES IN OUR WRITING
TO MAKE IT
MORE DETAILED,
TO MAKE IT MORE
INTERESTING,
AND TO HELP IT GRAB
OUR READERS' ATTENTION.
AND THAT'S A REALLY
IMPORTANT PART OF REVISING,
IS ADDING
WORDS LIKE THAT
TO MAKE OUR WRITING
EVEN BETTER.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, I'D LIKE YOU, IF YOU'VE GOT
YOUR PENCIL AND PAPER--
MAYBE YOU
COULD JOT DOWN
AND WRITE DOWN SOME OF
THE ADJECTIVES YOU HEAR,
SOME OF THOSE
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS
IN THIS EPISODE OF
HOMEWORK ZONE
THAT YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO
USE IN YOUR WRITING.
SO, GRAB YOUR
PENCIL AND PAPER.
I'LL SEE YOU BACK
IN JUST A FEW MINUTES.”
(Many kids talking)
A cartoon teacher wearing a brown
and blue tie says,
“HELLO, CLASS.”
The kids reply, “SHH!”
The teacher continues,
“TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO
LEARN ABOUT ADJECTIVES.
AN ADJECTIVE IS
A DESCRIBING WORD.
UH, FOR EXAMPLE,
YOU COULD SAY I'M
WEARING A TIE,
OR YOU COULD SAY I'M
WEARING A HANDSOME TIE.
"HANDSOME" IS A WORD
THAT DESCRIBES MY TIE.
UH, WHAT'S THAT?
YES, I'M
BEING SERIOUS.
MY GRANDPA MADE
ME THIS TIE,
AND I LOVE MY GRAMPA-LEE
BOO-BA-LEE-BA-LEE-BOO.”
(Chuckling)
The teacher adds, “YOU KNOW WHAT?
UH, LET'S JUST WATCH THE
BOO-BA-LEE-BA-BA-LEE VIDEO.”
(Static hissing)
A video plays on a television screen.
A blue ball with legs sings,
“AN ADJECTIVE
IS THE WAY
TO DESCRIBE WHAT
YOU SAY”
A female raps,
“AN APPLE IS A NOUN.
A NOUN'S A PERSON, PLACE,
OR THING.
PLEASE DON'T MIX UP
THESE THINGS.
SO, NOW, THIS
APPLE IS ROUND.
THIS APPLE IS GREEN.
THIS APPLE
IS DELICIOUS.
THAT APPLE IS MEAN.”
A green apple has an angry face.
The blue ball sings,
“AN ADJECTIVE IS THE WAY
TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SAY”
The female raps,
“YEAH. AN
ADJECTIVE WILL DESCRIBE
MOST ANYTHING AT ALL,
LIKE, "THIS BOOK IS GREAT.
THAT DOG IS SMALL,
AND HERE IS SOME COLD WATER.
AND THERE'S A BLUE LAKE.
HERE'S A BRIGHT LIGHT,
AND THERE'S
A LONG SNAKE."
The blue ball sings,
“AN ADJECTIVE IS THE WAY
TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SAY
AN ADJECTIVE IS THE WAY
TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SAY”
The words small, green, blue, long,
great, mean, delicious, round, cold,
and bright appear in a speech bubble.
The teacher says,
“SO, AN ADJECTIVE IS
A WAY TO DESCRIBE
A PERSON, PLACE,
OR THING.
CAN YOU THINK OF AN EXAMPLE?
UH, YES.
UH, MY HEAD
IS VERY ROUND.
UH, YEAH, ROUND
LIKE-- LIKE A FISHBOWL
OR A PURPLE
BASKETBALL OR--
YOU KNOW WHAT? UH, WHY
DON'T WE GO BACK TO MY TIE?
ANYONE WANT TO
COMMENT ON MY TIE?”
(School bell ringing)
The teacher asks, “ANYONE?”
(Kids laughing)
Credits read, “TVO Kids”
Kristy says,
“I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOYED
THAT HOMEWORK ZONE VIDEO
ALL ABOUT ADDING ADJECTIVES.
I HAVE SOME SENTENCES HERE
THAT ARE PRETTY BORING.
THEY'RE JUST PLAIN
OLD SENTENCES,
AND WE'RE GOING TO WORK TOGETHER
TO ADD SOME ADJECTIVES.
SO, I'M GOING TO
READ THROUGH THE SENTENCE.
SO, WE'VE GOT "THE FIREFIGHTER
PUT OUT THE FIRE."
SO, I HAVE TWO THINGS
I COULD ADD ADJECTIVES.
I HAVE TWO
NOUNS IN HERE.
I HAVE A
FIREFIGHTER.
THAT'S A PERSON, PLACE,
OR THING.
AND I HAVE A FIRE.
THAT'S A PERSON, PLACE,
OR THING.
SO, I COULD ADD A WORD
TO DESCRIBE THE FIREFIGHTER,
AND I COULD ADD A WORD
TO DESCRIBE THE FIRE
THAT MIGHT MAKE MY
SENTENCE MORE INTERESTING.
SO, I'M GOING TO
THINK ABOUT THE FIREFIGHTER.
HOW COULD I
DESCRIBE THE--
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE GOT
A WORD FOR THE FIRE.
I'M GOING TO PUT
IN A LITTLE CARET,
AND A CARET IS THIS
LITTLE ARROW RIGHT HERE.
IT'S AN EDITING
MARK YOU CAN USE,
AND I'M GOING TO ADD
THE WORD "ENORMOUS."
SO, I'M GOING TO IMAGINE
THE FIRE WAS REALLY, REALLY BIG.
IT WAS ENORMOUS.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF THAT FIREFIGHTER IS
PUTTING OUT AN ENORMOUS FIRE,
I THINK THEY MUST BE
REALLY BRAVE.”
Kristy adds,
“SO, LET'S TAKE A
LOOK AT MY SENTENCE.
NOW, I
WOULD RECOPY THIS,
AND I WOULD MAKE
A GOOD COPY.
THIS HAS JUST
MY REVISIONS ON IT.
THIS ISN'T MY PUBLISHED
COPY WITH MY LITTLE CARETS.
BUT LET'S
READ IT OVER.
"THE BRAVE FIREFIGHTER PUT
OUT THE ENORMOUS FIRE."
THAT PAINTS SUCH A BETTER
PICTURE IN MY HEAD.
I CAN REALLY IMAGINE
WHAT'S HAPPENING THERE.
BY ADDING ONLY
TWO WORDS,
I'VE ADDED SO
MUCH DETAIL
BY PUTTING THOSE
ADJECTIVES IN THERE.
