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Transcript: You're a star
Kids dance as they sing a rap a song. They wear uniforms.
They sing, A NEW DAY DAWNS IN
THE WILD, WILD WEST.
WHERE THE STATE WILL DISCOVER
WHO WILL BE THE BEST, TOO
AND YOU KNOW WHEN THE GOING
GETS TOUGH.
Text reads, Screen Australia and The Australian Broadcasting Corporation present in association with The Australian Children’s Television Foundation and Screen NSW, a Northern Pictures Production.
The kids sing, TEAM MAHAKI DIGS DOWN
TO USE THE RIGHT STUFF
'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY
HANDBALL
THEN YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE IT
YOUR ALL.
Students Mikey, Salwa, Jerry and Tiffany are about 12 years old. Mikey has short dark hair. Salwa has long brown hair. Jerry has short, thick brown hair. Tiffany has long dark brown hair and glasses.
The kids sing, COME ON!
Twins Viktor and Ivanka wear matching green coats. They dance in an alley with other kids.
The kids sing, 'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY
HANDBALL
YOU'VE GOTTA THINK BIG
NOT SMALL.
IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL
THEN YOU'VE GOTTA PLAY
HARDBALL
Text reads, created and written by Guy Edmonds and Matt Zeremes. Hardball.
At home, Mikey wears his school uniform.
He says, WHAT'S TODAY'S SPECIAL PLAN,
YOU ASK?
SIMPLE, WE LEAVE HOME IN THIS.
Mikey holds up a toy car.
(Engine revving)
He says, WE GO TO REGIONALS.
Mikey moves the car through a cardboard city. He walks around the table the city’s on. Auntie follows him.
(Tires screeching)
Mikey says, I PLAY, ESCAPE REGIONALS AFTER
ROUND ONE.
YOU MEET ME OUT BACK AT 11:30
ON THE DOT.
I GET INTO YOUR CAR.
(Engines revving)
Mikey moves the toy car back through the cardboard city.
He says, WE PICK DADDY UP FROM THE GYM.
(Horn honking)
(Tires screeching)
Mikey moves the car around the cardboard city. Auntie follows him.
Mikey says, WE GO TO BUTTERFIELD FOR THE
INTERVIEW AT MIDDAY.
I ACE IT, WE GET BACK INTO
YOUR CAR.
The car moves through the city.
Mikey says, GO BACK TO REGIONALS BEFORE
ROUND TWO STARTS.
HOW DO WE GET THERE IN TIME,
YOU ASK?
GOOD QUESTION.
YOUR SKUX DRIVING.
DO WE TELL ANYONE?
NOT A SOUL, TOO RISKY.
Auntie asks, WHY ARE YOU ANSWERING YOUR
OWN QUESTIONS, BOY?
Mikey says, BUILD SUSPENSE AND STUFF.
Auntie says, ALL THIS RUNNING AROUND
BEHIND PEOPLE'S BACKS IS GONNA
GET YOU IN TROUBLE.
Mikey says, UNTIL I GET A SCHOLARSHIP
OFFER…
Mikey whispers, …IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A
THING.
Auntie says, ALL RIGHT, THEN WHAT?
Mikey says, WELL THEN, YOU DROP ME OFF
OUT BACK BUT I'LL ENTER THROUGH
THE FRONT.
THEN YOU'LL BE FREE BY THREE,
WITH A TEA, TO WATCH WHO WANTS
TO BE A ZILLIONAIRE WITH MIKE
MCLEE, CLEAR?
(Record scratching)
Auntie says, CRYSTAL.
Mikey nods. Auntie starts a car. Mikey clips on a seatbelt. Auntie revs the engine. Salwa sits in the back seat.
She says, WHEN I WAS A KID, I DID KUNG
FU WITH MY COUSINS.
GRADING FOR BELTS, FULLY
STRESSFUL, I COULDN'T SLEEP OR
ANYTHING.
DIDN'T MATTER ANYWAY, MY COUSIN
GOT EXPELLED FOR FARTING.
Mikey asks, WHAT'S YOUR POINT, BRO?
Salwa says, STUFF LIKE REGIONALS CAN BE
STRESSFUL AND I THINK I'M
STRESSED.
I'M FINE TO FAIL, IT'S JUST...
Mikey says, WHAT ABOUT YESTERDAY?
YOU WENT TOTAL APE AT STARCADE
FIVE BILLION.
Salwa says, THAT WAS A BLIP, BRO.
Mikey asks, YOU SURE, BRO?
Salwa says, YEAH.
THE MAHAKI WAY ALL THE WAY, BRO.
BUT JUST TO BE CLEAR, I WANT TO
WIN.
BUT IF WE DO FAIL, THAT'S FINE.
BUT I WANT TO WIN.
Mikey says, WE WILL.
Salwa says, GOOD.
SO WHAT'S YOUR HECTIC PLAN?
Mikey says, UH, PLAN?
THERE'S NO HECTIC PLAN HERE.
Salwa asks, WHAT?
THIS IS REGIONALS, BRO!
WE NEED A HECTIC PLAN!
Mikey says, UH...
He stammers.
Salwa asks, YOU BLEND YOUR BRAIN, BRO?
Auntie says, THE PLAN'S SIMPLE, EH, BOY?
Mikey says, WAIT, THERE'S NO…
Auntie says, THE PLAN IS TO KICK BUTT AT
REGIONALS, RIGHT?
Auntie winks at Mikey.
Mikey says, YEAH, THAT, THAT'S THE PLAN.
YEAH, THAT WAS ALWAYS THE PLAN.
A sign reads, Regional Handball Tournament Today.
Prisha says, COME ON GUYS, WE'VE
GOTTA SIGN IN.
Salwa, Mikey and Prisha take name tags from a table. They glance upwards.
(Dramatic music plays)
Team Mahaki watch an elevator lower with Tiffany, Ivanka and Viktor. In slow motion, they walk out of the elevator. They walk past Salwa, Mikey and Prisha. The elevator dings.
A person says, OKAY, SO TODAY IS REGIONALS.
Stone stands beside Steele on a handball square in a gym. Stone wears a black suit and Steele a white suit. Lance and Lily stand on either side of them with pom-poms.
Stone says, THE LAST STOP BEFORE THE BIGGIE,
STATIES!
AMAZE WORK TO ALL EIGHT TEAMS
MAKING IT THUS FAR.
Steele says, YEAH, BUT ONLY TWO TEAMS CAN
MAKE IT THROUGH TO THE FINAL
TOURNAMENT, WHERE WE'LL FIND THE
GREATEST IN THE STATEST.
Bao says, LESS TALKING, SIRS.
OLD SCHOOL TIME TODAY.
MY WHISTLE'S FINAL.
Bao blows a kazoo.
Stone says, OKAY, SO THE MORNING SESH
WILL SEE ALL EIGHT TEAMS BATTLE
IT OUT IN A FIRST TO FIVE.
WINNER MUST WIN BY TWO.
Viktor and Prisha briefly make eye contact.
Stone adds, LOSERS ARE OUT.
AFTER THAT, THERE WILL BE FOUR.
Steele says, TEAMS, THAT IS, AND THEY'LL
PLAY IN THE AFTERNOON SESH.
THE TWO WINNERS BOOK A TICKET
TO STATIES.
Mikey and Salwa smile.
Steele says, ROUND ONE, TWO MINS, OKAY?
Bao blows his kazoo.
(Applause)
Tiffany and Ivanka compete in a game against a team that wears green shirts.
(Kazoo)
(Applause)
(Cheering)
A scoreboard reads, Regional Handball Finals, Team Volkov and Team Boomshaka. Each teams are zeros. Team Volkov’s changes to 1. Tiffany and Ivanka nod at each other. They compete in another round with Team Boomshaka. Their score rapidly increases to 5 points. Team Boomshaka walks off the square. The board tracking the competition has Team Boomshaka crossed out and Team Volkov in the semi-finals position. Team Boomshaka frowns.
A person says, WE NEED TO PUT THEM UNDER
MORE PRESSURE.
Viktor walks with Tiffany and Ivanka.
He adds, OUR NEXT OPPONENT MAY NOT PLAY
LIKE A BABY BABOON.
Tiffany says, HEY VIK, WE WON.
The Volkov twins turn suddenly to face Tiffany. They cross their arms.
Viktor says, WE WON'T NEXT TIME IF YOU
PLAY LIKE A BABY BABOON.
Tiffany says, TAKE A CHILL PILL, BILL.
Ivanka says, IT'S VIKTOR.
WE CHILL, WE LOSE.
Tiffany sighs.
She says, UGH, GONNA GET SOME FRESH.
BE BACK IN A MO', KAY?
Tiffany turns and starts to walk away.
She says to herself, "SURE, TIFF.
"NICE WORK IN THE GAME.
"THANKS, V'S, YOU ROCK."
