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Transcript: Greatest Heist Ever
(Music playing)
Black letters read: Screen Australia and The Australian Broadcasting Corporation present. In association with The Australian Children’s Television Foundation and Screen NSW. A Northern Pictures Production.
Rapping, A NEW DAY DAWNS IN THE WILD WILD WEST WHERE THE STATE WILL DISCOVER WHO WILL BE THE BEST, TOO AND YOU KNOW WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH TEAM MAHAKI DIGS DOWN TO USE THE RIGHT STUFF
Mikey is twelve or thirteen with dark brown hair. Salwa is a tween with dark hair in a braid. Jerry looks to be twelve or thirteen with medium brown hair. Prisha is a tween with dark hair in two buns. They all wear school uniforms.
Rapping, 'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL THEN YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE IT YOUR ALL
Tiffany is twelve or thirteen with black hair and glasses. She wears a yellow jacket.
Rapping, COME ON
Viktor and Ivanka are blonde tweens wearing green jackets.
Rapping, 'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL YOU'VE GOTTA THINK BIG NOT SMALL
Black letters read: Created and Written by Guy Edmonds and Matt Zeremes.
Rapping, IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL THEN YOU'VE GOTTA PLAY HARDBALL
A title reads: Hardball
Salwa says, ALL RIGHT, CAN YOU SMELL THAT?
Mikey says, NEW DEODORANT?
Salwa says, YEAH, BUT NO.
Prisha asks, BANANA SMOOTHIE?
Mikey says, NO, THAT'S ME. AUNTIE MAKES MEAN AS BANANA SMOOTHIES.
Salwa says, NAH, BRO.
Mikey asks, MY MINTY FRESHNESS?
Salwa says, BRO, NO.
Prisha asks, THE BURST SEWER PIPE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OVAL?
Salwa says, OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. I SMELL CHEATING.
Mikey says, I WAS WAY OFF.
Salwa says, NASTY, STINKY VOLKOV CHEATING. THEY'RE CHEATS AND I'M GONNA PROVE IT.
Mikey and Prisha ask, HOW?
Salwa smiles.
(Music playing)
Viktor and Ivanka walk down a hallway, holding metal briefcases. Lance follows them, wearing glasses with a camera on them.
Lance asks, YOU GETTING THIS, JERRY?
Jerry is on a computer. He says, INDEED MY FAITHFUL AVATAR.
(Lance laughing)
Lance says, LANCE-ITAR. ROGER THAT.
Salwa comes up behind Lance.
Salwa says, HEY, UM, LANCE-ITAR. WHY DON'T YOU SHUT IT? WE'RE FULLY HEISTING.
Lance says, SORRY, SALWA.
Jerry says, SORRY, SALWA.
Lance says, LET'S GO.
(Music playing)
Lance and the others follow Viktor and Ivanka. Lance rolls through a doorway. They run down a hallway, hiding in doorways. A door closes and Lance bumps into it.
Jerry says, UH, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
Lance says, THE DOOR JUST HAPPENED.
Lance peers through a slot in the door.
Viktor and Ivanka hold two keys. They use them to unlock the briefcases. A glowing light comes from the open briefcases. Inside are small yellow balls, packed in foam.
Salwa whispers, WE NEED THOSE KEYS.
Ivanka and Viktor close and lock the cases.
(Music playing)
A sign reads, Cakes.
Cakes cookies are on a table with prices beside them. Prisha pops up behind a bush, holding binoculars. She makes hand signals. Lance signals back as he walks with Selway and Mikey outside.
Lance says, I CAN HELP.
Lance goes behind the cake table.
(Music playing)
Ivanka is at the table. Selwa uses a grabbing tool to reach for the key on Ivanka’s belt. She ducks back as Ivanka turns.
Ivanka says, ONE PROTEIN DOUGHNUT PLEASE.
Lance says, DON'T HAVE THAT BUT I DO HAVE A CINNAMON DOUGHNUT.
(Stammering)
Lance rapping, IVANKA IS THE KRUNKER. KRUNKER IS SLAM DRUNKER. SLAM DUNKER IS IVANKA WICKY WAH
(Lance beatboxing)
Selwa’s tool grasps the key. It pulls the key. They are attached on a line to Ivanka’s belt. Mikey cuts the line with sciccors.
Lance rapping, IVANKA IS THE KRUNKER. KRUNKER IS SLAM DUNKER. SLAM DUNKER IS IVANKA. WICKY WAH.
Lance runs away.
Viktor is at a drinking fountain. Prisha watches through binoculars and mouths, GO.
Lance jumps out.
Lance rapping, VIKTOR'S THE VICTOR. A BOA CONSTRICTOR. MAKES EARTHQUAKES ON THE RICHTER SCALE.
Mikey sneaks up behind Viktor and takes his key.
Lance rapping, NOBODY STRICTER THAN VIKTOR. WICKY WAH.
Viktor shakes his head and walks past Lance.
Jerry says, LANCE-ITAR, YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BUST A RHYME.
(Lance laughing)
Lance rapping, JERRY LIKE BLUEBERRIES--
Jerry says, UM, WE SHOULD COMPLETE THE HEIST.
Lance runs.
(Music playing)
Salwa leads the others down a hallway and into a room. Prisha and Salwa put keys in the briefcases.
Salwa says, THREE, TWO, ONE.
The others watch as Salwa and Prisha open the briefcases.
(Salwa gasping)
Salwa says, OKAY.
Salwa and Prisha put the balls in a bag. They put other balls back in the briefcases and close and lock them.
(Music playing)
They open the balls. They are hollow inside. Salwa looks at half a ball with a magnifying glass.
Mikey walks outside. Viktor and Ivanka play handball.
Salwa says, WE MUST HAVE MISSED SOMETHING.
Mikey says, ANOTHER DEAD END, BRO. WANNA HAVE A HIT OUT THERE? FACE THE FEAR?
Prisha says, NO PRESSURE, GIVE IT A GO.
Salwa says, MAYBE THEY'RE HALF CYBORG?
Prisha says, SERIOUSLY, SAL, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.
Mikey says, YEAH, BRO, YOU GOT THEIR BALLS, THEY WERE JUST ORDINARY BALLS. NO HIDDEN BIROS, BRO.
Salwa says, GYRO, BRO.
Mikey says, YEAH, THAT.
Salwa says, MAYBE THEY'VE GOT SOME MORE BALLS SOMEWHERE.
Prisha says, YEAH, DOUBT IT.
Mikey says, FACE FACTS, BRO, THEY'RE NOT CHEATS.
Salwa says, THEY ARE. NO-ONE'S THAT GOOD. THEY'RE CHEATS AND I'M GONNA PROVE IT.
(Bell ringing)
Children go into a school.
Lance sits on a desk, holding a guitar.
(Plucking guitar poorly)
Ms. Crapper says, ATTENTION, PLEASE. HOPE YOU'RE ALL SET FOR TODAY'S LITTLE CAMP. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE A PRESSING ENGAGEMENT WITH MY COUCH, SO I WON'T BE ATTENDING.
The students say, YES!
Ms. Crapper says, SILENCE!
Bao says, I'M BAO.
Ms. Crapper says, KEVIN AND MISS BAHM HAVE ASSURED ME THAT THEY'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU AND THAT YOU'LL ALL BE SAFE AND RISK FREE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
Bao says, IS IT STILL A NO TECH CAMP, MISS?
Ms. Crapper says, NO TABLETS, NO IPHONES, NO PCS, NO GAMES, NO CONSOLES, NO--
Bao asks, CAN I BRING THIS?
Bao holds a portable boombox.
Ms. Crapper says, A LITTLE MUSIC WON'T HURT, BUT IF I CATCH ANY OF YOU WITH DEVICES BUILT THIS CENTURY, IT'LL BE A WEEK'S WORTH OF DETENTION LICKING STAMPS. DIB-DIB-DIB.
(Kids chattering excitedly)
Students leave the class. Ms. Crapper looks at Mikey.
Ms. Crapper, OH, BY THE WAY MICHAEL. I SPOKE TO MY SISTER OVER AT BUTTERFIELD AND SHE SAID TO SAY--
A child calls, MIKEY, YALLA!
Mikey says, SORRY, MISS, I GOTTA GO, EH. DON'T WANT TO MISS THE BUS.
Ms. Crapper says, PECULIAR BOY.
Electronic devices are put on a tray.
Miss Bahm says, TA, AND THANK YOU, LANCE.
Lance kisses his phone and puts it on a tray.
Salwa watches a video on a phone.
Mikey says, MAYBE TIME TO STOP SCRATCHING THE ITCH, EH, BRO?
Salwa says, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HIT THAT.