LET'S TRY ANOTHER
ONE TOGETHER.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, OUR
NEXT SENTENCE IS,
"THE PARK HAS
SWINGS AND A SLIDE."
SO, WHAT COULD
I DESCRIBE?
I COULD DESCRIBE
THE PARK,
I COULD DESCRIBE
THE SWINGS,
AND I COULD
DESCRIBE THE SLIDE.
LET'S SEE.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M THINKING ABOUT THE
PARK NEAR MY HOUSE,
AND THE PARK NEAR MY
HOUSE HAS A CURLY SLIDE.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE ONES
THAT TWISTS ALONG.
AND THE PARK HAS...
HMM. HOW COULD I
DESCRIBE MY SWINGS?
THE PARK HAS...
HMM. I'LL COME BACK
TO SWINGS. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GOING TO SAY THAT
PARK IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
"THE BEAUTIFUL
PARK HAS..."
HMM. "THE BEAUTIFUL
PARK HAS..."
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M JUST GOING TO TELL
HOW MANY SWINGS THEY HAVE
FOR MORE DETAIL.
"THE BEAUTIFUL PARK HAS FOUR
SWINGS AND A CURLY SLIDE."
I HOPE NOW YOU MIGHT HAVE
A BETTER PICTURE
OF WHAT THE PARK NEAR MY
HOUSE LOOKS LIKE.
IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL,
BECAUSE IT HAS LOTS OF TREES.
I COULD PROBABLY
ADD THAT IN.
"THE BEAUTIFUL PARK HAS FOUR
SWINGS AND A CURLY SLIDE."
AND I THINK YOU CAN PROBABLY
IMAGINE MY PLAY STRUCTURE
A LITTLE BIT BETTER.
SO, THAT'S A WAY
WE CAN ADD ADJECTIVES
TO MAKE OUR SENTENCES EVEN
MORE INTERESTING.”
A mural on a graffiti-covered brick wall
shows a dark-haired man. The dark-haired
man appears.
He says, “YO, WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S GOING ON, MOVERS?
WE'RE GOING TO BE LEARNING
ONE OF THE BOLDEST MOVES EVER.
TIME TO BE A BOSS WITH
THE SHRUG AND CROSS. EH!”
The man waves his arms in the air as
he dances.
He adds,
“TIME TO LEARN ONE
OF MY FAVOURITE DANCES.
IT IS THE SHRUG
AND CROSS.
LET'S START
UP WITH THE HANDS.
HANDS ARE ALWAYS
AT A FIST.
YOU'RE GOING
TO OPEN FRONT,
THEN CLOSE IT BACK,
AND FRONT TO
CROSS IT DOWN.
ONE MORE TIME. FRONT
AND BACK AND FRONT.
COME DOWN AND FRONT
AND BACK AND FRONT
AND DOWN.
YOU'VE SEEN THE HANDS. NOW,
LET'S GO CHECK IN WITH THE FEET.
ALL YOUR FEET ARE DOING
IS LEANING FRONT,
LEANING BACK, LEANING FRONT.
THEN YOU'RE GOING TO
THROW IT DOWN.
AGAIN, ONE, TWO,
A THREE, A FOUR,
AND FIVE, A SIX,
A SEVEN, A EIGHT.
AND THERE
YOU GUYS HAVE IT.
IT IS THE SHRUG
AND CROSS.
MUSIC AND FRIENDS?”
A dark-haired woman and a man
with a backward red baseball
hat dance.
The dark-haired man says,
“FIVE, SIX, SEVEN.
OPEN, CLOSE, OPEN, THROW.
OPEN, CLOSE.
KEEP IT GOING. HA!
COME ON, GUYS!
WHOO!”
A male singer sings,
“DANCE, DANCE, DANCE
WITH ME”
The dark-haired man says,
“GUESS WHAT, GUYS?
YOU JUST
MOVED WITH MICKEY.
SEE YOU!”
Mickey disappears.
Kristy stands beside the whiteboard.
On it is written “Word graveyard. Said,
Nice, Big”
Kristy says,
“I HOPE YOUR BODY
HAS LOTS OF ENERGY
AND YOU ENJOYED THAT
BODY BREAK
AND YOU GOT A CHANCE
TO GET UP AND MOVE AROUND
AND GET
YOUR BRAIN WORKING
SO THAT WE CAN KEEP
WORKING TOGETHER.
A REALLY
GREAT STRATEGY
I'VE USED WITH MY
STUDENTS BEFORE
WHEN WE COME TO
REVISING OUR WORK
AND TRYING TO THINK
OF INTERESTING WORD CHOICE
IS A WORD GRAVEYARD.
I DON'T KNOW I
F YOU'VE EVER USED
ONE OF THESE IN YOUR
CLASSES BEFORE,
BUT SOMETIMES IN
MY CLASS,
I FIND THAT MY STUDENTS
USE THE SAME WORDS
OVER AND OVER
AND OVER
AND OVER AGAIN.
AND IT'S NOT VERY INTERESTING
FOR THEM TO WRITE,
AND IT'S NOT
VERY INTERESTING
FOR ME OR FOR
ANYONE ELSE TO READ.
SO SOMETIMES, WE'LL HAVE TO
MAKE A WORD GRAVEYARD,
AND THAT'S WHERE
WE KILL A WORD
AND WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO
USE THAT WORD ANYMORE.
IT IS DONE.”
Kristy adds,
“SO, WHAT WE NEED
TO DO IS FIND
DIFFERENT WORDS
THAT MEAN THE SAME THING
THAT WE
CAN USE INSTEAD
THAT ARE WAY MORE
EXCITING AND INTERESTING
THAN THESE BORING
OLD WORDS.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO PRACTISE
MAKING A WORD GRAVEYARD TOGETHER
FOR SOME OF THE WORDS THAT
ARE NOT VERY INTERESTING
THAT I SEE IN A LOT
OF MY STUDENTS' WRITING.
SO, WHEN WE WRITE, A LOT
OF THE TIME, WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT THINGS THAT CHARACTERS
ARE SAYING TO EACH OTHER,
AND WHAT I HEAR IN
THE STORY IS,
"MOM SAID,"
"I SAID,"
"HE SAID," "SHE SAID,"
"SAID, SAID,
SAID, SAID, SAID."
AND IT STARTS TO
GET REALLY BORING,
BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME
THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN,
SO WE'RE GOING TO
TAKE THE WORD "SAID"
AND WE'RE GOING TO THINK
OF DIFFERENT THINGS WE CAN USE
INSTEAD OF "SAID."
SO, IF I THINK ABOUT HOW
CHARACTERS CAN TALK IN A STORY,
THEY DON'T ALWAYS
SAY SOMETHING IN EXACTLY--
I'M KIND OF USING
"SAID" NOW--
IN EXACTLY
THE SAME WAY.