The twins glance at each other. They watch Tiffany leave. Mikey sits in a chair as he pulls on a shoe in the space sectioned off for Team Mahaki. Salwa leans against a bar on the fencing separating their team from the next.
She asks, OI, YOU SWEET?
Mikey says, YEAH, I'M SWEETER THAN THAT
BRO THAT WENT TO THE CHOCOLATE
FACTORY.
Salwa says, YOUR BRAIN'S CHOCOLATE, BRO.
Mikey asks, WHY?
Salwa says, YOU GOT YOUR SHOES BACK TO
FRONT.
Mikey’s shoes are on the wrong feet.
He says, OH, UH, I'M AMBI-SHOE-STROUS.
Salwa asks, WHAT?
Mikey says, NEVER MIND, JUST EXCITED.
A clock reads, 10:30. Beside, text reads, Chronos, official timekeeper of the Statewide Handball Championships.
Mikey says, ONE HOUR TO GO.
A QUICK GAME'S A GOOD GAME, EH?
Prisha says, OKAY, GANG, IT'S GAME TIME.
An audience sitting on bleachers applauds.
Lance and Lily cheer, WE'RE TEAM MAHAKI, YO!
They shake pom-poms. A team of a girl with two braids and a boy with short hair wears tie-dye shirts and hats. They stretch. They play against Mikey and Salwa. Salwa spins and hits the ball back to the other team. The ball bounces and rolls off the square. Bao blows his kazoo.
(Applause)
(Cheering)
The scoreboard changes Team Mahaki’s 3 points to 4 while Team Chilltown remains with 0.
Salwa says, WE GOT THIS, BRO.
Bao says, MATCH POINT.
MAHAKI TEAM.
The timekeeper clock reads, 10:50.
Mikey comments, LOVE IT WHEN THINGS GO TO
PLAN.
Team Chilltown rips the sleeves off their t-shirts. Mikey looks uneasy. He takes a step back. The Chilltown player with short hair beats his chest. Salwa’s eyes widen.
The boy serves to Salwa and she misses.
(Kazoo)
The Chilltown teammates high-five. Bao blows his kazoo. The game continues. Team Chilltown’s points on the scoreboard increase to 4.
Bao says, TIE BREAK.
MUST WIN BY TWO.
Salwa serves. The boy on Team Chilltown returns the ball and Mikey hits it back. Team Mahaki gains a point making the score 5-4. Lily and Lance cheer. The game continues and Team Chilltown gains a point. The scoreboard reads, 5-5. Outside, Auntie pulls up in a blue car. She looks around.
She says, HURRY UP, BOY.
In the gym, Mikey serves. The ball returns and he hits it back.
Mikey says, YES!
Bao blows his kazoo.
(Applause)
(Cheering)
The scoreboard changes to Team Mahaki 6, Team Chilltown 5. Mikey serves but misses the return.
He says, WHAT?
The points on the scoreboard increase rapidly. It stops when Team Mahaki as 44 points and Team Chilltown has 43. The time reads, 11:29. Mikey looks at the time and drops his head.
Bao says, MATCH POINT, MAHAKI TEAM.
In the car, Auntie asks, WHERE ARE YOU, BOY?
Salwa says, THIS TIME WE TOTALLY GOT
THEM, BRO.
Mikey says, YEAH.
Prisha says, STAY WITH IT, GANG.
Lance says, WE…
Lily says, WE'RE TEAM MAHAKI.
Lance says, …WE’RE TEAM MAHAKI.
Mikey serves. The game continues with all players looking tired. Mikey returns the ball and Team Chilltown fails to hit it back.
(Kazoo)
Salwa says, WE WON!
Mikey lets out a sigh of relief.
(Applause)
(Cheering)
The board tracking the competition has Team Chilltown crossed out and Team Mahaki in the lead. Salwa and Mikey high five. Mikey drops to the floor. In Auntie’s car, the time reads, 11:40.
(Honking)
Auntie calls, HURRY UP, BOY!
She leans back in her seat and says, GEEZ!
In the gym, Team Mahaki stands in their team’s space.
Prisha says, GOOD NEWS, GANG.
WE'VE GOT TIME TO REST BEFORE
THE AFTERNOON MATCH.
GOTTA RECOVER.
Mikey turns to the clock which reads, 11:41.
Mikey says, ON THAT, DADDY HAS A SPECIAL
DRINK AT HOME AND IT HAS
ELECTRICITY IN IT.
Salwa says, SICK, I'LL TAKE 10.
Prisha asks, SO WHAT, IT'S LIKE A SPORTS
DRINK?
Mikey says, YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.
Prisha says, GREAT, I'LL GO GRAB SOME.
Mikey says, UH, NO, YOU SEE, DADDY USES
THE ONE THAT THE BULLFROGS USE.
I SHOULD GO HOME AND GET THE
SPECIAL ONE, EH?
Salwa says, PRISHA CAN GRAB IT FOR YOU.
Mikey explains, AUNTIE HATES VISITORS.
I'LL GO.
Prisha says, YOU NEED TO REST.
Mikey says, WE'VE GOT HEAPS OF TIME.
I'LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN
SAY "UNICORN POOP."
Prisha and Salwa say, UNICORN POOP.
Mikey takes off. He rushes outside with his bag and sweater. Tiffany sits outside. Mikey shoves his sweater in his bag.
Tiffany asks, WHERE YOU HEADED?
Mikey says, NOWHERE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Tiffany says, JUST HANGING.
Mikey asks, WITH WHO?
Tiffany says, ME, MYSELF AND I.
SAY HI, EVERYBODY.
Mikey says, I'M, I'M CONFUSED.
BETTER GO GET A MAGICAL DRINK
FROM DADDY.
Tiffany says, CHANGE OF CLOTHES, HUH?
Mikey says, I'M A SWEATER.
Tiffany says, LOOKS LIKE THE KIND OF OUTFIT
THAT YOU'D WEAR TO AN INTERVIEW.
AT A SCHOOL THAT YOU –
Mikey cuts Tiffany off.
He says, OKAY, FINE.
Tiffany says, LIFE'D BE SIMPLER IF YOU JUST
TOLD YOUR PACT BROS, BRO.
Mikey says, I WILL.
IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, WHICH IT
HASN'T, SO ...
Tiffany says, THIS SNEAKING AROUND BIZZO
DOESN'T SUIT YOU, 'KAY?
Mikey says, I KNOW, BUT I'M DEALING WITH
IT IN MY OWN WAY.
YOU'RE STILL A PACT BRO, BRO.
SPEAKING OF, GOT A PRETTY
MESSED UP VIDEO FROM JERRY.
THE VOLKOVS, THEY'RE BAD EGGS,
BRO.
Tiffany says, TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T
KNOW.
Mikey says, I'M JUST SAYING, WATCH YOUR
BACK, BRO.
AND I'M ONLY TELLING YOU BECAUSE
YOU'RE STILL A PACT BRO TO ME,
BRO.
Tiffany says, BETTER GET TO BUTTERFIELD.
Mikey says, ABOUT THAT, PLEASE DON'T TELL
ANYONE.
Tiffany just looks at Mikey. Mikey runs off. Tiffany watches him run down a path. He reaches Auntie’s car, tosses his bag in and climbs in.
Auntie says, GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN
SIT IN A CAR AND SLEEP, BOY.
Mikey says, I KNOW.
Auntie says, GOT LOTS ON MY PLATE, BUSY
DAY.
Mikey says, I KNOW, I'M SORRY, EH.
Auntie says, YOU'RE NOT EVEN DRESSED, BOY.
Mikey says, OH, YEAH.
PRIVACY, PLEASE.
Auntie blocks her eyes. The car wobbles. In a new outfit, Mikey adjusts his collar.
He says, DONE.
Auntie looks over Mikey’s outfit.
She says, TOOK YOUR TIME.
Auntie drives off.
She says, ALL THIS RUNNING AROUND BEHIND
PEOPLE'S BACKS IS DISHONEST,
BOY.
Mikey says, I KNOW.
Auntie says, DISHONEST AS.
WHEN THE OIL LIGHT FLASHES UP ON
YOUR CAR AND YOU KEEP DRIVING,
MAYBE NOT AFTER ONE WEEK, OR ONE
MONTH, BUT EVENTUALLY THE CAR'S
ENGINE WILL EXPLODE WHEN YOU'RE
OUT BUYING CHICKEN WRAPS.
AND THEN YOUR CHICKEN WRAPS WILL
GO COLD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL
WITH BUSTED ENGINES.
AND NOBODY LIKES COLD CHICKEN
WRAPS OR BUSTED ENGINES.
Mikey says, I'LL DEAL WITH IT, AUNTIE.
PS, COLD CHICKEN WRAPS ARE SKUX.
BUT I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU'RE
COMING FROM, SORT OF.
At the competition, Steele and Stone stand beside each other.
Steele says, BIT OF A BOOKING ISH.