Prisha says, MAYBE THEY'RE JUST REALLY GOOD. LIKE REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
Salwa says, NAH, THEY'RE DEFINITELY CHEATS.
Viktor wears a watch.
Salwa says, BRO, THEY'RE WEARING DUMB WATCHES.
Prisha says, PRETTY SURE THEY'RE CALLED SMARTWATCHES.
Salwa says, I WAS MAKING A, JOKE DUMMY. AND WHATEVER THEY ARE, THEY'RE RISKING DETENTION TO KEEP THEM ON.
Miss Bahm says, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
Kevin says, ALL RIGHT SQUIRTS, TECH LOCKDOWN COMPLETE.
Miss Bahm says, NOT SO FAST. IT'S A NO TECH CAMP FOR TEACHERS TOO.
Kevin says, NOT A TEACHER, SO...
Miss Bahm says, WELL TODAY YOU ARE.
Miss Bahm holds out her hand. Kevin gives her a phone.
Prisha says, AND HIS BACKUP PHONE.
Mikey says, OH, YEAH, AND HIS LAPTOP.
Salwa says, YEP, AND HIS BACKUP LAPTOP.
(Sighing)
Kevin takes a laptop out from the back of his shorts. Miss Bahm steps back.
Miss Bahm says, EW.
Bao says, DON'T FORGET HIS EMERGENCY PHONE.
Kevin takes a phone out of his sock.
Kevin says, ALL RIGHT, HAPPY? CAMP TIME!
Kevin pushes past the students in the hallway.
Salwa says, AGGRESSIVE MUCH. GEEZ.
(Music playing)
The students get on a bus.
(Robot noises)
Ivanka and Viktor get on the bus and sit down.
Prisha says, SO, WHAT DO WE THINK THE WATCHES DO?
Salwa says, STUFFED IF I KNOW. SOMETHING TO DO WITH CHEATING?
Mikey says,MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW, TELL THE TIME?
Viktor and Ivanka bring their watches together.
Ivanka says, EAGLES FLY NORTH.
(Beeping)
(Operatic wailing)
Mikey says, OKAY, MAYBE THEY'RE NOT JUST ANY REGULAR WATCH.
Salwa says, SO, THEY'RE VOICE ACTIVATED?
Prisha says, WHAT DO YOU THINK'S ON IT?
Salwa says, PROOF THEY'RE CHEATS. WE NEED TO RECORD HER VOICE PASSWORD AND PLAY IT TO THE WATCH.
Mikey says, IT'S A NO TECH CAMP. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET A VOICE RECORDING WITHOUT ANY TECH?
(Music playing)
Bao carries the boombox onto the bus. Salwa glances at Mikey. The bus doors close and the bus drives away.
Tents and a toilet paper pyramid are set up outside under trees.
Bao sits by a tent with the boombox on his lap.
Salwa says, OI, BAO, WE NEED YOUR TAPE MACHINE.
(Music stopping)
Bao asks, WHY?
Salwa says, 'CAUSE.
Bao says, IF BAO AND MIKEY DO COOL MOVES TOGETHER AND IF MIKEY'S MOVES ARE COOLER, SALWA CAN HAVE IT.
Mikey says, SKUX.
A teen in an orange vest says, DANCE BATTLE.
(Music playing)
A cassette tape is put in the boombox.
(Music playing)
Mikey dances the “running man.”
Salwa says, GO, MIKEY.
Bao wriggles like a worm. He spins and points at Mikey. Mikey moves his arms and turns.
Prisha says, YES, MIKEY.
Kevin and Miss Bahm watch.
Bao waves his arm. Mikey dances like a robot.
The teen in the orange vest says, TIME'S UP. AND THE WINNER IS MIKEY!
Mikey says, SWEET AS. NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO DO A DANCE BATTLE AT NO TECH CAMP.
Salwa says, HEY, BRO, THAT'S MINE NOW. THANKS, BRO. NOW LET'S GET THAT PASSWORD.
Ms. Crapper calls, CHILDREN! APPARENTLY THE LAW SAYS THAT A PRINCIPAL NEEDS TO BE AT THESE EVENTS, SO, UH, YAY FOR ME. KEVIN, MISS BAHM, ONE OF YOU MAY LEAVE.
Kevin and Miss Bahm look at each other.
(Knuckles cracking)
Kevin says, SCISSORS, PAPER, ROCK.
Kevin holds out two fingers and Miss Bahm holds out a fist. She hurries away.
Ms. Crapper says, COMPULSORY CHARADES, NOW!
(Music playing)
Mikey and Salwa look at each other.
People move around the campsite.
(Kettle whistling)
Salwa, Mikey and Prisha sit near each other.
Salwa says, GUYS, HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THAT VOICE PASSWORD?
Mikey says, HIT A BIT OF A SNAG EH?
Ms. Crapper says, 6B, LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
(Music playing)
The teen in the orange vest stands. He makes shooting gestures with his hands.
Ivanka calls, SPACE WARS.
The teen in the orange vest asks, HOW DID YOU--
Ms. Crapper says, NEXT?
Prisha says, I HAVE AN IDEA. THIS SNAG MIGHT BE JUST WHAT WE NEEDED. STAND BY TO RECORD.
Salwa whispers, GOT IT.
Prisha stands. She flaps her arms.
Ivanka says, EAGLES.
Prisha says, YAY FOR YOU, IVANKA.
Mikey says, COOL, I'LL GO NEXT.
Mikey stretches his arms out.
Ivanka says, FLY.
Mikey says, MEAN AS. HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
Salwa says, MY TURN. I GOT IT.
Mikey holds the boombox. Salway stretches her arms up.
Bao says, OH, OH, OH, IT'S A HUMMINGBIRD?
Salwa says, NO.
Lance says, CINNAMON SCROLL?
Salwa says, WHAT?
Lily asks, A 30-FOOT YACHT?
Salwa says, NO.
Tiffany asks, DUCKS GO QUACK?
Salwa says, NO.
Viktor says, MOON LANDING?
Ivanka says, NORTH.
Salwa says YAY. GOOD JOB, IVANKA.
Salwa presses play on the boombox.
Ivanka’s voice says, EAGLES FLY NORTH.
Salwa says, HECTIC.
Rayan calls, OI, SALWA, WE GOTTA SPLIT.
Salwa says, SIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Rayan says, BABA WANTS YOU BACK.
Salwa says, HE SAID I COULD STAY.
Rayan says, THE SHOP'S GETTING SLAMMED.
Salwa says, SO, YOU GO HELP.
Rayan says NO WAY.
Salwa says, SERIOUS?
Rayan says, FULLY.
Salwa says, C'MON, GIMME 20.
Rayan says, NAH, BABA SAID SO. GET IN THE CAR.
Salwa turns to Mikey and Prisha. She says, GET THE WATCH. I'LL WORK FROM HOME.
Rayan says, COME ON, SIS.
Salwa says, YALLA, I'M COMING.
(Music playing)
Ketchup and mustard are put on a hotdog. A tween puts on a bear costume.
Prisha and Mikey sit outside tents.
Prisha says, WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO BORROW THE WATCH FROM IVANKA'S WRIST.
Mikey says, YEAH, BUT I'M NOT A THIEF, BRO.
Prisha says, SAME HERE. BUT OBVIOUSLY, WE'D JUST BE BORROWING IT YEAH, SO NO RULES BROKEN.
Mikey asks, BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET IT OFF HER WRIST? I'M NOT A MAGICIAN.
Prisha says, I KNOW, YEAH, BUT SALWA REALLY WANTS THIS. THAT'S WHAT PACT BROS ARE FOR. WE HELP. WE FIGURE IT OUT.
Lance says, AND NOW I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A SPECIAL PREVIEW SONG FROM HANDBALL THE MUSICAL. THIS ONE REQUIRES A VERY SPESH GUEST UP ON STAGE.
Lily says, TIFF, WE WROTE IT FOR YOU. ARE YOU GONNA-- COME UP?
Lance says, COME...
Tiffany says, YEAH, NO OKAY.
Lance singing and playing guitar, T IS FOR TERRIFIC.
Lily singing, I IS FOR INVENTIVE. F IS FOR FANTASTIC .
Lance singing, THE SECOND F IS ALSO FANTASTIC. C IS FOR COME BACK TO US.
Lily says, THERE'S NO C IN TIFFANY.
Lance singing, WELL, THERE SHOULD BE BECAUSE I REMEMBER THE DAY. WHEN WE WERE WITH TIFFANY AND SHE WOULD SAY LANCE--
Tiffany says, ZIP IT, LANCE.
Lance singing, T IS FOR TIFFANY
Mikey says, BACK IN A SEC.