SOMETIMES, CHARACTERS
MIGHT YELL,
SO INSTEAD OF "SAID,"
I COULD SAY
SOMEBODY YELLED.
ANOTHER WORD FOR
"YELLED" IF I WANTED TO
IS "SHOUTED."
"SHOUTED."
IF SOMEBODY'S
REALLY EXCITED,
MAYBE THEY EXCLAIMED.
MAYBE SOMEBODY
WAS BEING REALLY QUIET,
AND THEY
WHISPERED A WORD.
ANOTHER WORD FOR
JUST WHEN YOU
SAY SOMETHING PLAIN AND
SIMPLE IS "STATED."
ALL OF THESE ARE WORDS THAT
YOU CAN USE INSTEAD OF "SAID."
NOW, YOU CAN'T--
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE
DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK EVERY TIME.
YOU NEED TO PICK
THE ONE THAT MAKES SENSE.
SO IF YOU HAVE A CHARACTER WHO'S
REALLY, REALLY ANGRY,
YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO
SAY THEY WHISPERED IT.
YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING
TO SAY THEY YELLED
OR SHOUTED
OR EXCLAIMED.
OOH, I'VE GOT ANOTHER
REALLY GOOD ONE FOR "YELLED"
THAT I LIKE.
IT'S "HOLLERED."
Kristy states, “IF YOU FIND YOURSELF
USING A WORD LIKE "SAID"
OVER AND OVER AND
OVER AGAIN IN YOUR WRITING,
YOU MIGHT WANT TO CREATE A
LITTLE WORD GRAVEYARD LIKE THIS
IN YOUR WRITER'S NOTEBOOK
OR IN YOUR JOURNAL
SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE LISTS
OF OTHER WORDS THAT YOU CAN USE
INSTEAD OF THE ONES
YOU FIND YOURSELF REPEATING
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
"SAID" IS A REALLY, REALLY
GOOD EXAMPLE,
BECAUSE WE DO USE THAT IN
OUR WRITING A LOT.
ANOTHER ONE I FIND MY STUDENTS
USE OVER AND OVER AGAIN
IS THE WORD "NICE."
"THAT PERSON
IS NICE."
"THAT FLOWER
IS NICE."
AND "NICE" IS
JUST KIND OF...
IT'S NOT A VERY
INTERESTING WORD,
AND THE OTHER PROBLEM
WITH "NICE" IS,
IT CAN KIND OF MEAN A
LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS,
SO IT'S NOT
VERY SPECIFIC.
BUT IF WE CHOOSE
BETTER WORDS,
WE CAN HELP PAINT
THAT PICTURE FOR OUR READERS
SO THEY CAN SEE
WHAT WE'RE SEEING.
SO, IF I WAS TALKING
ABOUT A PERSON BEING NICE,
I PROBABLY MEAN--
MAYBE I
MEAN THEY'RE KIND.
MAYBE I MEAN
THEY'RE GENEROUS.
THEY GIVE THINGS
TO PEOPLE.
MAYBE FOR A PERSON,
IF I'M TALKING ABOUT
THEM BEING NICE,
MAYBE I MEAN
THEY'RE VERY HELPFUL
AND THEY'RE ALWAYS
THERE TO GIVE A HAND.
SO, SOMEBODY COULD BE
KIND, GENEROUS, HELPFUL.
ALL OF THOSE WORDS ARE
MORE SPECIFIC
AND MORE INTERESTING
THAN "NICE."
THEY GIVE US A
BETTER PICTURE IN OUR HEAD.
LET'S THINK
ABOUT ANOTHER EXAMPLE:
WHEN I SAID, "THAT
FLOWER IS NICE."
WELL, IF I WAS
DESCRIBING A THING,
MAYBE I
MEAN IT'S PRETTY.
MAYBE I MEAN... HMM.
MAYBE
IT'S BEAUTIFUL,
ANOTHER WORD FOR
PRETTY.
"BEAUTIFUL."
WHAT ELSE COULD
I DESCRIBE AS NICE?
MAYBE SOMEBODY WHO'S
NICE IS PLAYFUL,
OR A PET MIGHT
BE PLAYFUL.
ALL OF THESE THINGS
COULD TAKE THE PLACE OF "NICE"
BUT ALSO GIVE ME A
LOT MORE INFORMATION
THAN THE
WORD "NICE" DOES.”
Kristy continues,
“THE LAST WORD I PUT IN
MY WORD GRAVEYARD
IS THE WORD "BIG."
THE WORD "SMALL" CAN
PROBABLY GO HERE, TOO,
BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY
BETTER WORDS WE CAN USE
IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
SOMETHING BEING BIG.
IF I WAS TALKING
SOMETHING BEING BIG,
MAYBE INSTEAD
OF "BIG,"
I WANT TO SAY
IT'S GIANT.
OR MAYBE IT'S
ENORMOUS.
OR MAYBE IT'S HUGE.
OR MAYBE
IT'S GIGANTIC,
WHICH IS A BIT LIKE "GIANT"
BUT STILL DIFFERENT.
"GIGANTIC."
"ENORMOUS." "HUGE."
MAYBE WHEN I'M TALKING
ABOUT IT BEING BIG,
WHAT I REALLY
MEAN IS,
IT'S TALL.
MAYBE IF I'M TALKING
ABOUT SOMEBODY BEING BIG,
MAYBE I'M TALKING ABOUT
THEM BEING GROWN UP.
ALL OF THOSE THINGS COULD BE
USED INSTEAD OF "BIG,"
DEPENDING ON WHAT
MY SENTENCE IS,
AND ALL OF THEM MEAN
SOMETHING A LOT MORE SPECIFIC.”
Kristy goes on,
“A REALLY GREAT
TOOL YOU CAN USE
IF YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE
A WORD GRAVEYARD LIST
OF DIFFERENT WORDS
THAT YOU'D LIKE TO USE
INSTEAD OF ONES YOU USE
IN YOUR WRITING A LOT
IS CALLED
A THESAURUS.
A THESAURUS IS KIND OF
RELATED TO A DICTIONARY.
YOU CAN USE A DICTIONARY
TO SEE HOW TO SPELL WORDS,
BUT A THESAURUS
IS A WORD
WHERE YOU LOOK
UP ONE WORD
AND IT TELLS YOU A WHOLE
BUNCH OF OTHER WORDS
THAT MEAN THE
SAME THING.