THE LOCAL AIR GUITAR SOCIETY
HAS THE SPACE BOOKED FROM TWO.
Stone adds, PM.
Steele says, TODAY.
Stone says, NOT FOUR.
LIKE WE THOUGHT.
Steele says, I TRIED TO NEGOTIATE BUT I
CHICKENED OUT.
TBH, THEY LOOK LETHAL.
A woman wearing a leather jacket plays an air guitar. Her hair blows with wind. She stands with two other people with their arms crossed.
(Electric guitar solo)
Stone says, BUT IT'S COOLIO, IT'S COOLIO.
WE'LL JUST ADAPT.
Steele nods.
He says, AND BY ADAPT, WE MEAN PUSH
ALL GAMES FORWARD BY AN HOUR.
STARTING NOW.
Prisha says, UH, JAYDEN, BEV?
One of the men says YEAH?
Prisha says, MY TEAM'S RECOVERING.
Steele and Stone look over to the air guitar society members, who shrug.
Stone says, PRISH, UNFORTCH, THAT'S THE
WAY THE COOK CRUMBS.
Steele says, NOW IT'S TEAM MAHAKI VERSUS
TEAM CREED.
Auntie stops the car at home.
Mikey asks, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
Auntie says, PICKING UP DADDY.
Mikey says, DADDY'S AT THE GYM.
Auntie says, DADDY'S AT THE GYM.
Mikey says, DADDY... DADDY'S AT THE GYM!
Auntie says, MY BAD.
The cars time reads, 11:50.
Auntie says, NO TIME FOR THE GYM, BOY,
UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE LATE.
Mikey says, I NEED DADDY, UNLESS YOU WANT
TO BE MY MORAL SUPPORT.
Auntie nods.
She says, THE GYM IT IS.
Auntie starts the car and backs up. At the competition, Salwa holds her phone. She looks nervous. Bao joins her.
Bao asks, YOU READY FOR GAME TIME?
Salwa says, YEAH BRO, JUST NEED A MINUTE.
Bao says, OKAY, BE QUICK.
He leaves.
Salwa says, YEAH.
COME ON MIKEY, ANSWER.
(Ringing)
Mikey’s phone rings. He ignores it. Daddy climbs in the back seat.
He asks, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Auntie stammers.
Daddy asks, WHAT?
Mikey says, DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE GONNA BE HEAPS LATE.
LET'S GO, AUNTIE.
Auntie drives. Mikey looks nervous.
At the competition, Salwa holds her phone to her ear as it rings, then lowers it.
Lance asks, HOW DID I KNOW THERE
WOULD BE CONSEQUENCES FOR MY
ACTIONS?
Lily and Lance walk up to Salwa.
Salwa says, HEY, HEY, HEY.
OI, L'S, I'M IN A JAM.
Lile says, YUM.
Salwa says, NO, THE TYPE OF JAM WHERE
MIKEY'S MISSING FROM THE
HANDBALL SANDWICH.
Lile says, I LOVE JAM.
Salwa asks, DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT JAM.
Lily says, BUT YOU SAID…
Lance says, YOU KNOW, I'M MORE OF A
STRAWBERRY KIND OF GUY.
Salwa says, GUYS, FORGET ABOUT THE JAM.
MIKEY'S NOT HERE TO PLAY.
Lance says, AND YOU WANT ME TO TAKE HIS
PLACE?
Salwa says, NO, PLEASE, NO WAY.
BUT, UM, YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE
SICK, BUY ME SOME TIME.
Lance says, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT
PEOPLE FOR TIME WASTING!
Lily and Lance run out to the gym wile shaking their pom-poms.
Salwa says, YEAH, I REALISE.
In the car, Mikey says, WE SHOULD BE THERE BY NOW,
AUNTIE.
CAN'T WE GO ANY FASTER?
Auntie says, DO YOU WANT A SPEEDING
TICKET, BOY?
In the gym, a boom box is placed on the floor. Lance puts on sunglasses and starts dancing.
(Funky music plays)
Lily and Lance dance on the competition square. Lily also wears sunglasses. The members of the air guitar society nod their heads to the music. Prisha holds her phone.
She listens to Mikey say, HEY, YOU'VE CALLED MIKEY.
LEAVE A MESSAGE.
Prisha hangs up. Salwa watches Lance and Lily dance.
In the car, Daddy says, BOY, WE'LL GET THERE WHEN WE
GET THERE, EH?
JUST BREATHE.
In the gym, the members of the air guitar society join Lance and Lily in their dance. Lance plays an air guitar. The audience nods their head to the music. Prisha joins Salwa.
Prisha asks, SAL, YOU TRIED CALLING MIKEY?
Salwa says, ONLY 17 TIMES AND I EVEN
CALLED JERRY AND TOLD HIM TO
CALL MIKEY.
In the car, Mikey looks nervous. In the gym, Lance rocks out.
(Applause)
Bao blows his kazoo.
He says, WASTING STOPS NOW.
MAHAKI TEAM VERSUS CREED TEAM,
NOW O'CLOCK.
The members of Team Volkov turn to Salwa and Prisha. Salwa fakes a groan. She leans on Prisha and grabs her ankle.
Bao asks, WHAT'S WRONG?
Salwa says, OH, IT'S MY, UM, MY FASCIA
ANKLE DELTOIDITIS.
Tiffany says, PRETTY SURE THAT'S NOT A
THING.
Salwa says, ARE YOU A DOCTOR?
Tiffany says, NO.
Salwa says, SO CAN IT, CANNY.
Bao asks, WHAT'S WRONG, SALLY?
Salwa says, IT'S A RARE ANKLE THING, BRO,
AND IT'S FLARED UP.
Bao asks, YOU FORFEIT GAME TIME?
Salwa says, I JUST NEED 10 MINUTES TO ICE
IT.
MAKE IT 20.
Bao says, HMM.
Salwa groans.
Bao says, OKAY, WE PLAY NEXT GAME NOW,
BUT IF YOUR ANKLE ISN'T HAPPY
IN 20, YOU LOSE TIME.
VOLKOV, BING BONG, PLAY TIME!
Bao blows his kazoo. Team Volkov turn to the gym.
Prisha asks, IS THAT FASCIA THING REAL?
Salwa says, NO, BUT I BOUGHT US SOME
TIME.
Prisha says, I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT
THIS.
Salwa asks, DO YOU HAVE A BETTER PLAN,
PRISHA?
Auntie drives up to Butterfield. Daddy and Mikey open their doors.
Auntie says, says, EH, BOY, YOU'RE IN FIFTH GEAR
RIGHT NOW.
MAKE SURE YOU DROP BACK INTO
THIRD.
Mikey says, I'M NOT A CAR, AUNTIE.
Auntie says, IT'S A META-THING.
IT MEANS "CHILL."
Mikey says, CHOICE, I GOTTA GO, EH.
Mikey and Daddy jump out of the car. They run inside as Auntie drives away. They run up a staircase. They peak up and over a railing only to find multiple levels of stairs. They groan. They run up the stairs and down a hall. When they spot Ms. Blapper in a mezzanine they catch their breath, and jog to her.
Ms. Blapper says, YOU'RE RATHER LATE.
Mikey says, SORRY, MS.
Ms. Blapper says, OH, AND YOUR FATHER'S HERE.
Mikey says, YEAH, DADDY, MORAL SUPPORT.
SWEET?
Ms. Blapper says, YES, I'VE HEARD ALL ABOUT YOU
FROM MY SISTER.
Daddy says, OH, MS. C IS ONE CRAZY FOOTY
FAN.
Ms. Blapper says, THAT SHE IS.
NOW, THE BOARD IS WAITING.
SHALL WE?
Daddy asks, GIVE US A SEC, PLEASE, MS.?
Ms. Blapper says, OF COURSE.
BUT PLEASE BE QUICK.
Ms. Blapper heads indoors.
Mikey says, DADDY, I'M SWEATING, MY LIPS
ARE DRY AND I'M…
Daddy cuts Mikey off.
He says, NERVES ARE GOOD, BOY.
IT MEANS YOU CARE.
REMEMBER WHAT AUNTIE SAID ABOUT
GEARS?
Mikey says, YEAH, WHAT GEAR SHOULD I BE
IN?
Daddy says, THREE'S SWEET, JUST BREATHE.
Mikey takes a deep breath.
Daddy says, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,
I THINK YOU'RE SKUX.
NOW GO SHOW THEM THE MAN YOU
ARE, BOY.
Daddy hugs Mikey and they head inside. They take seats facing Ms. Blapper, who is seated between two men and two women on either side of her.
Ms. Blapper says, LET'S BEGIN.
The board open folders. Back at the competition, Salwa holds an ice pack. The scoreboard reads, Team Volkov 5, Team Bing Bong 0. The board tracking the competition crosses out Team Bing Bong, leaving Team Volkov in the finals. Tiffany pops a small confetti cannon.