Lily singing, I IS FOR INVENTIVE
Tiffany sits apart from the camp. Mikey goes to her.
Mikey says, NOT MUCH OF A SINGER, EH? THEY WROTE IT FOR YOU.
Tiffany says, I DIDN'T ASK THEM TO, OKAY?
Mikey says, BUT THEY WERE YOUR BROS, BRO, LIKE, UH, WE WERE KIND OF YOUR BROS.
Tiffany says, THEY'RE NOT MY BROS, BRO, AND YOU'RE NOT EITHER. I DON'T HAVE BROS, OKAY?
Mikey asks, WHAT ABOUT THE VOLKOVS?
Tiffany says, TEAMMATES, NOT MY BROS.
Mikey says, EVERY BRO NEEDS A BRO.
Tiffany says, BROS JUST GET IN THE WAY.
Mikey says, COLD, BRO.
Tiffany says, AS ICE, BRO. IN FUTURE, MIND YOUR OWN BIZ, K?
Tiffany gets up.
(Music playing)
Salwa sits on a bed with a laptop.
Salwa says, COME ON, WHERE ARE YOUR SMARTWATCHES?
Baba calls, SALWA, BREAK OVER!
Salwa says, LOOK, I'M COMING BABA. THIS IS A JERRY MOMENT.
Jerry appears onscreen.
Jerry says, OH, GREETINGS, SALWA. WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?
Salwa says, I NEED YOUR HELP.
Jerry says, TALK AWAY, BRO.
(Music playing)
Viktor and Ivanka go into tents. Prisha and Mikey watch from behind a pile of sticks. They wear paint stripes on their cheeks.
Prisha says, ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAVE WE GOT?
Mikey says, WHAT IS SHE DOING?
Prisha says, NO IDEA, BUT IF THERE EVER WAS A TIME TO STRIKE...
Mikey says, IT'S NOW. I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS, EH?
Prisha says, YOU AND ME BOTH, BUT IF I DO GET THE WATCH, I'M PUTTING IT STRAIGHT BACK. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, WE'RE IN THE CLEAR.
Mikey says, OPERATION VOLKOV IS A GO.
Prisha says, COVER ME.
Mikey says, GO.
(Music playing)
Prisha runs toward the tents. Mikey watches through binoculars. Prisha ducks into Ivanka’s tent. Ivanka sits with a large metal bowl on her head and her arms held at chest level. Prisha reaches for the watch and stops.
Ivanka says, OHM... OHM...
(Flatulating)
Prisha makes a face and ducks back out of the tent.
(Music playing)
A video on a computer shows Ivanka and Viktor training.
Salwa says, NOPE, NO WATCHES.
Jerry says, OKAY, I KNOW IT MIGHT BE A LONG SHOT, BUT TRY THIS ONE FROM THE GYM.
(Speaking indistinctly)
Viktor and Ivanka carry balls around a gym with a trainer behind them.
Salwa says, HOLY SHISH-TAOUK.
Baba calls, SALWA!
Salwa says, LOOK, I'M COMING, BABA. ZOOM IN ON HIM.
A trainer on the video wears a blue watch.
Jerry says, THERE'S THE CRUMB WE ALL NEEDED.
Salwa says, HOLY-BABA-GHANOUSH. JIM'S GYM'S UP THE ROAD FROM ME. I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL THE WAY FROM THE WA.
Jerry says, FOLLOW THE BREADCRUMBS, SALWA. FOLLOW THE BREADCRUMBS.
On the video, Viktor, Ivanka and Gym all hold up blue watches.
(Beeping)
Salwa says, ALL RIGHT, I'M ON IT.
(Music playing)
Viktor and Ivanka sit outside their tents. Kevin puts his ear to phone drawn on a block of wood. Tiffany unrolls a sleeping bag.
Prisha and Mikey look at Kevin.
Mikey says, HEY, BRO. WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO A BRICK?
Kevin says, BECAUSE I WANT TO MACLUCKY.
Prisha asks, KEVIN, ARE YOU OKAY?
Kevin says, WHY WOULDN'T I BE?
Mikey asks, ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITHOUT TECH?
Kevin says, WHAT WAS THAT, TZATZIKI?
Mikey asks, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE TECH FREE?
Kevin cries, NEVER! AHH!
Prisha and Mikey glance at each other.
Kevin says, OH, THAT FELT GOOD. HOW CAN I HELP?
Mikey says, WE'RE ON A TOP SECRET MISSION, BRO.
Kevin says, BORING ME, MARIACHI.
Prisha says, THERE'S SOME SMARTWATCHES WE NEED TO ACCESS WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING THEM, YOU FOLLOW?
Kevin says, LIKE A LEMMING. SMARTWATCHES USUALLY HAVE FIRMWARE WITHOUT ENCRYPTION, NOT TO MENTION BEING RIPE FOR ACCOUNT HARVESTING.
Prisha says, NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT SOUNDS GREAT. CAN YOU DO IT?
Kevin says, SURE. MIYAZAKI, LAPTOP ME?
Mikey says, OKAY.
Mikey gives Kevin a pizza box with a keyboard drawn on it.
Kevin asks, PRISHA, MOUSE ME?
Kevin points to a rock.
Rayan drives a sporty blue car. She says, CAN'T BELIEVE BABA LET YOU GO. YOU OWE ME BIG TIME, SIS.
Salwa says, I'M DOING YOUR CHORES, BRO.
Rayan says, AND WASHING MY CAR FOR A MONTH.
Salwa says, WHATEVER. OI, JIM'S GYM'S IS NEXT TO CHICKEN CHICKEN, SO TAKE SAILOR STREET.
Rayan asks, YOU COOL?
Salwa says, YEAH, I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M LETTING EVERYONE DOWN AND STUFF.
Rayan says, SIS, YOU'RE NOT LETTING ANYONE DOWN. IN MY MIND, SALWA'S ARABIC FOR LEGEND.
Salwa smiles.
Mikey says, SO, PLAN'S NOT GOING TO PLAN, EH?
Prisha says, WHAT WOULD SALWA DO? LET ME THINK. YELL AT US, BOSS US AROUND, THEN COME UP WITH A NEW PLAN.
Mikey says, A SKUX ONE. I GOT IT! WE SPLIT UP, WE HIT OPERATION VOLKOV WITH A TWO-PRONGED ATTACK.
Prisha says, YEAH, YEAH, LOVE THAT. SO, LIKE WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT TO TAKE?
Mikey says, I'LL TAKE VIKTOR AND YOU'LL TAKE IVANKA.
Prisha says, YEAH, BUT I GUESS I DIDN'T GO SO WELL LAST TIME WITH IVANKA, SO..
Mikey says, TRUE THAT, SO I'LL TAKE IVANKA AND YOU'LL TAKE VIKTOR?
Prisha says, I MEAN, IF YOU THINK THAT'S BETTER?
Mikey says, YEAH, JUST...
Ms. Crapper looks at him.
Mikey says, CRAP. CRAPPER.
Prisha asks, YOU NEED TO POOP?
Mikey says, UH, YEAH, GOT THE RUNS, BRO.
Mikey runs off.
Prisha says, TMI.
Mikey looks out from behind a tree.
Ms. Crapper yells, FREEZE!
(Screaming)
Ms. Crapper says, DON'T TRY ANYTHING.
Mikey asks, AM I UNDER ARREST, MISS?
Ms. Crapper says, NO, JUST ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT. NOW, WE NEED TO TALK. MY SISTER, MS. BLAPPER TOLD ME ABOUT THE BUTTERFIELD RUGBY OPPORTUNITY. DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDN'T FIND OUT? I'M YOUR PRINCIPAL AND I HAVE MY WAYS, YOU KNOW.
Mikey says, I'M SORRY, MISS, I'M SURE YOU DO.
Ms. Crapper says, NOW, I NEED A FAVOUR. A LITTLE SECRET, JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US. SIGN THIS. I'LL ADD IT TO MY COLLECTION FOR WHEN YOU HIT THE BIG TIME. IF YOU DON'T HIT THE BIG TIME I'LL USE IT AS KITTY LITTER.
Mikey signs a photograph.
Ms. Crapper says, NOW, WRITE, "TO THE ONE AND ONLY BEVERLY CRAPPER. YOU'RE AN INSPIRATION, TAUGHT ME, EVERYTHING. SIGNED, MICHAEL MAHAKI." NEEDLESS TO SAY A WORD OF THIS TO ANYONE WILL MAKE A WEEK OF DETENTION FEEL LIKE AN EIGHT DAY CRUISE TO NEW CALEDONIA.
Ms. Crapper takes the photograph and walks away.
Mikey says, UH, OKAY.
Tiffany watches from behind a tree.