AND WHEN WE'RE DOING OUR
REVISION AND WHEN WE'RE WRITING,
A THESAURUS CAN BE
A REALLY USEFUL TOOL
IF WE FIND OURSELVES
USING BORING WORDS
OR USING THE SAME WORDS
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
WE CAN USE A THESAURUS TO
LOOK SOMETHING DIFFERENT UP
AND SEE IF WE
CAN SWAP IT OUT.
SO, IF I FOUND MYSELF SAYING,
"MY FRIEND IS NICE--"
OOH-- I WOULD NOTICE
THAT WORD, "NICE,"
AND I WOULD THINK,
"NICE IS NOT A
SUPER-INTERESTING WORD.
WHAT DO I MEAN BY
'MY FRIEND IS NICE'?"
WELL, IF I MEAN MY FRIEND
ALWAYS TREATS ME WELL,
"MY FRIEND IS KIND" IS A
MUCH BETTER SENTENCE.
IF I MEAN MY FRIEND
ALWAYS GIVES ME A
HAND WHEN I NEED IT,
"MY FRIEND IS HELPFUL"
WOULD BE MORE EXPRESSIVE.
IF I AM TALKING ABOUT
"MY PUPPY GOT BIG,"
MAYBE I MEAN MY PUPPY
IS GROWN UP NOW.
MAYBE IF I'M TALKING
ABOUT MY FRIEND'S
DOG WHO IS A GREAT DANE,
I MIGHT SAY,
"THAT DOG IS HUGE."
JACKSON IS A HUGE DOG
OR AN ENORMOUS DOG,
BECAUSE I'M TALKING
ABOUT SIZE.”
Kristy adds,
“SO, I WANT TO THINK ABOUT
THOSE SPECIFIC WORDS
AND WHAT I
MEAN BY THEM
AND FIND BETTER WORDS IF I
CAN THAT MEAN THE SAME THING.
SO, IF YOU USE THE SAME
WORDS OVER AND OVER AGAIN,
THINK ABOUT MAKING
YOURSELF A WORD GRAVEYARD.”
Text reads “TVO Kids presents”.
Colourful animated letters, W, A, C, K, and Y, jump in a line then form the title “Wacky Word Songs”.
An upbeat song plays:
“IT'S THE WACKY WACKY
NUMBER SONGS.
OH YEAH.”
Text reads, “With Zoey”
Zoey stands in a bedroom. She wears
a yellow t-shirt and a denim jacket.
Zoey says, “HI. HELLO.
GREETINGS. GOOD DAY.
THERE ARE SO MANY
WAYS TO SAY HI.
I LOOKED IT UP IN MY
DICTIONARY AND THESAURUS.
THEY'RE FULL OF SYNONYMS.
THOSE ARE WORDS
THAT MEAN THE SAME THING
OR NEARLY THE
SAME THING.
USING SYNONYMS HELPS ME WRITE
BETTER STORIES AND SONGS.
WHY JUST SING
WHEN I CAN CHANT,
SERENADE, OR
HARMONIZE?
LET'S GO!”
Zoey wears a marching band uniform.
She sings,
“WHEN IT MEANS THE
SAME THING
OR ALMOST THE SAME
IT'S A SYNONYM
SO LET'S
PLAY A GAME
WHEN I SAY, "RABBIT,"
YOU SAY, "BUNNY."
WHEN I SAY, "SILLY,"
YOU SAY, "FUNNY."
SYNONYM! WHEN I SAY,
"FAST," YOU SAY, "QUICK."
WHEN I SAY, "ILL,"
YOU SAY, "SICK."
SYNONYM!
SYNONYMS MAKE
VOCABULARY GROW
THEY'RE SUPER-HELPFUL
WORDS TO KNOW
WHEN I SAY, "ANGRY,"
YOU SAY, "MAD."
WHEN I SAY, "HAPPY,"
YOU SAY, "GLAD."
SYNONYM!
SYNONYM!”
Zoey says,
“MY LIST OF SYNONYMS
IS GETTING REALLY BIG,
HUGE, GIGANTIC,
MASSIVE!”
Text reads, “Wacky Word Songs,
TVO Kids. Apartment 11 Productions”
(Kid laughing)
Kristy says,
“I HOPE YOU HAD FUN
WITH THAT EPISODE OF
WACKY WORD SHOW
AND SOME OF THEIR FABULOUS,
FANTASTIC, AND PHENOMENAL WORDS.
I LOVE THE WAY THEY THOUGHT
OF LOTS OF EXCITING WORDS
THAT MEANT THE SAME THING
IN THERE WITH SYNONYMS.
WE'RE GOING TO WORK THROUGH
HOW WE CAN USE
SOME FABULOUS, FANTASTIC,
AND PHENOMENAL WORDS.
WE CAN ADD SOME ADJECTIVES
AND MAKE OUR DRAFT EVEN BETTER.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A LOOK
AT A CHECKLIST
FOR REVISING A DRAFT,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING
TO WORK THROUGH A DRAFT
AND SEE IF WE CAN
MAKE IT EVEN BETTER.”
Kristy adds, “SO, OUR
CHECKLIST IS,
THE FIRST THING WE'RE GOING TO
DO IS READ THE WORK OUT LOUD
TO MAKE SURE
IT MAKES SENSE.
AS WE READ, WE'RE
GOING TO CHANGE WORDS
TO MAKE THE WRITING
MORE INTERESTING,
AND WE MIGHT FIND, LIKE
OUR SENTENCES,
THAT WE WANT TO ADD
SOME ADJECTIVES.
WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THE
WHOLE STORY STAYS ON TOPIC,
AND WE WANT TO INCLUDE
A TITLE TO TELL THE TOPIC.
SO, THE FIRST THING
WE'RE GOING TO DO
IS READ THROUGH
THE STORY.
I'M NOT GOING TO
CHANGE ANYTHING THE FIRST TIME.
I'M GOING TO
READ THROUGH IT,
AND I WANT YOU
TO PAY ATTENTION
FOR THINGS YOU THINK
I NEED TO CHANGE.
SO, YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR
DETECTIVE REVISION EYES ON
AND BE READY TO LOOK
FOR THINGS WE NEED TO CHANGE.
SO, LET'S READ
THROUGH OUR STORY.”
Kristy continues, “OUR STORY IS CALLED
"THE LIBRARY."
"ON TUESDAY, OUR CLASS
WENT TO THE LIBRARY.
WE DID NOT THERE WERE SO
MANY THINGS TO DO."
HMM. "WE COULD
READ BOOKS.
WE COULD
PLAY GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY.
WE COULD LOOK MOVIES
AND VIDEO GAMES.
THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY."
HMM. I DON'T
KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I HEARD A
FEW THINGS
WHEN I READ
THAT OUT LOUD
THAT DID
NOT MAKE SENSE.