Salwa calls, LUCKY, BRO.
Ivanka says, LIKE I WAS LUCKY AT STARCADE
FIVE BILLION?
Salwa whispers, LUCKY.
Mikey says, SO, YEAH…
He sits beside Daddy at Butterfield.
He adds, …I THINK I FIT THE
CRITERIA FOR THE CURRIED EGG
BUTTERFIELD SCHOLARSHIP.
Ms. Blapper says, COVETED BUTTERFIELD
SCHOLARSHIP.
Mikey says, OH, I KNEW THAT.
I WAS JUST TESTING YOU, EH.
AND LUCKY FOR YOU, YOU PASSED.
Ms. Blapper says, YOUR ACADEMIC AND SPORTING
PROWESS IS CLEAR.
HOWEVER, BUTTERFIELD IS MUCH
MORE THAN THAT.
Mikey says, I GET THAT, IT'S LIKE A WAY
OF LIFE, EH?
Ms. Blapper says, EXACTLY.
Mikey says, AND I'M KEEN TO BE A PART OF
THAT WAY OF LIFE.
Salwa says, PHONES ARE FOR
PICKING UP, BRO.
Salwa sits in a chair in the gym at the competition.
Bao says, TIME UP TIME.
Salwa asks, ALREADY?
Bao says, TRUTH TIME.
Salwa says, BUT MY FASCIA ANKLE
DELTOIDITIS.
Bao says, FASCIA BLANKLE DINKLE WINKLE.
FALSE.
Salwa says, BUT MY DOCTOR SAID THAT MY
FASCIA ANKLE DELTOIDITIS WAS
FULLY FULL ON.
Bao says, BASCIA KASHIA NINKLE SPRINKLE
NOT REAL!
I LOOKED IT UP.
NO STALLING TIME NOW.
Tiffany says, YEAH, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO
AND FIND MIKEY FOR YOU?
I'M SURE HE'S AROUND HERE
SOMEWHERE, RIGHT?
Salwa says, NO, NO, NO, IT'S OKAY.
I'LL GET HIM.
Salwa looks behind her.
She calls, UM, PRISHA?
PRISHA!
Prisha says, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
Prisha stands behind everyone. They turn suddenly. Prisha retracts a measuring tape.
She says, THIS COURT'S NOT REGULATION
SIZE.
Stone, Steele, Lily, Lance, Tiffany, Bao, Viktor, Ivanka and Salwa all gasp dramatically.
Ms. Blapper says, MIKEY, BUTTERFIELD'S WAY OF
LIFE IS FIDE VERITATIS.
Mikey asks, WHO'S THAT?
Ms. Blapper says, NO, IT'S OUR MOTTO.
Mikey says, OH, UH, YEAH.
TRUTH AND LOYALTY, EH?
Ms. Blapper says, EXACTLY, IMPRESSIVE.
TRUTH AND LOYALTY ARE
BUTTERFIELD'S BEDROCK.
Mikey says, OKAY.
Ms. Blapper says, FOR US TO OFFER YOU THIS
SCHOLARSHIP, WE NEED TO BE A
PERFECT FIT.
Mikey says, OH, NO ROUND PEGS IN SQUARE
HOLES HERE.
Ms. Blapper says, MIKEY, WE TAKE THIS VERY
SERIOUSLY.
WE ARE UNITED IN OUR QUEST FOR
TRUTH AND LOYALTY.
ARE WE A GOOD FIT?
Mikey says, UM ...
Ms. Blapper asks, MIKEY.
She and the rest of the board lean forward with their hands crossed.
Ms. Blapper asks, ARE YOU FIDE VERITATIS?
Daddy says, HE'S THE MOST FIDE VERITATIS
BOY YOU'LL EVER MEET, EH.
Mikey says, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF I'M BEING FIDO EGG FRITTATAS,
THEN I'M NOT A GOOD FIT.
I'VE BEEN LYING TO MY BROS ABOUT
THIS FOR WEEKS, AND WE MADE A
PACT THAT I'D BE BREAKING IF I
CAME HERE, AND I JUST KEPT LYING
ABOUT IT.
DADDY SAID, "SHOW YOU THE MAN
I AM."
SO YEAH, I'M NOT FIBRO
ENCHILADAS.
I'M WHATEVER THE LATIN IS FOR
NOT THAT.
Ms. Blapper looks thoughtful. At the competition, Prisha and Viktor retract their measuring tapes from the handball square.
Prisha asks, ANYTHING?
Salwa says, NAH, HE'S NOT BACK YET.
Prisha stands beside Salwa.
Salwa says, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T ALL RIGHT
WITH STALLING?
Prisha says, NO, SERIOUSLY THE COURT'S
HALF A CENTIMETRE TOO SMALL.
Salwa asks, DOES IT EVEN MATTER?
Prisha says, RULES ARE RULES.
PLUS IT BUYS US TIME, WIN-WIN.
Prisha turns to face Team Volkov.
She says, RULES STATE THAT THE COURT IS
SUPPOSED TO BE 200 CENTIMETRES.
I'VE GOT 199.5.
Tiffany groans.
She says, OH, ENOUGH OKAY.
JUST GET ON WITH THE GAME.
YOU'RE OBVI STALLING.
(Dramatic music plays)
Stone gasps. He looks around at the others by the square.
He says, SORRY, I THOUGHT WE WERE
DOING THE "GASP" THING AGAIN.
Steele asks, ARE YOU GUYS STALLING?
BECAUSE IF SO, THAT'S NOT OKAY,
OKAY.
THOSE AIR GUITAR KIDS ARE
LETHAL.
Everyone turns to the members of the air guitar society. They play air guitars as electric guitar music plays.
Prisha says, I'M NOT STALLING.
I'VE LEGIT GOT 199.5.
Viktor says, I GOT 200.2, BUT YOU'RE
SPLITTING HAIRS.
WHO CARES?
Prisha says, THE RULES CARE.
Viktor says, RULES CAN BE BENT.
Prisha says, NO, MR. BENDY, RULES ARE
RULES.
RIGHT BAO?
Bao says, MEASURING TAPE ARE LIKE
DIFFERENT KOI.
SOME A LITTLE BIG, SOME ARE
SMALL.
LET'S JUST PLAY TIME.
Prisha says, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE THE REF, YOUR RULES.
Bao says, IF MAHAKI TEAM NOT READY TO
PLAY TIME BY THE TIME I FINISH
THIS SENTENCE, MAHAKI TEAM
FORFEIT…
Bao is cut off by Mikey rushing into the gym through a side door.
Bao says, LUCKY DAY TIME.
MAHAKI TEAM, CREED TEAM,
GAME ON.
Bao blows his kazoo. Mikey drops his bag in a chair.
Prisha asks, WHERE'S THE SPORTS DRINKS?
Mikey says, DADDY DRANK THEM ALL.
Salwa says, YOU NEARLY GOT US KICKED OUT.
Mikey says, BUT I DIDN'T, DID I?
Salwa asks, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
Mikey says, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS,
ALL RIGHT.
WE HAVE A GAME TO WIN.
Salwa and Prisha says, BUT…
Mikey says, IT'S JUST I REALLY WANTED
THAT ELECTRIC DRINK BUT ALL I
GOT WAS FIDO'S ENCHILADAS AND
YOU GUYS ARE ALL UP IN MY FACE
WHEN ALL I WANT IS A CUDDLE.
BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M A SQUARE
PEG IN A ROUND HOLE, AND NOW WE
HAVE TO PLAY BALL.
A crowd cheers and applauds. Bao stands at the hardball square. Mikey and Salwa join players wearing yellow shirts on the square. The player with curly hair cracks his knuckles.
(Kazoo)
Mikey serves. The ball bounces past the player with short hair.
(Kazoo)
The scoreboard counts 1 point for Team Mahaki, 0 for Team Creed. Mikey plays very aggressively. Salwa looks confused as she watches Mikey increase their score to 5. Mikey grunts as he plays.
(Applause)
(Cheering)
(Kazoo)
Salwa says, WE WON!
YES, GOOD JOB!
Salwa and Mikey high five with both hands. Team Creed looks disappointed. A card that reads, Team Mahaki is placed beside the card that reads Team Volkov on the competition board. Prisha stands with Salwa and Mikey.
Prisha says, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU PLAY LIKE
THAT.
Salwa says, YEAH, BRO, YOU, YOU WERE ON
FIRE.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
Mikey says, I GUESS I DID IT FOR YOU
BROS.
THIS IS WHERE I'M MEANT TO BE,
EH?
Salwa says, DUH, WHERE ELSE?
The team shares a group high-five. Stone and Steele stand holding a small trophy each.
Steele says, NEXT STOP?
Stone and Steele hand their trophies to the players on either side of them. Stone hands his to Team Volkovand Steele to Team Mahaki.
Stone and Steele say, STATIES!