Singing, YEAH
Viktor holds up a bottle of water and studies it. He sits in a canoe on land.
Prisha says, CUTE, HUH? YOU KNOW I HEARD THAT LIGHT TRAVELS SLOWER WHEN IT HITS THE WATER.
Viktor says, I LISTEN IN SCIENCE TOO. MORE SPECIFICALLY, WHEN THE LIGHT TRAVELS FROM AIR INTO WATER, IT NOT ONLY SLOWS DOWN, BUT CHANGES DIRECTION. IT'S CALLED REFRACTION. SIMPLY PUT, THE WATER CHANGES THE LIGHT.
Prisha says, WOW, INSERT CLICHÉ JUDGE BOOK BY COVER AGAIN QUOTE.
Viktor smiles.
A sign reads: Jim’s Gym.
(Music playing)
Salwa and Rayan go into the gym.
(Jim humming)
Jim is sweeping.
Jim says, HEY, WE'RE SHUT. WHAT, CAN'T YOU READ?
Salwa says, WE'RE NOT HERE TO TRAIN, BRO.
Jim says, ARE YOU DEAF? WE'RE SHUT.
Salwa says, GEEZ, BRO, WHAT'S WITH THE INTENSITY?
Jim says, MY GYM, MY RULES. DON'T LIKE THEM? LEAVE.
Salwa says, SORRY, SIR-BRO.
Jim says, APOLOGY ACCEPTED, BUT LIKE I SAID ALREADY, WE'RE CLOSED.
Rayan says, SORRY, JIM, KIDS THESE DAYS. LOOK, MY SISTER HAS A FEW QUESTIONS IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT?
Jim says, YOU GOT ONE MINUTE.
Salwa says,SO, MR. JIM-BRO-SIR...
Jim says, MM-HM.
Salwa says, I'VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE VOLKOVS.
Jim looks up.
Prisha says, YEAH, BUT THAT ENDING?
Viktor says, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Prisha says, WAS A TOTAL BUMMER. THEY DIDN'T GET TOGETHER.
Viktor says, IF THEY DID, THERE WOULDN'T BE A VOLUME NINE.
Prisha says, GOOD POINT. THANKS FOR THE BOOK BY THE WAY.
Viktor says, OF COURSE.
(Beeping)
Viktor looks at his watch.
Viktor says, LOW BATTERY.
Prisha says, SO MUCH FOR A NO TECH CAMP, YEAH?
Viktor says, OUR LITTLE SECRET.
Viktor takes out a battery pack.
Prisha asks, SO, LIKE, WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?
Viktor says, NOTHING SPECIAL. NOW THAT VIEW, THAT IS SPECIAL.
Viktor puts his watch on the battery pack. Prisha starts to reach for the watch.
Viktor asks, DO YOU THINK JUDGEY MCJUDGEFACE AND DETECTIVE VON DETECTEY WILL EVER GET TOGETHER?
Prisha says, THEY'RE MEANT TO BE, BUT FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS, KIND OF LIKE US.
Viktor asks, HOW SO?
Prisha says, WELL, YOU KNOW, WE PLAY FOR DIFFERENT TEAMS AND ALL THAT STUFF.
Viktor asks, PEOPLE CAN'T CHANGE?
Prisha says, WHAT? LIKE LIGHT HITTING THE WATER?
Viktor says, EXACTLY.
Prisha smiles.
Salwa says, WE GOTTA GET TO CAMP, WE GOTTA TELL TEAM MAHAKI OR I'M GONNA POP!
Rayan says, WE'VE GOT TO GO HOME.
Salwa says, PLEASE, SIS, I WOULDN'T ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING IF IT WASN'T IMPORTANT. I'LL WASH YOUR CAR FOR TWO MONTHS. THREE MONTHS. FOUR MONTHS.
Rayan says, SIX AND IT'S A DEAL.
Salwa says, PIECE OF CAKE.
Rayan says, SHAKE ON IT.
Salwa and Rayan slap hands and snap their fingers.
Salwa says, PRETTY SURE THIS IS SLAVE LABOUR. NO? OKAY.
People roast sticks full of marshmallows. Prisha walks up to Mikey.
Prisha asks, HOW'D YOU GO?
Mikey says, OH, DOUGHNUTS, BRO. GOT BUSTED BY MISS. THINK SHE HAD TOO MANY ROASTED MARSHMALLOWS.
Prisha says, YEAH, YEAH, DOUBLE DOUGHNUTS. VIKTOR VOLKOV IS A TOUGH COOKIE TO CRACK.
Mikey says, YEP, MIGHT BREAK A TOOTH TRYING TO CRACK THAT COOKIE.
Salwa calls, OI!
Mikey says, BRO, THOUGHT YOU HAD WORK. HEY, RAY-RAY.
Rayan says, SUP.
Salwa says, I MADE A SICK DISCOVERY.
Prisha says, ABOUT THE VOLKOVS?
Salwa says, YEAH, I DID SOME VOLKOV DIGGING WITH JERRY AND WE FOUND THEIR OLD GYM TRAINER, JIM, AT THEIR OLD GYM, JIM'S GYM, ALL RIGHT?
Prisha says, GREAT NAME FOR A GYM, JIM'S GYM.
Mikey says, YEAH, IF I EVER GET INTO THE MICROPHONE BUSINESS, GONNA HAVE TO NAME IT MIKEY'S MIKES.
Salwa says, THEY CAME ALL THE WAY FROM THE WA LAST YEAR FOR A TWO WEEK HANDBALL MASTERCLASS. JIM SAID THEY'RE LIKE THE BEST ATHLETES EVER AND THEIR TRAINING IS LIKE SOME SORT OF MAD SCIENCE.
Mikey asks, ANYTHING ABOUT THE WATCH THINGIES?
Salwa says, YEAH, IT'S A JIMBIT AND I WAS WRONG. THEY'RE NOT CHEATS. THEY JUST TRAIN FULLY HARD, AND GET THIS, THEY HIT 50,000 STEPS A DAY, BIRTHDAYS INCLUDED.
Prisha says, THAT MUST BE WHY THEY WORE THEM AND RISKED DETENTION TONIGHT. SERIOUSLY DEDICATED.
Salwa says, THAT DATA IS LIKE GOLD TO THEM. IF WE WANT TO BEAT THEM, WE GOTTA TRAIN LIKE THEM.
(Horn honking)
Rayan calls, SIS, COME ON.
Salwa says, I GOTTA SPLIT, OR RAYAN'S GONNA FREAK AND BABA'S GONNA BLOW.
Rayan says, YALLA.
Salwa says, I'M COMING, SIS. OH, YOU'RE SO IMPATIENT.
(Music playing)
Plates are stacked. Mikey washes them in a large bowl. Tiffany walks over to him.
Mikey says, GOT ANOTHER PLATE FOR ME?
Tiffany says, OVERHEARD YOUR LITTLE CHAT WITH CRAPPER BEFORE.
Mikey says, WAIT, WHAT?
Tiffany says, BE TOTES TRAG IF YOUR BROS FOUND OUT YOU WERE PLANNING TO DITCH THEM FOR RUGBY AND GO TO BUTTERFIELD.
Tiffany holds up her empty hand.
Tiffany asks, SEE THIS?
Mikey says, NO, YOU'RE MIMING, BRO.
Tiffany says, LOOK A LITTLE HARDER BECAUSE IT'S A BIG OLD ACE AND I'M HOLDING IT, OKAY?
Mikey says, YOU MEAN METAPHORICALLY, RIGHT?
Tiffany says, YES, METAPHORICALLY. WHEN DID YOU TAKE THE LITERAL PILL? ANYWAYS, I'LL SAVE THIS FOR LATER. NEVER KNOW WHEN I'LL NEED IT.
Mikey stares.
Tiffany says, SEE YOU LATER, MIKEY MIKE. MISSED A SPOT.
(Music playing)
Tiffany walks away. Mikey scrubs a plate.
(Music playing)
End credits read:
Directed by Darren Ashton
Story Developed by Guy Edmonds, Matt Zeremes and Catherine Nebauer.
Series Producer Joe Weatherstone
Executive Producers Catherine Nebauer, Bernadette O’Mahoney, Jan Stradling
Cast:
Mikey, Semisi Cheekam
Salwa, Reannah Hamdam
Jerry, Logan Reberger
Tiffany, Erin Choy
Prisha, Holly Simon
Ivanka, Ella Holowell
Viktor, Sam Everingham
Logo: Australian Children’s Television Foundation
Logo: Create NSW
Logo: Northern Pictures
Singing, HARDBALL
Logo: ABC
Copyright 2021 Northern Pictures Pty Ltd., Australian Broadcasting Corporation, Create NSQ and Screen Australia.