SO LET'S
COME BACK THROUGH,
AND LET'S READ IT
ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME
AND SEE WHAT
WE CAN FIX UP.
"ON TUESDAY,
OUR CLASS WENT
TO THE LIBRARY."
WELL, THAT
SOUNDS OKAY.
THAT'S A GOOD START
TO THE STORY.
IT TOLD WHEN THEY
WENT TO THE LIBRARY.
IT TOLD WHO WENT TO
THE LIBRARY.
MAYBE A DETAIL COULD BE
WHAT LIBRARY IT WAS.
FOR EXAMPLE,
IF MY CLASS WENT--
MAYBE I'LL IMAGINE THAT THIS
WAS A TRIP MY CLASS TOOK,
AND WE WOULD SAY,
"TO THE SMITHS FALLS
LIBRARY,"
BECAUSE THAT'S THE
NAME OF THE TOWN
AND THAT'S THE LIBRARY
WE'D HAVE GONE TO VISIT.
SO, I JUST ADDED A
LITTLE BIT MORE DETAIL
TO HELP MY READER
UNDERSTAND.
"WE DID NOT THERE WERE SO
MANY THINGS TO DO."
THAT SENTENCE DOES
NOT MAKE SENSE.
"WE DID NOT
THERE WERE..."
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK IT MEANS,
"WE DID NOT KNOW
THERE WERE SO MANY
THINGS TO DO."
AND WHEN
I READ THIS,
IT SOUNDS LIKE THERE WERE A
LOT OF FUN THINGS TO DO,
OR MAYBE "FUN" IS
A LITTLE--
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT? MAYBE "EXCITING."
THAT SOUNDS
PRETTY EXCITING,
SO I'M GOING TO
ADD HERE
"SO MANY EXCITING
THINGS TO DO."
LET'S CHECK THAT
SENTENCE AND MAKE SURE
IT MAKES SENSE NOW.
"WE DID NOT KNOW THERE WERE SO
MANY EXCITING THINGS TO DO."
THAT MAKES A
LOT MORE SENSE.
"WE COULD
READ BOOKS.
WE COULD
PLAY GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY.
WE COULD LOOK AT MOVIES
AND VIDEO GAMES."
THAT IS REALLY
REPETITIVE.
I NOTICE IT SAYS,
"WE COULD... WE COULD...
WE COULD... WE COULD."
SO, I'M GOING TO TRY
AND CHANGE SOME OF THOSE UP
SO THAT THE SENTENCES
AREN'T STARTING
THE SAME
WAY EVERY TIME.
SO, MAYBE
I WILL SAY--
INSTEAD OF "WE COULD,"
I'M GOING TO SAY,
"WE GOT TO READ..."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KNOW WHEN MY CLASS GOES
TO THE LIBRARY,
THERE'S SO
MANY BOOKS TO READ,
SO I'M GOING TO SAY,
"WE GOT TO READ
LOTS OF BOOKS."
"WE GOT TO
READ LOTS OF BOOKS.
WE COULD
PLAY GAMES."
THAT'S NOT SO BAD NOW THAT I
CHANGED THE "COULD" THERE.
SO, I COULD CHANGE THAT.
"WE GOT TO PLAY--"
YOU KNOW WHAT? I
BET THE GAMES WERE FUN.
I'M GOING TO ADD THAT
DESCRIPTIVE WORD FOR THE GAMES.
"WE COULD PLAY
FUN GAMES."
Kristy adds,
“ONE THING TO KNOW WHEN
I'M PUTTING THE CARETS IN,
THESE HAPPEN TO HAVE
ALL BEEN WRITTEN ON THE TOP,
BUT YOU CAN ALSO
WRITE THEM UNDERNEATH.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
IF YOU WRITE
IT UNDERNEATH,
YOUR CARET JUST GOES UP
INSTEAD OF DOWN.
"WE COULD PLAY
FUN GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY."
LET'S SEE.
INSTEAD OF "WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY,"
HOW COULD I MIX THIS
SENTENCE UP FROM "WE COULD"?
LET'S SEE. I DID
"WE GOT TO..."
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING
TO CHANGE THIS SENTENCE.
I'M GOING TO
CROSS OUT "COULD,"
AND I'M GOING TO SAY, "WE
PLAYED FUN GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY."
SO, "WE GOT TO READ
LOTS OF BOOKS.
WE PLAYED FUN GAMES.
WE COULD
USE TECHNOLOGY."
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING
TO SAY, "WE USED TECHNOLOGY."
Kristy says,
“HMM. THAT WORD,
"TECHNOLOGY,"
COULD MEAN A
LOT OF THINGS.
WHEN WE GOT TO GO
TO THE LIBRARY,
THE TECHNOLOGY WE
GOT TO USE
WERE THE COMPUTERS
AND IPADS.
SO INSTEAD OF
SAYING "TECHNOLOGY,"
EVEN THOUGH THAT'S AN
INTERESTING WORD AND A BIG WORD,
IT'S NOT VERY
SPECIFIC.
I THINK I SHOULD GIVE A
LITTLE MORE DETAIL.
"WE USED..."
I'M GOING TO
CHANGE "TECHNOLOGY"
TO "THE COMPUTERS...
AND IPADS,"
BECAUSE AT
OUR LIBRARY,
THAT'S SOMETHING
WE GET TO USE.
SO, I GOT RID OF
THAT WORD, "COULD,"
SO I'VE GOT SOME DIFFERENT
SENTENCE STARTERS.
"WE COULD LOOK MOVIES
AND VIDEO GAMES."
HMM. I THINK THEY MEAN--
INSTEAD OF "LOOK,"
I THINK THEY MEAN, "WE
COULD WATCH..."
THAT'S A
BETTER WORD,
BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK
AT MOVIES AND VIDEO GAMES,
YOU'RE JUST LOOKING
AT THE CASE.
IF YOU WATCH THEM--
YOU COULD
WATCH MOVIES,
AND YOU CAN PLAY
VIDEO GAMES.
HMM. I'M READING THAT
BACK OVER.
YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH,
I THINK MAKES MORE SENSE?
I'M GOING TO CHANGE
MY REVISION,
BECAUSE WHEN WE WENT
TO THE LIBRARY,
WE COULDN'T ACTUALLY
WATCH THOSE,
BUT WE FOUND OUT
WE COULD SIGN THEM OUT.
SO INSTEAD OF SAYING
WE COULD LOOK OR WATCH
MOVIES AND
VIDEO GAMES,
I'M GOING TO SAY,
"WE COULD SIGN OUT..."