(Applause)
(Cheering)
Viktor reluctantly claps while he glares. Bao smiles. The celebrations suddenly stop and everyone looks to the left where the air guitar society members play air guitars while electric air guitar music plays.
Stone says, TIME TO GO.
The gymnasium clears. Mikey catches up with Tiffany on their way out.
He says, DIDN'T SPILL THE BEANS, HUH?
Tiffany says, NO POINT, OKAY.
BE GOOD TO HAVE A CHALLENGE
AT STATIES.
Mikey says, NO OTHER REASON, LIKE
SECRETLY A PACT BRO, BRO?
Tiffany says, KEEP DREAMING.
LONE WOLF, OKAY.
Mikey says, MY PACT-DAR'S PRETTY CHOICE,
EH, BRO.
Tiffany says, YEAH, YOUR PACT-DAR NEEDS A
TUNE UP, OKAY.
PS, HOW'D YOUR NOT-SO-SECRET
SECRET INTERVIEW GO?
Mikey says, OH, I STUFFED IT, EH, BRO.
Tiffany says, OUCH, YOU'LL BE STICKING
AROUND A BIT LONGER, HUH?
Tiffany pauses and faces Mikey.
Mikey says, YEP, LIKE SHAKES TO YOUR
DADS' FACES.
PS, THEIR WEDDING'S GOING TO BE
SWEET AS.
Mikey nods. He walks past Tiffany, who smiles. A plate of hotdogs and slices of bread is placed on a table. Water is poured into cups. Toppings are added to hot dogs on slices of bread and the food disappears. Hands grab at the last hot dog on the plate. Mikey sits between Salwa and Prisha back at home. He holds his stomach.
Mikey says, SWEET VICTORY SNAGS, AUNTIE.
Auntie asks, FINISHED?
Mikey and Salwa say, YEP.
Auntie says, GOOD, FOLLOW ME.
Auntie gets up from the table.
Salwa says, FOLLOW HER.
The others get up from the table. Auntie walks outside.
Salwa says, OKAY, GO.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO,
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
Mikey says, AUNTIE!
Salwa says, AUNTIE, WAIT UP.
Prisha says, AUNTIE!
Mikey says, TOO FAST.
Prisha, Mikey, Salwa and Daddy follow Auntie. Auntie stops.
She says, SHUT YOUR EYES.
Daddy and Auntie turn the friends and guide them forward.
Mikey asks, YOU THERE, SALWA?
IS THAT YOU?
Auntie says, SHH.
OPEN.
The friends open their eyes and Auntie presses a button. Lights above a hang out spot made from a shipping container light up. They read, Mahaki land.
Auntie says, MAHAKI LAND.
Mikey, Salwa and Prisha say, WOW!
Daddy grins and grabs Auntie’s shoulder.
Mikey asks, THIS, THIS IS WHAT'S BEEN ON
YOUR PLATE?
Auntie says, YEAH, BOY.
Prisha says, AUNTIE, WOW THIS IS...
Salwa says, …FULLY SICK!
Auntie says, IT'S NO BIG DEAL, JUST GOT IT
ALL FROM COUNCIL CLEAN UP.
Prisha says, I WISH JERRY WAS HERE.
Auntie asks, WHY, NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
Prisha says, NO, NO, NO…
Auntie says, AH-AH-AH, JUST JOKING!
LET'S GO!
Auntie pushes her way through, leading the way to Mahaki land.
Daddy says, COME ON!
Auntie says, A PLACE FOR FRIENDS
TO BE FRIENDS ALL THE TIME AND
STUFF.
Salwa, Prisha and Mikey explore their new space.
They say, WHOA!
Salwa says, WOW!
Prisha says, WHOA!
The space is decorated with pictures and other memories of the friends. The friends look around. They look amazed. They turn.
Mikey says, WHOA.
Salwa says, WOW!
On the other side of the space is a comfortable sitting area filled with pillows. Auntie turns and points a remote. Jerry appears on a screen.
He says, GREETINGS FROM ALL THE WAY IN
W.A.
Mikey says, JERRY, BRO, WHAT'S UP?
Salwa and Prisha say, HEY, JERRY, WHAT'S UP?
Jerry says, WELL DONE TODAY, TEAM.
I MUST SAY, AUNTIE MAHAKI,
THIS PLACE LOOKS AMAZING.
EVEN WITH MY DIAL-UP INTERNET
CONNECTION.
Mikey says, AMAZE AS.
Mikey looks at another part of the space.
He asks, WHAT'S THAT?
Daddy says, A TELESCOPE, BOY.
CHECK IT OUT.
Mikey looks in the telescope where four stars shine brightly together.
Jerry asks, WHAT DO YOU SEE, MAHAKI?
Mikey says, JUST SEE, UM,
A BUNCH OF STARS.
Daddy says, NOT JUST ANY STARS, BOY.
YOU SEE THOSE FOUR IN A LINE?
Mikey says, YEAH.
Daddy holds a picture frame.
He says, MIKEY THE BRAVE, PRISHA THE
RIGHTEOUS, JERRY THE BRIGHT,
AND SALWA THE SICK-AS.
AKA "THE MAHAKI CLUSTER."
Salwa holds the frame.
Says, YOU, YOU BOUGHT US STARS?
Daddy says, YEAH, MY BOY LIKES STARS.
Daddy and the friends hug.
The friends hug around Jerry on his video call.
Daddy says, THESE STARS WILL BE TOGETHER
FOREVER, LIKE TEAM MAHAKI.
Auntie smiles. A phone rings. Daddy and Auntie make their way out.
Daddy says, AH, ENJOY YOURSELF, KIDS.
Jerry says, WELL, I DON'T THINK THERE'S
ANY STRONGER PACT BROS THAN US.
Prisha says, YOU SAID IT, JERRY.
Mikey says, PACT BROS TO THE MAX.
Salwa says, YEAH, I MEAN WE HAVE OUR OWN
CLUB HOUSE.
Mikey says, A SICK AS HANDSHAKE.
The friends share a group high-five then pose.
Jerry says, A VIRTUAL HANG OUT.
Prisha says, PLUS OUR OWN STARS.
Mikey says, DOUBLE PLUS, WE CAN HANG OUT
ANY TIME HERE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL
NEXT YEAR.
Jerry says, VERY COOL INDEED, BUT I DO
MISS MY BROS.
IT'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU.
Mikey says, US TOO, BRO, BUT YOU'RE THE
BEE'S KNEES.
SHOULD MAKE SOME W.A. BROS.
Jerry says, WELL, YEAH, BUT...
Mikey says, WE WON'T MIND IF YOU MAKE
MORE BROS, BRO.
Salwa says, YEAH, OF COURSE, BRO.
I MEAN, JUST DON'T FORGET US.
OR ELSE.
Jerry says, POINT TAKEN.
Mikey says, HEY, BROS, UM, I KNOW I'VE
BEEN ACTING STRANGE LATELY.
ADD, UM, I READ SOME LATIN, SO I
NEED TO GET SOMETHING OFF MY
CHEST.
Daddy calls, EH, BOY, PHONE!
Mikey says, I'LL BE BACK.
Mikey leaves the hang out. Prisha looks at Salwa, who shrugs. Mikes takes a phone from Daddy. Daddy squeezes Mikey’s shoulder and leaves. Mikey puts the phone to his ear.
He says, HELLO?
Ms. Blapper says, SORRY FOR THE
LATE CALL.
I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD HEAR IT
FROM ME.
Mikey says, SORRY I WASTED YOUR TIME, MS.
Ms. Blapper says, WASTED MY TIME?
Mikey says, YEAH, I COMPLETELY BOTCHED
THE INTERVIEW.
Ms. Blapper says, FAR FROM IT.
THAT WAS THE MOST HONEST
RESPONSE I'VE EVER SEEN.
Mikey says, SAY WHAT?
Ms. Blapper says, MIKEY, I WOULD OFFICIALLY
LIKE TO OFFER YOU THE
SCHOLARSHIP.
Mikey’s eyes widen. He doesn’t respond.
Ms. Blapper says, MIKEY?
MIKEY, ARE YOU THERE?
Mikey lowers the phone. He looks back at Salwa and Prisha in Mahaki land.
Mikey says, WORST BEST NEWS EVER.
Directed by Guy Edmonds.
Series Producer, Joe Weatherstone.
Executive Producers Catherine Nebauer, Bernadette O’Mahony and Jan Stradling.
Developed with the assistance of and distributed by the Australian Children’s Television Foundation.
NSW, Create NSW, arts, screen and culture. A Northern Pictures Production.
A person sings, HARD BALL, HARD BALL,
HARD BALL, HARD BALL.
Bao dances with a hand.
ABC, developed and produced in association with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.
They sing, A NEW DAY DAWNS IN
THE WILD, WILD WEST.