Black letters read: Screen Australia and The Australian Broadcasting Corporation present. In association with The Australian Children’s Television Foundation and Screen NSW. A Northern Pictures Production.
Rapping, A NEW DAY DAWNS IN THE WILD WILD WEST WHERE THE STATE WILL DISCOVER WHO WILL BE THE BEST, TOO AND YOU KNOW WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH TEAM MAHAKI DIGS DOWN TO USE THE RIGHT STUFF
Mikey is twelve or thirteen with dark brown hair. Salwa is a tween with dark hair in a braid. Jerry looks to be twelve or thirteen with medium brown hair. Prisha is a tween with dark hair in two buns. They all wear school uniforms.
Rapping, 'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL THEN YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE IT YOUR ALL
Tiffany is twelve or thirteen with black hair and glasses. She wears a yellow jacket.
Rapping, COME ON
Viktor and Ivanka are blonde tweens wearing green jackets.
Rapping, 'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL YOU'VE GOTTA THINK BIG NOT SMALL
Black letters read: Created and Written by Guy Edmonds and Matt Zeremes.
Rapping, IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL THEN YOU'VE GOTTA PLAY HARDBALL
A title reads: Hardball
Salwa says, ALL RIGHT, CAN YOU SMELL THAT?
Mikey says, NEW DEODORANT?
Salwa says, YEAH, BUT NO.
Prisha asks, BANANA SMOOTHIE?
Mikey says, NO, THAT'S ME. AUNTIE MAKES MEAN AS BANANA SMOOTHIES.
Salwa says, NAH, BRO.
Mikey asks, MY MINTY FRESHNESS?
Salwa says, BRO, NO.
Prisha asks, THE BURST SEWER PIPE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OVAL?
Salwa says, OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. I SMELL CHEATING.
Mikey says, I WAS WAY OFF.
Salwa says, NASTY, STINKY VOLKOV CHEATING. THEY'RE CHEATS AND I'M GONNA PROVE IT.
Mikey and Prisha ask, HOW?
Salwa smiles.
(Music playing)
Viktor and Ivanka walk down a hallway, holding metal briefcases. Lance follows them, wearing glasses with a camera on them.
Lance asks, YOU GETTING THIS, JERRY?
Jerry is on a computer. He says, INDEED MY FAITHFUL AVATAR.
(Lance laughing)
Lance says, LANCE-ITAR. ROGER THAT.
Salwa comes up behind Lance.
Salwa says, HEY, UM, LANCE-ITAR. WHY DON'T YOU SHUT IT? WE'RE FULLY HEISTING.
Lance says, SORRY, SALWA.
Jerry says, SORRY, SALWA.
Lance says, LET'S GO.
(Music playing)
Lance and the others follow Viktor and Ivanka. Lance rolls through a doorway. They run down a hallway, hiding in doorways. A door closes and Lance bumps into it.
Jerry says, UH, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
Lance says, THE DOOR JUST HAPPENED.
Lance peers through a slot in the door.
Viktor and Ivanka hold two keys. They use them to unlock the briefcases. A glowing light comes from the open briefcases. Inside are small yellow balls, packed in foam.
Salwa whispers, WE NEED THOSE KEYS.
Ivanka and Viktor close and lock the cases.
(Music playing)
A sign reads, Cakes.
Cakes cookies are on a table with prices beside them. Prisha pops up behind a bush, holding binoculars. She makes hand signals. Lance signals back as he walks with Selway and Mikey outside.
Lance says, I CAN HELP.
Lance goes behind the cake table.
(Music playing)
Ivanka is at the table. Selwa uses a grabbing tool to reach for the key on Ivanka’s belt. She ducks back as Ivanka turns.
Ivanka says, ONE PROTEIN DOUGHNUT PLEASE.
Lance says, DON'T HAVE THAT BUT I DO HAVE A CINNAMON DOUGHNUT.
(Stammering)
Lance rapping, IVANKA IS THE KRUNKER. KRUNKER IS SLAM DRUNKER. SLAM DUNKER IS IVANKA WICKY WAH
(Lance beatboxing)
Selwa’s tool grasps the key. It pulls the key. They are attached on a line to Ivanka’s belt. Mikey cuts the line with sciccors.
Lance rapping, IVANKA IS THE KRUNKER. KRUNKER IS SLAM DUNKER. SLAM DUNKER IS IVANKA. WICKY WAH.
Lance runs away.
Viktor is at a drinking fountain. Prisha watches through binoculars and mouths, GO.
Lance jumps out.
Lance rapping, VIKTOR'S THE VICTOR. A BOA CONSTRICTOR. MAKES EARTHQUAKES ON THE RICHTER SCALE.
Mikey sneaks up behind Viktor and takes his key.
Lance rapping, NOBODY STRICTER THAN VIKTOR. WICKY WAH.
Viktor shakes his head and walks past Lance.
Jerry says, LANCE-ITAR, YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BUST A RHYME.
(Lance laughing)
Lance rapping, JERRY LIKE BLUEBERRIES--
Jerry says, UM, WE SHOULD COMPLETE THE HEIST.
Lance runs.
(Music playing)
Salwa leads the others down a hallway and into a room. Prisha and Salwa put keys in the briefcases.
Salwa says, THREE, TWO, ONE.
The others watch as Salwa and Prisha open the briefcases.
(Salwa gasping)
Salwa says, OKAY.
Salwa and Prisha put the balls in a bag. They put other balls back in the briefcases and close and lock them.
(Music playing)
They open the balls. They are hollow inside. Salwa looks at half a ball with a magnifying glass.
Mikey walks outside. Viktor and Ivanka play handball.
Salwa says, WE MUST HAVE MISSED SOMETHING.
Mikey says, ANOTHER DEAD END, BRO. WANNA HAVE A HIT OUT THERE? FACE THE FEAR?
Prisha says, NO PRESSURE, GIVE IT A GO.
Salwa says, MAYBE THEY'RE HALF CYBORG?
Prisha says, SERIOUSLY, SAL, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.
Mikey says, YEAH, BRO, YOU GOT THEIR BALLS, THEY WERE JUST ORDINARY BALLS. NO HIDDEN BIROS, BRO.
Salwa says, GYRO, BRO.
Mikey says, YEAH, THAT.
Salwa says, MAYBE THEY'VE GOT SOME MORE BALLS SOMEWHERE.
Prisha says, YEAH, DOUBT IT.
Mikey says, FACE FACTS, BRO, THEY'RE NOT CHEATS.
Salwa says, THEY ARE. NO-ONE'S THAT GOOD. THEY'RE CHEATS AND I'M GONNA PROVE IT.
(Bell ringing)
Children go into a school.
Lance sits on a desk, holding a guitar.
(Plucking guitar poorly)
Ms. Crapper says, ATTENTION, PLEASE. HOPE YOU'RE ALL SET FOR TODAY'S LITTLE CAMP. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE A PRESSING ENGAGEMENT WITH MY COUCH, SO I WON'T BE ATTENDING.
The students say, YES!
Ms. Crapper says, SILENCE!
Bao says, I'M BAO.
Ms. Crapper says, KEVIN AND MISS BAHM HAVE ASSURED ME THAT THEY'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU AND THAT YOU'LL ALL BE SAFE AND RISK FREE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
Bao says, IS IT STILL A NO TECH CAMP, MISS?
Ms. Crapper says, NO TABLETS, NO IPHONES, NO PCS, NO GAMES, NO CONSOLES, NO--
Bao asks, CAN I BRING THIS?
Bao holds a portable boombox.
Ms. Crapper says, A LITTLE MUSIC WON'T HURT, BUT IF I CATCH ANY OF YOU WITH DEVICES BUILT THIS CENTURY, IT'LL BE A WEEK'S WORTH OF DETENTION LICKING STAMPS. DIB-DIB-DIB.
(Kids chattering excitedly)
Students leave the class. Ms. Crapper looks at Mikey.
Ms. Crapper, OH, BY THE WAY MICHAEL. I SPOKE TO MY SISTER OVER AT BUTTERFIELD AND SHE SAID TO SAY--
A child calls, MIKEY, YALLA!
Mikey says, SORRY, MISS, I GOTTA GO, EH. DON'T WANT TO MISS THE BUS.
Ms. Crapper says, PECULIAR BOY.
Electronic devices are put on a tray.
Miss Bahm says, TA, AND THANK YOU, LANCE.
Lance kisses his phone and puts it on a tray.
Salwa watches a video on a phone.
Mikey says, MAYBE TIME TO STOP SCRATCHING THE ITCH, EH, BRO?
Salwa says, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HIT THAT.