"WE COULD SIGN--"
OH, "OUT" HAS A T.
"WE COULD SIGN OUT
MOVIES AND VIDEO GAMES.
THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY."
HMM. SO, LET ME SEE.
"THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY."
HOW COULD I--
I HAVEN'T REALLY TOLD HOW
I FEEL ABOUT IT,
SO I THINK I'M GOING TO
ADD ANOTHER SENTENCE HERE.
"THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY,
AND I
CAN'T WAIT...
TO GO BACK."
Kristy continues,
“WOW. THIS LOOKS LIKE
A BIT OF A MESS,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHEN YOU REVISE,
THAT HAPPENS,
AND THAT IS OKAY,
BECAUSE
WHEN YOU REVISE,
YOUR PAPER SHOULD GET
REALLY MARKED UP LIKE THIS.
IF YOU'VE DONE A
GOOD JOB REVISING,
YOU'VE MADE A BUNCH OF
REALLY GOOD CHANGES.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO READ
THROUGH IT TOGETHER,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING
TO USE A STRATEGY
CALLED THREE
STARS AND A WISH.
SO, WE'RE GOING TO THINK
ABOUT THREE THINGS WE LIKE
AND THREE THINGS WE WISH WE
HAD DONE DIFFERENTLY
OR WISH
WE COULD ADD.
SO, IT'S A LITTLE BIT
MESSY TO READ,
BUT LET'S LISTEN TO IT AND SEE
IF IT MAKES MORE SENSE.
"THE LIBRARY.
ON TUESDAY, OUR CLASS WENT
TO THE SMITHS FALLS LIBRARY.
WE DID NOT KNOW THERE WERE SO
MANY EXCITING THINGS TO DO.
WE GOT TO
READ LOTS OF BOOKS.
WE PLAYED FUN GAMES.
WE USED THE
COMPUTERS AND IPADS.
WE COULD SIGN OUT
MOVIES AND VIDEO GAMES.
THERE IS LOTS TO DO
AT THE LIBRARY,
AND I CAN'T WAIT
TO GO BACK."
I AM REALLY HAPPY
WITH THOSE REVISIONS.
SO, MY STRATEGY I'M
GOING TO USE
TO LOOK AT MY REVISIONS
AND SEE HOW I'VE DONE
IS CALLED THREE
STARS AND A WISH,
SO I'M GOING TO
DRAW THREE STARS.
AND THEN I'LL WRITE
"WISH" DOWN HERE.
SO, THREE STARS, THREE THINGS I
THINK I'VE DONE REALLY WELL.
I THINK I DID A GOOD JOB
WITH ADJECTIVES.
I ADDED LOTS
OF ADJECTIVES.
I THINK I DID A
GOOD JOB--
I REALLY LIKE
THAT I USED
LOTS OF
SENTENCE STARTERS.
SO, I MADE SURE
MY SENTENCES
DIDN'T START THE SAME
WAY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
ANOTHER STAR:
I ADDED
MORE DETAIL.”
Kristy says, “LET'S SEE.
SO, WHAT'S SOMETHING
THAT I THINK
I COULD STILL
DO BETTER ON? HMM.
SOMETHING I COULD
DO BETTER ON.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I WISH--
AND THIS IS SOMETHING
I'LL WORK ON.
IN THAT LAST
SENTENCE,
I'D REALLY LIKE AN
ADJECTIVE...
AN ADJECTIVE TO
DESCRIBE THE LIBRARY.
THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I
THINK I WOULD REALLY LIKE--
"DESCRIBE
THE LIBRARY."
THAT'S SOMETHING I WOULD
REALLY LIKE TO ADD TO MY STORY.
SO, WHEN YOU'RE
READING OVER YOUR WORK,
THREE STARS AND A WISH
ARE A GREAT STRATEGY
TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU
OR SOMEONE ELSE HAS DONE WELL
AND WHAT'S ONE THING YOU
COULD CHANGE AND ADD.”
Kristy continues, “LET'S DO A
QUICK CHECK.
DID WE READ THE WORK OUT LOUD
TO MAKE SURE IT MADE SENSE?
YEP.
DID WE CHANGE AND
ADD SOME WORDS
TO MAKE THE WRITING
MORE INTERESTING?
YEP.
DID WE STAY
ON TOPIC?
IS IT ALL ABOUT
THE LIBRARY?
YEAH, AND DID WE INCLUDE
A TITLE TO TELL THE TOPIC?
YES, WE DID.
SO, WE WENT THROUGH OUR WHOLE
REVISING A DRAFT CHECKLIST,
AND WE TURNED A BORING STORY
THAT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE
INTO SOMETHING MUCH
MORE INTERESTING.”
A mouse wears a stethoscope around
it’s neck.
A narrator says,
“YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
WITH DR. CHEDDAR!
Text reads, “Dr. Cheddar”.
(Kids cheering)
Dr. Cheddar says,
“WHY, HELLO THERE!
IT'S ME,
DR. CHEDDAR,
HERE TO HELP YOU
FEEL BETTER.
NOW, AS YOU KNOW,
A LOT OF PARENTS
AND CAREGIVERS
ARE STAYING
AT HOME RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE OF
THE COVID-19 VIRUS.
BUT YOU MIGHT BE
WONDERING
WHY YOUR PARENT CONTINUES
TO GO OUT TO WORK,
AND YOU MIGHT THINK,
"OH, IT'S JUST
NOT FAIR! HUMPH!"
A pig sings, “LA LA LA LA LA”
The pig says, “HMM?”
A nurse replies,
“I'M OFF TO WORK, ANNIE.”
Annie responds, “IT'S NOT
FAIR. MOMMY!
Annie’s mom says, “ANNIE.”
(Sighing)
Annie holds onto her mom’s leg as her
mom tries to walk out of their house.
Annie responds, “MOM? MOMMY?”
Annie’s mom says, “ANNIE.”
Annie replies, “MOM?
HMM. DON'T GO, MOMMY.
PLAY WITH ME.”
Annie responds, “ANNIE.”
Dr. Cheddar says,
“WELL, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO LET GO.
THE REASON THEY
ARE GOING TO WORK
IS BECAUSE THEY ARE CONSIDERED
AN ESSENTIAL WORKER.
YOU SEE, ESSENTIAL WORKERS
ARE THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE
PROVIDING SERVICES TO
KEEP THE CITY GOING
AND TO KEEP
YOU AND I SAFE.