WHERE THE STATE WILL DISCOVER
WHO WILL BE THE BEST, TOO
AND YOU KNOW WHEN THE GOING
GETS TOUGH.
Text reads, Screen Australia and The Australian Broadcasting Corporation present in association with The Australian Children’s Television Foundation and Screen NSW, a Northern Pictures Production.
The kids sing, TEAM MAHAKI DIGS DOWN
TO USE THE RIGHT STUFF
'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY
HANDBALL
THEN YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE IT
YOUR ALL.
Students Mikey, Salwa, Jerry and Tiffany are about 12 years old. Mikey has short dark hair. Salwa has long brown hair. Jerry has short, thick brown hair. Tiffany has long dark brown hair and glasses.
The kids sing, COME ON!
Twins Viktor and Ivanka wear matching green coats. They dance in an alley with other kids.
The kids sing, 'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY
HANDBALL
YOU'VE GOTTA THINK BIG
NOT SMALL.
IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL
THEN YOU'VE GOTTA PLAY
HARDBALL
Text reads, created and written by Guy Edmonds and Matt Zeremes. Hardball.
At home, Mikey wears his school uniform.
He says, WHAT'S TODAY'S SPECIAL PLAN,
YOU ASK?
SIMPLE, WE LEAVE HOME IN THIS.
Mikey holds up a toy car.
(Engine revving)
He says, WE GO TO REGIONALS.
Mikey moves the car through a cardboard city. He walks around the table the city’s on. Auntie follows him.
(Tires screeching)
Mikey says, I PLAY, ESCAPE REGIONALS AFTER
ROUND ONE.
YOU MEET ME OUT BACK AT 11:30
ON THE DOT.
I GET INTO YOUR CAR.
(Engines revving)
Mikey moves the toy car back through the cardboard city.
He says, WE PICK DADDY UP FROM THE GYM.
(Horn honking)
(Tires screeching)
Mikey moves the car around the cardboard city. Auntie follows him.
Mikey says, WE GO TO BUTTERFIELD FOR THE
INTERVIEW AT MIDDAY.
I ACE IT, WE GET BACK INTO
YOUR CAR.
The car moves through the city.
Mikey says, GO BACK TO REGIONALS BEFORE
ROUND TWO STARTS.
HOW DO WE GET THERE IN TIME,
YOU ASK?
GOOD QUESTION.
YOUR SKUX DRIVING.
DO WE TELL ANYONE?
NOT A SOUL, TOO RISKY.
Auntie asks, WHY ARE YOU ANSWERING YOUR
OWN QUESTIONS, BOY?
Mikey says, BUILD SUSPENSE AND STUFF.
Auntie says, ALL THIS RUNNING AROUND
BEHIND PEOPLE'S BACKS IS GONNA
GET YOU IN TROUBLE.
Mikey says, UNTIL I GET A SCHOLARSHIP
OFFER…
Mikey whispers, …IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A
THING.
Auntie says, ALL RIGHT, THEN WHAT?
Mikey says, WELL THEN, YOU DROP ME OFF
OUT BACK BUT I'LL ENTER THROUGH
THE FRONT.
THEN YOU'LL BE FREE BY THREE,
WITH A TEA, TO WATCH WHO WANTS
TO BE A ZILLIONAIRE WITH MIKE
MCLEE, CLEAR?
(Record scratching)
Auntie says, CRYSTAL.
Mikey nods. Auntie starts a car. Mikey clips on a seatbelt. Auntie revs the engine. Salwa sits in the back seat.
She says, WHEN I WAS A KID, I DID KUNG
FU WITH MY COUSINS.
GRADING FOR BELTS, FULLY
STRESSFUL, I COULDN'T SLEEP OR
ANYTHING.
DIDN'T MATTER ANYWAY, MY COUSIN
GOT EXPELLED FOR FARTING.
Mikey asks, WHAT'S YOUR POINT, BRO?
Salwa says, STUFF LIKE REGIONALS CAN BE
STRESSFUL AND I THINK I'M
STRESSED.
I'M FINE TO FAIL, IT'S JUST...
Mikey says, WHAT ABOUT YESTERDAY?
YOU WENT TOTAL APE AT STARCADE
FIVE BILLION.
Salwa says, THAT WAS A BLIP, BRO.
Mikey asks, YOU SURE, BRO?
Salwa says, YEAH.
THE MAHAKI WAY ALL THE WAY, BRO.
BUT JUST TO BE CLEAR, I WANT TO
WIN.
BUT IF WE DO FAIL, THAT'S FINE.
BUT I WANT TO WIN.
Mikey says, WE WILL.
Salwa says, GOOD.
SO WHAT'S YOUR HECTIC PLAN?
Mikey says, UH, PLAN?
THERE'S NO HECTIC PLAN HERE.
Salwa asks, WHAT?
THIS IS REGIONALS, BRO!
WE NEED A HECTIC PLAN!
Mikey says, UH...
He stammers.
Salwa asks, YOU BLEND YOUR BRAIN, BRO?
Auntie says, THE PLAN'S SIMPLE, EH, BOY?
Mikey says, WAIT, THERE'S NO…
Auntie says, THE PLAN IS TO KICK BUTT AT
REGIONALS, RIGHT?
Auntie winks at Mikey.
Mikey says, YEAH, THAT, THAT'S THE PLAN.
YEAH, THAT WAS ALWAYS THE PLAN.
A sign reads, Regional Handball Tournament Today.
Prisha says, COME ON GUYS, WE'VE
GOTTA SIGN IN.
Salwa, Mikey and Prisha take name tags from a table. They glance upwards.
(Dramatic music plays)
Team Mahaki watch an elevator lower with Tiffany, Ivanka and Viktor. In slow motion, they walk out of the elevator. They walk past Salwa, Mikey and Prisha. The elevator dings.
A person says, OKAY, SO TODAY IS REGIONALS.
Stone stands beside Steele on a handball square in a gym. Stone wears a black suit and Steele a white suit. Lance and Lily stand on either side of them with pom-poms.
Stone says, THE LAST STOP BEFORE THE BIGGIE,
STATIES!
AMAZE WORK TO ALL EIGHT TEAMS
MAKING IT THUS FAR.
Steele says, YEAH, BUT ONLY TWO TEAMS CAN
MAKE IT THROUGH TO THE FINAL
TOURNAMENT, WHERE WE'LL FIND THE
GREATEST IN THE STATEST.
Bao says, LESS TALKING, SIRS.
OLD SCHOOL TIME TODAY.
MY WHISTLE'S FINAL.
Bao blows a kazoo.
Stone says, OKAY, SO THE MORNING SESH
WILL SEE ALL EIGHT TEAMS BATTLE
IT OUT IN A FIRST TO FIVE.
WINNER MUST WIN BY TWO.
Viktor and Prisha briefly make eye contact.
Stone adds, LOSERS ARE OUT.
AFTER THAT, THERE WILL BE FOUR.
Steele says, TEAMS, THAT IS, AND THEY'LL
PLAY IN THE AFTERNOON SESH.
THE TWO WINNERS BOOK A TICKET
TO STATIES.
Mikey and Salwa smile.
Steele says, ROUND ONE, TWO MINS, OKAY?
Bao blows his kazoo.
(Applause)
Tiffany and Ivanka compete in a game against a team that wears green shirts.
(Kazoo)
(Applause)
(Cheering)
A scoreboard reads, Regional Handball Finals, Team Volkov and Team Boomshaka. Each teams are zeros. Team Volkov’s changes to 1. Tiffany and Ivanka nod at each other. They compete in another round with Team Boomshaka. Their score rapidly increases to 5 points. Team Boomshaka walks off the square. The board tracking the competition has Team Boomshaka crossed out and Team Volkov in the semi-finals position. Team Boomshaka frowns.
A person says, WE NEED TO PUT THEM UNDER
MORE PRESSURE.
Viktor walks with Tiffany and Ivanka.
He adds, OUR NEXT OPPONENT MAY NOT PLAY
LIKE A BABY BABOON.
Tiffany says, HEY VIK, WE WON.
The Volkov twins turn suddenly to face Tiffany. They cross their arms.
Viktor says, WE WON'T NEXT TIME IF YOU
PLAY LIKE A BABY BABOON.
Tiffany says, TAKE A CHILL PILL, BILL.
Ivanka says, IT'S VIKTOR.
WE CHILL, WE LOSE.
Tiffany sighs.
She says, UGH, GONNA GET SOME FRESH.
BE BACK IN A MO', KAY?
Tiffany turns and starts to walk away.
She says to herself, "SURE, TIFF.
"NICE WORK IN THE GAME.
"THANKS, V'S, YOU ROCK."
The twins glance at each other. They watch Tiffany leave. Mikey sits in a chair as he pulls on a shoe in the space sectioned off for Team Mahaki. Salwa leans against a bar on the fencing separating their team from the next.
She asks, OI, YOU SWEET?