Prisha says, MAYBE THEY'RE JUST REALLY GOOD. LIKE REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
Salwa says, NAH, THEY'RE DEFINITELY CHEATS.
Viktor wears a watch.
Salwa says, BRO, THEY'RE WEARING DUMB WATCHES.
Prisha says, PRETTY SURE THEY'RE CALLED SMARTWATCHES.
Salwa says, I WAS MAKING A, JOKE DUMMY. AND WHATEVER THEY ARE, THEY'RE RISKING DETENTION TO KEEP THEM ON.
Miss Bahm says, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
Kevin says, ALL RIGHT SQUIRTS, TECH LOCKDOWN COMPLETE.
Miss Bahm says, NOT SO FAST. IT'S A NO TECH CAMP FOR TEACHERS TOO.
Kevin says, NOT A TEACHER, SO...
Miss Bahm says, WELL TODAY YOU ARE.
Miss Bahm holds out her hand. Kevin gives her a phone.
Prisha says, AND HIS BACKUP PHONE.
Mikey says, OH, YEAH, AND HIS LAPTOP.
Salwa says, YEP, AND HIS BACKUP LAPTOP.
(Sighing)
Kevin takes a laptop out from the back of his shorts. Miss Bahm steps back.
Miss Bahm says, EW.
Bao says, DON'T FORGET HIS EMERGENCY PHONE.
Kevin takes a phone out of his sock.
Kevin says, ALL RIGHT, HAPPY? CAMP TIME!
Kevin pushes past the students in the hallway.
Salwa says, AGGRESSIVE MUCH. GEEZ.
(Music playing)
The students get on a bus.
(Robot noises)
Ivanka and Viktor get on the bus and sit down.
Prisha says, SO, WHAT DO WE THINK THE WATCHES DO?
Salwa says, STUFFED IF I KNOW. SOMETHING TO DO WITH CHEATING?
Mikey says,MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW, TELL THE TIME?
Viktor and Ivanka bring their watches together.
Ivanka says, EAGLES FLY NORTH.
(Beeping)
(Operatic wailing)
Mikey says, OKAY, MAYBE THEY'RE NOT JUST ANY REGULAR WATCH.
Salwa says, SO, THEY'RE VOICE ACTIVATED?
Prisha says, WHAT DO YOU THINK'S ON IT?
Salwa says, PROOF THEY'RE CHEATS. WE NEED TO RECORD HER VOICE PASSWORD AND PLAY IT TO THE WATCH.
Mikey says, IT'S A NO TECH CAMP. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET A VOICE RECORDING WITHOUT ANY TECH?
(Music playing)
Bao carries the boombox onto the bus. Salwa glances at Mikey. The bus doors close and the bus drives away.
Tents and a toilet paper pyramid are set up outside under trees.
Bao sits by a tent with the boombox on his lap.
Salwa says, OI, BAO, WE NEED YOUR TAPE MACHINE.
(Music stopping)
Bao asks, WHY?
Salwa says, 'CAUSE.
Bao says, IF BAO AND MIKEY DO COOL MOVES TOGETHER AND IF MIKEY'S MOVES ARE COOLER, SALWA CAN HAVE IT.
Mikey says, SKUX.
A teen in an orange vest says, DANCE BATTLE.
(Music playing)
A cassette tape is put in the boombox.
(Music playing)
Mikey dances the “running man.”
Salwa says, GO, MIKEY.
Bao wriggles like a worm. He spins and points at Mikey. Mikey moves his arms and turns.
Prisha says, YES, MIKEY.
Kevin and Miss Bahm watch.
Bao waves his arm. Mikey dances like a robot.
The teen in the orange vest says, TIME'S UP. AND THE WINNER IS MIKEY!
Mikey says, SWEET AS. NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO DO A DANCE BATTLE AT NO TECH CAMP.
Salwa says, HEY, BRO, THAT'S MINE NOW. THANKS, BRO. NOW LET'S GET THAT PASSWORD.
Ms. Crapper calls, CHILDREN! APPARENTLY THE LAW SAYS THAT A PRINCIPAL NEEDS TO BE AT THESE EVENTS, SO, UH, YAY FOR ME. KEVIN, MISS BAHM, ONE OF YOU MAY LEAVE.
Kevin and Miss Bahm look at each other.
(Knuckles cracking)
Kevin says, SCISSORS, PAPER, ROCK.
Kevin holds out two fingers and Miss Bahm holds out a fist. She hurries away.
Ms. Crapper says, COMPULSORY CHARADES, NOW!
(Music playing)
Mikey and Salwa look at each other.
People move around the campsite.
(Kettle whistling)
Salwa, Mikey and Prisha sit near each other.
Salwa says, GUYS, HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THAT VOICE PASSWORD?
Mikey says, HIT A BIT OF A SNAG EH?
Ms. Crapper says, 6B, LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
(Music playing)
The teen in the orange vest stands. He makes shooting gestures with his hands.
Ivanka calls, SPACE WARS.
The teen in the orange vest asks, HOW DID YOU--
Ms. Crapper says, NEXT?
Prisha says, I HAVE AN IDEA. THIS SNAG MIGHT BE JUST WHAT WE NEEDED. STAND BY TO RECORD.
Salwa whispers, GOT IT.
Prisha stands. She flaps her arms.
Ivanka says, EAGLES.
Prisha says, YAY FOR YOU, IVANKA.
Mikey says, COOL, I'LL GO NEXT.
Mikey stretches his arms out.
Ivanka says, FLY.
Mikey says, MEAN AS. HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
Salwa says, MY TURN. I GOT IT.
Mikey holds the boombox. Salway stretches her arms up.
Bao says, OH, OH, OH, IT'S A HUMMINGBIRD?
Salwa says, NO.
Lance says, CINNAMON SCROLL?
Salwa says, WHAT?
Lily asks, A 30-FOOT YACHT?
Salwa says, NO.
Tiffany asks, DUCKS GO QUACK?
Salwa says, NO.
Viktor says, MOON LANDING?
Ivanka says, NORTH.
Salwa says YAY. GOOD JOB, IVANKA.
Salwa presses play on the boombox.
Ivanka’s voice says, EAGLES FLY NORTH.
Salwa says, HECTIC.
Rayan calls, OI, SALWA, WE GOTTA SPLIT.
Salwa says, SIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Rayan says, BABA WANTS YOU BACK.
Salwa says, HE SAID I COULD STAY.
Rayan says, THE SHOP'S GETTING SLAMMED.
Salwa says, SO, YOU GO HELP.
Rayan says NO WAY.
Salwa says, SERIOUS?
Rayan says, FULLY.
Salwa says, C'MON, GIMME 20.
Rayan says, NAH, BABA SAID SO. GET IN THE CAR.
Salwa turns to Mikey and Prisha. She says, GET THE WATCH. I'LL WORK FROM HOME.
Rayan says, COME ON, SIS.
Salwa says, YALLA, I'M COMING.
(Music playing)
Ketchup and mustard are put on a hotdog. A tween puts on a bear costume.
Prisha and Mikey sit outside tents.
Prisha says, WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO BORROW THE WATCH FROM IVANKA'S WRIST.
Mikey says, YEAH, BUT I'M NOT A THIEF, BRO.
Prisha says, SAME HERE. BUT OBVIOUSLY, WE'D JUST BE BORROWING IT YEAH, SO NO RULES BROKEN.
Mikey asks, BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET IT OFF HER WRIST? I'M NOT A MAGICIAN.
Prisha says, I KNOW, YEAH, BUT SALWA REALLY WANTS THIS. THAT'S WHAT PACT BROS ARE FOR. WE HELP. WE FIGURE IT OUT.
Lance says, AND NOW I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A SPECIAL PREVIEW SONG FROM HANDBALL THE MUSICAL. THIS ONE REQUIRES A VERY SPESH GUEST UP ON STAGE.
Lily says, TIFF, WE WROTE IT FOR YOU. ARE YOU GONNA-- COME UP?
Lance says, COME...
Tiffany says, YEAH, NO OKAY.
Lance singing and playing guitar, T IS FOR TERRIFIC.
Lily singing, I IS FOR INVENTIVE. F IS FOR FANTASTIC .
Lance singing, THE SECOND F IS ALSO FANTASTIC. C IS FOR COME BACK TO US.
Lily says, THERE'S NO C IN TIFFANY.
Lance singing, WELL, THERE SHOULD BE BECAUSE I REMEMBER THE DAY. WHEN WE WERE WITH TIFFANY AND SHE WOULD SAY LANCE--
Tiffany says, ZIP IT, LANCE.
Lance singing, T IS FOR TIFFANY
Mikey says, BACK IN A SEC.
Lily singing, I IS FOR INVENTIVE
Tiffany sits apart from the camp. Mikey goes to her.