ESSENTIAL WORKERS
INCLUDE DOCTORS, NURSES,
GROCERY STORE CLERKS,
POLICE OFFICERS,
FIREFIGHTERS,
TRANSIT OPERATORS,
PHARMACISTS, CHEFS,
MAIL CARRIERS,
AND MANY, MANY
MORE BRAVE PEOPLE
WORKING HARD TO
MAKE PHYSICAL DISTANCING
AS EASY AS POSSIBLE
FOR EVERYONE.”
Annie’s mom walks out her front door.
She says, “BE GOOD, SWEETIE.”
Annie asks, “WON'T THEY GET SICK?”
Dr. Cheddar responds,
“YOU'RE RIGHT TO
BE CONCERNED.
HOWEVER, MANY WORKPLACES
THAT ARE STILL OPEN
HAVE STRICT HEALTH
RULES IN PLACE
TO MAKE SURE ALL THEIR EMPLOYEES
ARE AS PROTECTED AS POSSIBLE
FROM COVID-19.
THEY ARE ALL STILL
PHYSICAL DISTANCING,
WEARING GLOVES
AND MASKS,
AND MAKING SURE THAT THEY
ARE AS SAFE AS CAN BE.
YOU MIGHT ASK,
"WHAT CAN I DO?"
(Clanging)
Dr. Cheddar continues,
“WELL, RIGHT NOW,
AROUND THE WORLD--
--PEOPLE ARE ORGANIZING TIMES
TO STEP OUTSIDE
THEIR HOUSES
AND BANG POTS AND PANS
TOGETHER TO SHOW THEIR SUPPORT
FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL,
HARDWORKING ESSENTIAL WORKERS.”
Annie watches people on her street bang
pots and pans.
She says, “AH. OH.”
(Laughing)
Dr. Cheddar adds,
“SO, WHY NOT GO OUT AND
MAKE A LITTLE NOISE, HMM?”
Annie bangs a pot. A man in hospital
scrubs joins her.
She says, “AH.”
(Banging)
(Dr. Cheddar chuckling)
(Annie laughing)
(Banging)
Annie says, “AH!”
(Laughing)
Dr. Cheddar says,
“UNTIL NEXT TIME,
THIS IS DR. CHEDDAR
HOPING YOU FEEL BETTER,
AND WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN
SOON RIGHT HERE ON TVOKIDS!”
(laughing, banging)
Dr. Cheddar bangs a pot.
Dr. Cheddar winks.
(Kids cheering)
Text reads “Dr. Cheddar”.
Kristy says,
“I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
THAT EPISODE,
WHERE DR. CHEDDAR TOLD US
ALL ABOUT ESSENTIAL WORKERS.
I'M GOING TO
BE CHALLENGING YOU
TO WRITE YOUR
OWN PIECE OF WRITING
AND GO BACK
AND REVISE IT,
ALL ABOUT A
COMMUNITY WORKER.
SO YOU'RE GOING TO
THINK ABOUT SOMEBODY
WHO WORKS IN
YOUR COMMUNITY,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO WRITE A
LITTLE STORY ABOUT THEM
AND WHAT THEY DO
AND WHAT KIND OF THINGS THEY
DO TO HELP OUR COMMUNITY.
SO, YOU COULD CHOOSE ONE OF
THE ESSENTIAL WORKERS,
LIKE DR. CHEDDAR
TOLD US ABOUT,
LIKE DOCTORS
AND NURSES
OR PSWS OR
POLICE OFFICERS
OR PEOPLE WHO WORK IN GROCERY
STORES OR HARDWARE STORES.
YOU CAN THINK ABOUT ALL
DIFFERENT JOBS.
FIREFIGHTERS, PEOPLE WHO
WORK IN OUR TOWN.
YOU COULD THINK
ABOUT JOBS
THAT YOUR PARENTS DO OR
FAMILY MEMBERS DO,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO
PICK ONE OF THOSE JOBS.
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO WRITE ABOUT IT.
ONCE YOU'VE
WRITTEN ABOUT IT,
YOU'RE GOING TO THINK ABOUT
REVISING YOUR FIRST DRAFT
TO MAKE IT
EVEN BETTER.”
Kristy continues,
“SO, WE TALKED
EARLIER
ABOUT THE THINGS WE NEED
TO DO WHEN WE REVISE.
SO, THE FIRST THING
WE NEED TO DO IS,
WE'RE GOING TO
READ IT
OUT LOUD,
BECAUSE WHEN WE
READ IT OUT LOUD,
WE NOTICE THINGS WE MIGHT NOT
NOTICE WHEN WE READ IT ON PAPER.
EVEN AS A GROWN-UP,
I DO THIS.
WHENEVER I READ OVER MY
REPORT CARDS FOR MY STUDENTS,
I ALWAYS READ THEM
OUT LOUD,
BECAUSE IT HELPS ME
NOTICE THINGS
I MIGHT NOT HAVE
NOTICED OTHERWISE.
WHEN WE READ IT
OUT LOUD,
WE'RE GOING
TO ASK OURSELVES,
"DOES IT
MAKE SENSE?"
AND IF THE
ANSWER IS NO,
WE BETTER GO BACK AND FIX IT
UP SO IT DOES MAKE SENSE.
SO, THAT'S OUR
VERY FIRST THING
WE'RE GOING TO ASK
OURSELVES WHEN WE REVISE.
WE'RE GOING TO READ IT OUT
LOUD AND ASK OURSELVES,
"DOES IT
MAKE SENSE?"
THE NEXT THING WE'RE
GOING TO DO IS,
WE'RE GOING TO
CHANGE BORING WORDS.”
Kristy writes on a large piece of paper
with a purple marker.
She adds,
“CHANGE BORING WORDS.
SO, THINK ABOUT THAT
WORD GRAVEYARD.
DO YOU HAVE
ANY WORDS IN THERE,
LIKE "NICE"
OR "BIG,"
THAT ARE THOSE BORING WORDS
THAT WE USE OVER AND OVER AGAIN?
IF YOU DO, YOU MIGHT
WANT TO CHANGE THEM UP,
AND WE MIGHT
ALSO WANT
TO ADD ADJECTIVES.
SO, DO YOU HAVE
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS IN THERE?
WE WORKED ON HOW
WE CAN ADD ADJECTIVES
TO OUR SENTENCES TO MAKE
THEM MORE INTERESTING.
SO, IS THERE ANYWHERE YOU
CAN ADD SOME ADJECTIVES
TO MAKE YOUR WRITING POP OUT
AND MAKE YOUR READER REALLY BE
ABLE TO SEE AND IMAGINE
WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT?”
Kristy continues,
“THE NEXT THING
WE NEED TO REMEMBER--
I'M DROPPING MY
MARKERS--
IS TO...
STAY
ON TOPIC.