Mikey says, YEAH, I'M SWEETER THAN THAT
BRO THAT WENT TO THE CHOCOLATE
FACTORY.
Salwa says, YOUR BRAIN'S CHOCOLATE, BRO.
Mikey asks, WHY?
Salwa says, YOU GOT YOUR SHOES BACK TO
FRONT.
Mikey’s shoes are on the wrong feet.
He says, OH, UH, I'M AMBI-SHOE-STROUS.
Salwa asks, WHAT?
Mikey says, NEVER MIND, JUST EXCITED.
A clock reads, 10:30. Beside, text reads, Chronos, official timekeeper of the Statewide Handball Championships.
Mikey says, ONE HOUR TO GO.
A QUICK GAME'S A GOOD GAME, EH?
Prisha says, OKAY, GANG, IT'S GAME TIME.
An audience sitting on bleachers applauds.
Lance and Lily cheer, WE'RE TEAM MAHAKI, YO!
They shake pom-poms. A team of a girl with two braids and a boy with short hair wears tie-dye shirts and hats. They stretch. They play against Mikey and Salwa. Salwa spins and hits the ball back to the other team. The ball bounces and rolls off the square. Bao blows his kazoo.
(Applause)
(Cheering)
The scoreboard changes Team Mahaki’s 3 points to 4 while Team Chilltown remains with 0.
Salwa says, WE GOT THIS, BRO.
Bao says, MATCH POINT.
MAHAKI TEAM.
The timekeeper clock reads, 10:50.
Mikey comments, LOVE IT WHEN THINGS GO TO
PLAN.
Team Chilltown rips the sleeves off their t-shirts. Mikey looks uneasy. He takes a step back. The Chilltown player with short hair beats his chest. Salwa’s eyes widen.
The boy serves to Salwa and she misses.
(Kazoo)
The Chilltown teammates high-five. Bao blows his kazoo. The game continues. Team Chilltown’s points on the scoreboard increase to 4.
Bao says, TIE BREAK.
MUST WIN BY TWO.
Salwa serves. The boy on Team Chilltown returns the ball and Mikey hits it back. Team Mahaki gains a point making the score 5-4. Lily and Lance cheer. The game continues and Team Chilltown gains a point. The scoreboard reads, 5-5. Outside, Auntie pulls up in a blue car. She looks around.
She says, HURRY UP, BOY.
In the gym, Mikey serves. The ball returns and he hits it back.
Mikey says, YES!
Bao blows his kazoo.
(Applause)
(Cheering)
The scoreboard changes to Team Mahaki 6, Team Chilltown 5. Mikey serves but misses the return.
He says, WHAT?
The points on the scoreboard increase rapidly. It stops when Team Mahaki as 44 points and Team Chilltown has 43. The time reads, 11:29. Mikey looks at the time and drops his head.
Bao says, MATCH POINT, MAHAKI TEAM.
In the car, Auntie asks, WHERE ARE YOU, BOY?
Salwa says, THIS TIME WE TOTALLY GOT
THEM, BRO.
Mikey says, YEAH.
Prisha says, STAY WITH IT, GANG.
Lance says, WE…
Lily says, WE'RE TEAM MAHAKI.
Lance says, …WE’RE TEAM MAHAKI.
Mikey serves. The game continues with all players looking tired. Mikey returns the ball and Team Chilltown fails to hit it back.
(Kazoo)
Salwa says, WE WON!
Mikey lets out a sigh of relief.
(Applause)
(Cheering)
The board tracking the competition has Team Chilltown crossed out and Team Mahaki in the lead. Salwa and Mikey high five. Mikey drops to the floor. In Auntie’s car, the time reads, 11:40.
(Honking)
Auntie calls, HURRY UP, BOY!
She leans back in her seat and says, GEEZ!
In the gym, Team Mahaki stands in their team’s space.
Prisha says, GOOD NEWS, GANG.
WE'VE GOT TIME TO REST BEFORE
THE AFTERNOON MATCH.
GOTTA RECOVER.
Mikey turns to the clock which reads, 11:41.
Mikey says, ON THAT, DADDY HAS A SPECIAL
DRINK AT HOME AND IT HAS
ELECTRICITY IN IT.
Salwa says, SICK, I'LL TAKE 10.
Prisha asks, SO WHAT, IT'S LIKE A SPORTS
DRINK?
Mikey says, YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.
Prisha says, GREAT, I'LL GO GRAB SOME.
Mikey says, UH, NO, YOU SEE, DADDY USES
THE ONE THAT THE BULLFROGS USE.
I SHOULD GO HOME AND GET THE
SPECIAL ONE, EH?
Salwa says, PRISHA CAN GRAB IT FOR YOU.
Mikey explains, AUNTIE HATES VISITORS.
I'LL GO.
Prisha says, YOU NEED TO REST.
Mikey says, WE'VE GOT HEAPS OF TIME.
I'LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN
SAY "UNICORN POOP."
Prisha and Salwa say, UNICORN POOP.
Mikey takes off. He rushes outside with his bag and sweater. Tiffany sits outside. Mikey shoves his sweater in his bag.
Tiffany asks, WHERE YOU HEADED?
Mikey says, NOWHERE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Tiffany says, JUST HANGING.
Mikey asks, WITH WHO?
Tiffany says, ME, MYSELF AND I.
SAY HI, EVERYBODY.
Mikey says, I'M, I'M CONFUSED.
BETTER GO GET A MAGICAL DRINK
FROM DADDY.
Tiffany says, CHANGE OF CLOTHES, HUH?
Mikey says, I'M A SWEATER.
Tiffany says, LOOKS LIKE THE KIND OF OUTFIT
THAT YOU'D WEAR TO AN INTERVIEW.
AT A SCHOOL THAT YOU –
Mikey cuts Tiffany off.
He says, OKAY, FINE.
Tiffany says, LIFE'D BE SIMPLER IF YOU JUST
TOLD YOUR PACT BROS, BRO.
Mikey says, I WILL.
IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, WHICH IT
HASN'T, SO ...
Tiffany says, THIS SNEAKING AROUND BIZZO
DOESN'T SUIT YOU, 'KAY?
Mikey says, I KNOW, BUT I'M DEALING WITH
IT IN MY OWN WAY.
YOU'RE STILL A PACT BRO, BRO.
SPEAKING OF, GOT A PRETTY
MESSED UP VIDEO FROM JERRY.
THE VOLKOVS, THEY'RE BAD EGGS,
BRO.
Tiffany says, TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T
KNOW.
Mikey says, I'M JUST SAYING, WATCH YOUR
BACK, BRO.
AND I'M ONLY TELLING YOU BECAUSE
YOU'RE STILL A PACT BRO TO ME,
BRO.
Tiffany says, BETTER GET TO BUTTERFIELD.
Mikey says, ABOUT THAT, PLEASE DON'T TELL
ANYONE.
Tiffany just looks at Mikey. Mikey runs off. Tiffany watches him run down a path. He reaches Auntie’s car, tosses his bag in and climbs in.
Auntie says, GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN
SIT IN A CAR AND SLEEP, BOY.
Mikey says, I KNOW.
Auntie says, GOT LOTS ON MY PLATE, BUSY
DAY.
Mikey says, I KNOW, I'M SORRY, EH.
Auntie says, YOU'RE NOT EVEN DRESSED, BOY.
Mikey says, OH, YEAH.
PRIVACY, PLEASE.
Auntie blocks her eyes. The car wobbles. In a new outfit, Mikey adjusts his collar.
He says, DONE.
Auntie looks over Mikey’s outfit.
She says, TOOK YOUR TIME.
Auntie drives off.
She says, ALL THIS RUNNING AROUND BEHIND
PEOPLE'S BACKS IS DISHONEST,
BOY.
Mikey says, I KNOW.
Auntie says, DISHONEST AS.
WHEN THE OIL LIGHT FLASHES UP ON
YOUR CAR AND YOU KEEP DRIVING,
MAYBE NOT AFTER ONE WEEK, OR ONE
MONTH, BUT EVENTUALLY THE CAR'S
ENGINE WILL EXPLODE WHEN YOU'RE
OUT BUYING CHICKEN WRAPS.
AND THEN YOUR CHICKEN WRAPS WILL
GO COLD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL
WITH BUSTED ENGINES.
AND NOBODY LIKES COLD CHICKEN
WRAPS OR BUSTED ENGINES.
Mikey says, I'LL DEAL WITH IT, AUNTIE.
PS, COLD CHICKEN WRAPS ARE SKUX.
BUT I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU'RE
COMING FROM, SORT OF.
At the competition, Steele and Stone stand beside each other.
Steele says, BIT OF A BOOKING ISH.
THE LOCAL AIR GUITAR SOCIETY
HAS THE SPACE BOOKED FROM TWO.
Stone adds, PM.
Steele says, TODAY.
Stone says, NOT FOUR.