Mikey says, NOT MUCH OF A SINGER, EH? THEY WROTE IT FOR YOU.
Tiffany says, I DIDN'T ASK THEM TO, OKAY?
Mikey says, BUT THEY WERE YOUR BROS, BRO, LIKE, UH, WE WERE KIND OF YOUR BROS.
Tiffany says, THEY'RE NOT MY BROS, BRO, AND YOU'RE NOT EITHER. I DON'T HAVE BROS, OKAY?
Mikey asks, WHAT ABOUT THE VOLKOVS?
Tiffany says, TEAMMATES, NOT MY BROS.
Mikey says, EVERY BRO NEEDS A BRO.
Tiffany says, BROS JUST GET IN THE WAY.
Mikey says, COLD, BRO.
Tiffany says, AS ICE, BRO. IN FUTURE, MIND YOUR OWN BIZ, K?
Tiffany gets up.
(Music playing)
Salwa sits on a bed with a laptop.
Salwa says, COME ON, WHERE ARE YOUR SMARTWATCHES?
Baba calls, SALWA, BREAK OVER!
Salwa says, LOOK, I'M COMING BABA. THIS IS A JERRY MOMENT.
Jerry appears onscreen.
Jerry says, OH, GREETINGS, SALWA. WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?
Salwa says, I NEED YOUR HELP.
Jerry says, TALK AWAY, BRO.
(Music playing)
Viktor and Ivanka go into tents. Prisha and Mikey watch from behind a pile of sticks. They wear paint stripes on their cheeks.
Prisha says, ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAVE WE GOT?
Mikey says, WHAT IS SHE DOING?
Prisha says, NO IDEA, BUT IF THERE EVER WAS A TIME TO STRIKE...
Mikey says, IT'S NOW. I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS, EH?
Prisha says, YOU AND ME BOTH, BUT IF I DO GET THE WATCH, I'M PUTTING IT STRAIGHT BACK. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, WE'RE IN THE CLEAR.
Mikey says, OPERATION VOLKOV IS A GO.
Prisha says, COVER ME.
Mikey says, GO.
(Music playing)
Prisha runs toward the tents. Mikey watches through binoculars. Prisha ducks into Ivanka’s tent. Ivanka sits with a large metal bowl on her head and her arms held at chest level. Prisha reaches for the watch and stops.
Ivanka says, OHM... OHM...
(Flatulating)
Prisha makes a face and ducks back out of the tent.
(Music playing)
A video on a computer shows Ivanka and Viktor training.
Salwa says, NOPE, NO WATCHES.
Jerry says, OKAY, I KNOW IT MIGHT BE A LONG SHOT, BUT TRY THIS ONE FROM THE GYM.
(Speaking indistinctly)
Viktor and Ivanka carry balls around a gym with a trainer behind them.
Salwa says, HOLY SHISH-TAOUK.
Baba calls, SALWA!
Salwa says, LOOK, I'M COMING, BABA. ZOOM IN ON HIM.
A trainer on the video wears a blue watch.
Jerry says, THERE'S THE CRUMB WE ALL NEEDED.
Salwa says, HOLY-BABA-GHANOUSH. JIM'S GYM'S UP THE ROAD FROM ME. I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL THE WAY FROM THE WA.
Jerry says, FOLLOW THE BREADCRUMBS, SALWA. FOLLOW THE BREADCRUMBS.
On the video, Viktor, Ivanka and Gym all hold up blue watches.
(Beeping)
Salwa says, ALL RIGHT, I'M ON IT.
(Music playing)
Viktor and Ivanka sit outside their tents. Kevin puts his ear to phone drawn on a block of wood. Tiffany unrolls a sleeping bag.
Prisha and Mikey look at Kevin.
Mikey says, HEY, BRO. WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO A BRICK?
Kevin says, BECAUSE I WANT TO MACLUCKY.
Prisha asks, KEVIN, ARE YOU OKAY?
Kevin says, WHY WOULDN'T I BE?
Mikey asks, ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITHOUT TECH?
Kevin says, WHAT WAS THAT, TZATZIKI?
Mikey asks, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE TECH FREE?
Kevin cries, NEVER! AHH!
Prisha and Mikey glance at each other.
Kevin says, OH, THAT FELT GOOD. HOW CAN I HELP?
Mikey says, WE'RE ON A TOP SECRET MISSION, BRO.
Kevin says, BORING ME, MARIACHI.
Prisha says, THERE'S SOME SMARTWATCHES WE NEED TO ACCESS WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING THEM, YOU FOLLOW?
Kevin says, LIKE A LEMMING. SMARTWATCHES USUALLY HAVE FIRMWARE WITHOUT ENCRYPTION, NOT TO MENTION BEING RIPE FOR ACCOUNT HARVESTING.
Prisha says, NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT SOUNDS GREAT. CAN YOU DO IT?
Kevin says, SURE. MIYAZAKI, LAPTOP ME?
Mikey says, OKAY.
Mikey gives Kevin a pizza box with a keyboard drawn on it.
Kevin asks, PRISHA, MOUSE ME?
Kevin points to a rock.
Rayan drives a sporty blue car. She says, CAN'T BELIEVE BABA LET YOU GO. YOU OWE ME BIG TIME, SIS.
Salwa says, I'M DOING YOUR CHORES, BRO.
Rayan says, AND WASHING MY CAR FOR A MONTH.
Salwa says, WHATEVER. OI, JIM'S GYM'S IS NEXT TO CHICKEN CHICKEN, SO TAKE SAILOR STREET.
Rayan asks, YOU COOL?
Salwa says, YEAH, I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M LETTING EVERYONE DOWN AND STUFF.
Rayan says, SIS, YOU'RE NOT LETTING ANYONE DOWN. IN MY MIND, SALWA'S ARABIC FOR LEGEND.
Salwa smiles.
Mikey says, SO, PLAN'S NOT GOING TO PLAN, EH?
Prisha says, WHAT WOULD SALWA DO? LET ME THINK. YELL AT US, BOSS US AROUND, THEN COME UP WITH A NEW PLAN.
Mikey says, A SKUX ONE. I GOT IT! WE SPLIT UP, WE HIT OPERATION VOLKOV WITH A TWO-PRONGED ATTACK.
Prisha says, YEAH, YEAH, LOVE THAT. SO, LIKE WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT TO TAKE?
Mikey says, I'LL TAKE VIKTOR AND YOU'LL TAKE IVANKA.
Prisha says, YEAH, BUT I GUESS I DIDN'T GO SO WELL LAST TIME WITH IVANKA, SO..
Mikey says, TRUE THAT, SO I'LL TAKE IVANKA AND YOU'LL TAKE VIKTOR?
Prisha says, I MEAN, IF YOU THINK THAT'S BETTER?
Mikey says, YEAH, JUST...
Ms. Crapper looks at him.
Mikey says, CRAP. CRAPPER.
Prisha asks, YOU NEED TO POOP?
Mikey says, UH, YEAH, GOT THE RUNS, BRO.
Mikey runs off.
Prisha says, TMI.
Mikey looks out from behind a tree.
Ms. Crapper yells, FREEZE!
(Screaming)
Ms. Crapper says, DON'T TRY ANYTHING.
Mikey asks, AM I UNDER ARREST, MISS?
Ms. Crapper says, NO, JUST ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT. NOW, WE NEED TO TALK. MY SISTER, MS. BLAPPER TOLD ME ABOUT THE BUTTERFIELD RUGBY OPPORTUNITY. DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDN'T FIND OUT? I'M YOUR PRINCIPAL AND I HAVE MY WAYS, YOU KNOW.
Mikey says, I'M SORRY, MISS, I'M SURE YOU DO.
Ms. Crapper says, NOW, I NEED A FAVOUR. A LITTLE SECRET, JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US. SIGN THIS. I'LL ADD IT TO MY COLLECTION FOR WHEN YOU HIT THE BIG TIME. IF YOU DON'T HIT THE BIG TIME I'LL USE IT AS KITTY LITTER.
Mikey signs a photograph.
Ms. Crapper says, NOW, WRITE, "TO THE ONE AND ONLY BEVERLY CRAPPER. YOU'RE AN INSPIRATION, TAUGHT ME, EVERYTHING. SIGNED, MICHAEL MAHAKI." NEEDLESS TO SAY A WORD OF THIS TO ANYONE WILL MAKE A WEEK OF DETENTION FEEL LIKE AN EIGHT DAY CRUISE TO NEW CALEDONIA.
Ms. Crapper takes the photograph and walks away.
Mikey says, UH, OKAY.
Tiffany watches from behind a tree.