IF YOU ARE WRITING ALL
ABOUT A FIREFIGHTER,
YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE
ALL OF YOUR DETAILS
ARE IMPORTANT ABOUT
A FIREFIGHTER.
IF I'M TELLING ALL
ABOUT WHY FIREFIGHTERS
ARE IMPORTANT
COMMUNITY WORKERS
AND I START TELLING
ABOUT THE TIME
THAT I HAD A CAMPFIRE AND
I ROASTED MARSHMALLOWS,
THAT'S NOT
REALLY ON TOPIC
FOR COMMUNITY WORKERS,
FIREFIGHTERS.
IT'S A
STORY ABOUT FIRE,
SO IT'S SOMETHING IT
REMINDED ME OF,
BUT IF MY TOPIC
IS WHY FIREFIGHTERS ARE
IMPORTANT COMMUNITY WORKERS,
I HAVE TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING IN MY DESCRIPTION
FITS THAT
AND STAYS ON TOPIC
AND MAKE SURE IT MAKES
SENSE WITH MY STORY.”
Kristy goes on to says,
“THE LAST THING I'M GOING
TO REMEMBER TO DO IS,
I'M GOING TO INCLUDE
A TITLE ABOUT...
MY TOPIC.
THAT'S NOT MY
TIDIEST WRITING.
I'M GLAD IT'S
NOT A GOOD COPY.
SO, I'M GOING TO INCLUDE A
TITLE ABOUT MY TOPIC.
SO IF MY TOPIC
IS FIREFIGHTERS,
MY TITLE IS
NOT GOING TO BE
"THE TIME I WENT CAMPING AND
MADE MARSHMALLOWS."
MY TITLE MIGHT BE
"FIREFIGHTERS ARE THE BEST."
SO, I WANT MY TOPIC
TO MAKE SURE--
OR MY TITLE TO
MAKE SURE
THAT IT FITS MY TOPIC
I'M TELLING ABOUT.
SO, YOU ARE GOING TO
PICK A COMMUNITY WORKER
WHO YOU WANT
TO TELL ALL ABOUT.
IT COULD BE ONE OF
THE ESSENTIAL WORKERS
THAT DR. CHEDDAR
TOLD US ABOUT,
OR IT COULD
BE SOMEBODY ELSE
WHO WORKS IN
YOUR COMMUNITY.
YOU'RE GOING TO
WRITE A LITTLE STORY
ABOUT THOSE
COMMUNITY WORKERS
TO TELL ABOUT WHY THEY'RE
IMPORTANT AND WHAT THEY DO.
ONCE YOU'RE
FINISHED,
THIS IS WHERE THE
IMPORTANT WORK STARTS,
AND WE REVISE.
YOU WILL READ YOUR STORY OUT
LOUD TO YOURSELF AND ASK,
"DOES IT
MAKE SENSE?"
IF THE ANSWER
IS NO,
THEN YOU NEED TO GO BACK
AND FIX SOME OF THOSE SENTENCES
OR ADD SOME DETAILS SO THAT
YOUR STORY MAKES SENSE.
YOUR NEXT THING
YOU'RE GOING TO DO
IS CHANGE
ANY BORING WORDS.
THINK ABOUT
THAT WORD GRAVEYARD.
IF THEY'RE NOT
VERY INTERESTING,
LET'S MIX IT UP AND MAKE
YOUR WRITING MORE VIBRANT.
THE NEXT THING YOU
WANT TO LOOK FOR IS,
CAN YOU
ADD ADJECTIVES?
HAVE YOU ACTUALLY DESCRIBED
THE NOUNS IN THIS STORY,
PEOPLE, PLACES,
AND THINGS?
CAN YOU ADD A LITTLE
MORE DESCRIPTION
SO YOUR READER CAN
VISUALIZE?”
Kristy says,
“SO, ONCE YOU'VE
CHECKED OVER YOUR LIST
AND YOU'VE ADDED YOUR
INTERESTING ADJECTIVES,
YOU NEED
TO MAKE SURE:
DID YOU STAY
ON TOPIC?
DID YOU INCLUDE A TITLE
ABOUT YOUR TOPIC THAT FITS?
SO, CHOOSE YOUR
COMMUNITY WORKER,
TELL ABOUT THEM,
AND WHEN YOU'RE
FINISHED,
THINK ABOUT OUR THREE
STARS AND A WISH STRATEGY
WHEN YOU
READ IT OVER.
SO, WHAT
ARE THREE THINGS
YOU REALLY LIKE ABOUT YOUR
PIECE OF WRITING?
AND WHAT'S ONE THING YOU WISH
YOU HAD DONE DIFFERENTLY
OR YOU WISH YOU
COULD CHANGE?
WHATEVER YOUR
WISH IS,
THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO GO
BACK AND FIX THAT UP
AND ADD MORE
TO YOUR STORY.
IT'S A REALLY IMPORTANT
PART OF REVISION.
REMEMBER, YOU CAN
REVISE MORE THAN ONCE.
ONCE YOU'VE MADE
SOME CHANGES,
YOU CAN GO
BACK TO THE TOP
AND READ IT
OUT LOUD AGAIN
AND CHECK
EVERYTHING OVER.
WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE
THIS OUR VERY BEST WORK.”
Kristy adds,
“THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE TODAY
TO JOIN US ON
TVOKIDS
POWER HOUR OF LEARNING
TO LEARN ALL ABOUT HOW
WE REVISE A FIRST DRAFT.
I HOPE YOU LEARNED LOTS OF
NEW STRATEGIES TODAY
FOR MAKING GREAT
WORD CHOICES,
FOR HOW TO MAKE
SURE YOUR SENTENCES
IN YOUR STORIES MAKE SENSE
AND ALL GO TOGETHER,
AND THAT YOU'LL
BE ABLE TO USE THOSE
IN ALL OF YOUR WRITING AT
SCHOOL AND AT HOME.
REMEMBER, PRACTICE
MAKES PERFECT,
SO YOU HAVE TO KEEP
WORKING AT IT,
AND OUR FIRST PIECE OF WRITING
IS NEVER WHERE WE STOP.
WE WANT TO GO BACK AND
KEEP MAKING IT
BETTER AND BETTER.
THANKS AGAIN
FOR JOINING ME TODAY.
I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN ANOTHER
DAY FOR ANOTHER ACTIVITY
ALL ABOUT HOW WE CAN
MAKE OUR WRITING GREAT
ON TVOKIDS POWER HOUR
OF LEARNING.
BYE.”
Text reads, “TVO would like to thank all the
teachers involved in the Power Hour of Learning
at they continue to teach the children of Ontario
from their homes.”
Credits read, “TVO Kids Power Hour of
Learning. TVO.”
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