Singing, YEAH
Viktor holds up a bottle of water and studies it. He sits in a canoe on land.
Prisha says, CUTE, HUH? YOU KNOW I HEARD THAT LIGHT TRAVELS SLOWER WHEN IT HITS THE WATER.
Viktor says, I LISTEN IN SCIENCE TOO. MORE SPECIFICALLY, WHEN THE LIGHT TRAVELS FROM AIR INTO WATER, IT NOT ONLY SLOWS DOWN, BUT CHANGES DIRECTION. IT'S CALLED REFRACTION. SIMPLY PUT, THE WATER CHANGES THE LIGHT.
Prisha says, WOW, INSERT CLICHÉ JUDGE BOOK BY COVER AGAIN QUOTE.
Viktor smiles.
A sign reads: Jim’s Gym.
(Music playing)
Salwa and Rayan go into the gym.
(Jim humming)
Jim is sweeping.
Jim says, HEY, WE'RE SHUT. WHAT, CAN'T YOU READ?
Salwa says, WE'RE NOT HERE TO TRAIN, BRO.
Jim says, ARE YOU DEAF? WE'RE SHUT.
Salwa says, GEEZ, BRO, WHAT'S WITH THE INTENSITY?
Jim says, MY GYM, MY RULES. DON'T LIKE THEM? LEAVE.
Salwa says, SORRY, SIR-BRO.
Jim says, APOLOGY ACCEPTED, BUT LIKE I SAID ALREADY, WE'RE CLOSED.
Rayan says, SORRY, JIM, KIDS THESE DAYS. LOOK, MY SISTER HAS A FEW QUESTIONS IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT?
Jim says, YOU GOT ONE MINUTE.
Salwa says,SO, MR. JIM-BRO-SIR...
Jim says, MM-HM.
Salwa says, I'VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE VOLKOVS.
Jim looks up.
Prisha says, YEAH, BUT THAT ENDING?
Viktor says, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Prisha says, WAS A TOTAL BUMMER. THEY DIDN'T GET TOGETHER.
Viktor says, IF THEY DID, THERE WOULDN'T BE A VOLUME NINE.
Prisha says, GOOD POINT. THANKS FOR THE BOOK BY THE WAY.
Viktor says, OF COURSE.
(Beeping)
Viktor looks at his watch.
Viktor says, LOW BATTERY.
Prisha says, SO MUCH FOR A NO TECH CAMP, YEAH?
Viktor says, OUR LITTLE SECRET.
Viktor takes out a battery pack.
Prisha asks, SO, LIKE, WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?
Viktor says, NOTHING SPECIAL. NOW THAT VIEW, THAT IS SPECIAL.
Viktor puts his watch on the battery pack. Prisha starts to reach for the watch.
Viktor asks, DO YOU THINK JUDGEY MCJUDGEFACE AND DETECTIVE VON DETECTEY WILL EVER GET TOGETHER?
Prisha says, THEY'RE MEANT TO BE, BUT FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS, KIND OF LIKE US.
Viktor asks, HOW SO?
Prisha says, WELL, YOU KNOW, WE PLAY FOR DIFFERENT TEAMS AND ALL THAT STUFF.
Viktor asks, PEOPLE CAN'T CHANGE?
Prisha says, WHAT? LIKE LIGHT HITTING THE WATER?
Viktor says, EXACTLY.
Prisha smiles.
Salwa says, WE GOTTA GET TO CAMP, WE GOTTA TELL TEAM MAHAKI OR I'M GONNA POP!
Rayan says, WE'VE GOT TO GO HOME.
Salwa says, PLEASE, SIS, I WOULDN'T ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING IF IT WASN'T IMPORTANT. I'LL WASH YOUR CAR FOR TWO MONTHS. THREE MONTHS. FOUR MONTHS.
Rayan says, SIX AND IT'S A DEAL.
Salwa says, PIECE OF CAKE.
Rayan says, SHAKE ON IT.
Salwa and Rayan slap hands and snap their fingers.
Salwa says, PRETTY SURE THIS IS SLAVE LABOUR. NO? OKAY.
People roast sticks full of marshmallows. Prisha walks up to Mikey.
Prisha asks, HOW'D YOU GO?
Mikey says, OH, DOUGHNUTS, BRO. GOT BUSTED BY MISS. THINK SHE HAD TOO MANY ROASTED MARSHMALLOWS.
Prisha says, YEAH, YEAH, DOUBLE DOUGHNUTS. VIKTOR VOLKOV IS A TOUGH COOKIE TO CRACK.
Mikey says, YEP, MIGHT BREAK A TOOTH TRYING TO CRACK THAT COOKIE.
Salwa calls, OI!
Mikey says, BRO, THOUGHT YOU HAD WORK. HEY, RAY-RAY.
Rayan says, SUP.
Salwa says, I MADE A SICK DISCOVERY.
Prisha says, ABOUT THE VOLKOVS?
Salwa says, YEAH, I DID SOME VOLKOV DIGGING WITH JERRY AND WE FOUND THEIR OLD GYM TRAINER, JIM, AT THEIR OLD GYM, JIM'S GYM, ALL RIGHT?
Prisha says, GREAT NAME FOR A GYM, JIM'S GYM.
Mikey says, YEAH, IF I EVER GET INTO THE MICROPHONE BUSINESS, GONNA HAVE TO NAME IT MIKEY'S MIKES.
Salwa says, THEY CAME ALL THE WAY FROM THE WA LAST YEAR FOR A TWO WEEK HANDBALL MASTERCLASS. JIM SAID THEY'RE LIKE THE BEST ATHLETES EVER AND THEIR TRAINING IS LIKE SOME SORT OF MAD SCIENCE.
Mikey asks, ANYTHING ABOUT THE WATCH THINGIES?
Salwa says, YEAH, IT'S A JIMBIT AND I WAS WRONG. THEY'RE NOT CHEATS. THEY JUST TRAIN FULLY HARD, AND GET THIS, THEY HIT 50,000 STEPS A DAY, BIRTHDAYS INCLUDED.
Prisha says, THAT MUST BE WHY THEY WORE THEM AND RISKED DETENTION TONIGHT. SERIOUSLY DEDICATED.
Salwa says, THAT DATA IS LIKE GOLD TO THEM. IF WE WANT TO BEAT THEM, WE GOTTA TRAIN LIKE THEM.
(Horn honking)
Rayan calls, SIS, COME ON.
Salwa says, I GOTTA SPLIT, OR RAYAN'S GONNA FREAK AND BABA'S GONNA BLOW.
Rayan says, YALLA.
Salwa says, I'M COMING, SIS. OH, YOU'RE SO IMPATIENT.
(Music playing)
Plates are stacked. Mikey washes them in a large bowl. Tiffany walks over to him.
Mikey says, GOT ANOTHER PLATE FOR ME?
Tiffany says, OVERHEARD YOUR LITTLE CHAT WITH CRAPPER BEFORE.
Mikey says, WAIT, WHAT?
Tiffany says, BE TOTES TRAG IF YOUR BROS FOUND OUT YOU WERE PLANNING TO DITCH THEM FOR RUGBY AND GO TO BUTTERFIELD.
Tiffany holds up her empty hand.
Tiffany asks, SEE THIS?
Mikey says, NO, YOU'RE MIMING, BRO.
Tiffany says, LOOK A LITTLE HARDER BECAUSE IT'S A BIG OLD ACE AND I'M HOLDING IT, OKAY?
Mikey says, YOU MEAN METAPHORICALLY, RIGHT?
Tiffany says, YES, METAPHORICALLY. WHEN DID YOU TAKE THE LITERAL PILL? ANYWAYS, I'LL SAVE THIS FOR LATER. NEVER KNOW WHEN I'LL NEED IT.
Mikey stares.
Tiffany says, SEE YOU LATER, MIKEY MIKE. MISSED A SPOT.
(Music playing)
Tiffany walks away. Mikey scrubs a plate.
(Music playing)
End credits read:
Directed by Darren Ashton
Story Developed by Guy Edmonds, Matt Zeremes and Catherine Nebauer.
Series Producer Joe Weatherstone
Executive Producers Catherine Nebauer, Bernadette O’Mahoney, Jan Stradling
Cast:
Mikey, Semisi Cheekam
Salwa, Reannah Hamdam
Jerry, Logan Reberger
Tiffany, Erin Choy
Prisha, Holly Simon
Ivanka, Ella Holowell
Viktor, Sam Everingham
Logo: Australian Children’s Television Foundation
Logo: Create NSW
Logo: Northern Pictures
Singing, HARDBALL
Logo: ABC
Copyright 2021 Northern Pictures Pty Ltd., Australian Broadcasting Corporation, Create NSQ and Screen Australia.
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