LIKE WE THOUGHT.
Steele says, I TRIED TO NEGOTIATE BUT I
CHICKENED OUT.
TBH, THEY LOOK LETHAL.
A woman wearing a leather jacket plays an air guitar. Her hair blows with wind. She stands with two other people with their arms crossed.
(Electric guitar solo)
Stone says, BUT IT'S COOLIO, IT'S COOLIO.
WE'LL JUST ADAPT.
Steele nods.
He says, AND BY ADAPT, WE MEAN PUSH
ALL GAMES FORWARD BY AN HOUR.
STARTING NOW.
Prisha says, UH, JAYDEN, BEV?
One of the men says YEAH?
Prisha says, MY TEAM'S RECOVERING.
Steele and Stone look over to the air guitar society members, who shrug.
Stone says, PRISH, UNFORTCH, THAT'S THE
WAY THE COOK CRUMBS.
Steele says, NOW IT'S TEAM MAHAKI VERSUS
TEAM CREED.
Auntie stops the car at home.
Mikey asks, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
Auntie says, PICKING UP DADDY.
Mikey says, DADDY'S AT THE GYM.
Auntie says, DADDY'S AT THE GYM.
Mikey says, DADDY... DADDY'S AT THE GYM!
Auntie says, MY BAD.
The cars time reads, 11:50.
Auntie says, NO TIME FOR THE GYM, BOY,
UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE LATE.
Mikey says, I NEED DADDY, UNLESS YOU WANT
TO BE MY MORAL SUPPORT.
Auntie nods.
She says, THE GYM IT IS.
Auntie starts the car and backs up. At the competition, Salwa holds her phone. She looks nervous. Bao joins her.
Bao asks, YOU READY FOR GAME TIME?
Salwa says, YEAH BRO, JUST NEED A MINUTE.
Bao says, OKAY, BE QUICK.
He leaves.
Salwa says, YEAH.
COME ON MIKEY, ANSWER.
(Ringing)
Mikey’s phone rings. He ignores it. Daddy climbs in the back seat.
He asks, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Auntie stammers.
Daddy asks, WHAT?
Mikey says, DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE GONNA BE HEAPS LATE.
LET'S GO, AUNTIE.
Auntie drives. Mikey looks nervous.
At the competition, Salwa holds her phone to her ear as it rings, then lowers it.
Lance asks, HOW DID I KNOW THERE
WOULD BE CONSEQUENCES FOR MY
ACTIONS?
Lily and Lance walk up to Salwa.
Salwa says, HEY, HEY, HEY.
OI, L'S, I'M IN A JAM.
Lile says, YUM.
Salwa says, NO, THE TYPE OF JAM WHERE
MIKEY'S MISSING FROM THE
HANDBALL SANDWICH.
Lile says, I LOVE JAM.
Salwa asks, DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT JAM.
Lily says, BUT YOU SAID…
Lance says, YOU KNOW, I'M MORE OF A
STRAWBERRY KIND OF GUY.
Salwa says, GUYS, FORGET ABOUT THE JAM.
MIKEY'S NOT HERE TO PLAY.
Lance says, AND YOU WANT ME TO TAKE HIS
PLACE?
Salwa says, NO, PLEASE, NO WAY.
BUT, UM, YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE
SICK, BUY ME SOME TIME.
Lance says, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT
PEOPLE FOR TIME WASTING!
Lily and Lance run out to the gym wile shaking their pom-poms.
Salwa says, YEAH, I REALISE.
In the car, Mikey says, WE SHOULD BE THERE BY NOW,
AUNTIE.
CAN'T WE GO ANY FASTER?
Auntie says, DO YOU WANT A SPEEDING
TICKET, BOY?
In the gym, a boom box is placed on the floor. Lance puts on sunglasses and starts dancing.
(Funky music plays)
Lily and Lance dance on the competition square. Lily also wears sunglasses. The members of the air guitar society nod their heads to the music. Prisha holds her phone.
She listens to Mikey say, HEY, YOU'VE CALLED MIKEY.
LEAVE A MESSAGE.
Prisha hangs up. Salwa watches Lance and Lily dance.
In the car, Daddy says, BOY, WE'LL GET THERE WHEN WE
GET THERE, EH?
JUST BREATHE.
In the gym, the members of the air guitar society join Lance and Lily in their dance. Lance plays an air guitar. The audience nods their head to the music. Prisha joins Salwa.
Prisha asks, SAL, YOU TRIED CALLING MIKEY?
Salwa says, ONLY 17 TIMES AND I EVEN
CALLED JERRY AND TOLD HIM TO
CALL MIKEY.
In the car, Mikey looks nervous. In the gym, Lance rocks out.
(Applause)
Bao blows his kazoo.
He says, WASTING STOPS NOW.
MAHAKI TEAM VERSUS CREED TEAM,
NOW O'CLOCK.
The members of Team Volkov turn to Salwa and Prisha. Salwa fakes a groan. She leans on Prisha and grabs her ankle.
Bao asks, WHAT'S WRONG?
Salwa says, OH, IT'S MY, UM, MY FASCIA
ANKLE DELTOIDITIS.
Tiffany says, PRETTY SURE THAT'S NOT A
THING.
Salwa says, ARE YOU A DOCTOR?
Tiffany says, NO.
Salwa says, SO CAN IT, CANNY.
Bao asks, WHAT'S WRONG, SALLY?
Salwa says, IT'S A RARE ANKLE THING, BRO,
AND IT'S FLARED UP.
Bao asks, YOU FORFEIT GAME TIME?
Salwa says, I JUST NEED 10 MINUTES TO ICE
IT.
MAKE IT 20.
Bao says, HMM.
Salwa groans.
Bao says, OKAY, WE PLAY NEXT GAME NOW,
BUT IF YOUR ANKLE ISN'T HAPPY
IN 20, YOU LOSE TIME.
VOLKOV, BING BONG, PLAY TIME!
Bao blows his kazoo. Team Volkov turn to the gym.
Prisha asks, IS THAT FASCIA THING REAL?
Salwa says, NO, BUT I BOUGHT US SOME
TIME.
Prisha says, I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT
THIS.
Salwa asks, DO YOU HAVE A BETTER PLAN,
PRISHA?
Auntie drives up to Butterfield. Daddy and Mikey open their doors.
Auntie says, says, EH, BOY, YOU'RE IN FIFTH GEAR
RIGHT NOW.
MAKE SURE YOU DROP BACK INTO
THIRD.
Mikey says, I'M NOT A CAR, AUNTIE.
Auntie says, IT'S A META-THING.
IT MEANS "CHILL."
Mikey says, CHOICE, I GOTTA GO, EH.
Mikey and Daddy jump out of the car. They run inside as Auntie drives away. They run up a staircase. They peak up and over a railing only to find multiple levels of stairs. They groan. They run up the stairs and down a hall. When they spot Ms. Blapper in a mezzanine they catch their breath, and jog to her.
Ms. Blapper says, YOU'RE RATHER LATE.
Mikey says, SORRY, MS.
Ms. Blapper says, OH, AND YOUR FATHER'S HERE.
Mikey says, YEAH, DADDY, MORAL SUPPORT.
SWEET?
Ms. Blapper says, YES, I'VE HEARD ALL ABOUT YOU
FROM MY SISTER.
Daddy says, OH, MS. C IS ONE CRAZY FOOTY
FAN.
Ms. Blapper says, THAT SHE IS.
NOW, THE BOARD IS WAITING.
SHALL WE?
Daddy asks, GIVE US A SEC, PLEASE, MS.?
Ms. Blapper says, OF COURSE.
BUT PLEASE BE QUICK.
Ms. Blapper heads indoors.
Mikey says, DADDY, I'M SWEATING, MY LIPS
ARE DRY AND I'M…
Daddy cuts Mikey off.
He says, NERVES ARE GOOD, BOY.
IT MEANS YOU CARE.
REMEMBER WHAT AUNTIE SAID ABOUT
GEARS?
Mikey says, YEAH, WHAT GEAR SHOULD I BE
IN?
Daddy says, THREE'S SWEET, JUST BREATHE.
Mikey takes a deep breath.
Daddy says, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,
I THINK YOU'RE SKUX.
NOW GO SHOW THEM THE MAN YOU
ARE, BOY.
Daddy hugs Mikey and they head inside. They take seats facing Ms. Blapper, who is seated between two men and two women on either side of her.
Ms. Blapper says, LET'S BEGIN.
The board open folders. Back at the competition, Salwa holds an ice pack. The scoreboard reads, Team Volkov 5, Team Bing Bong 0. The board tracking the competition crosses out Team Bing Bong, leaving Team Volkov in the finals. Tiffany pops a small confetti cannon.
Salwa calls, LUCKY, BRO.
Ivanka says, LIKE I WAS LUCKY AT STARCADE
FIVE BILLION?
Salwa whispers, LUCKY.
Mikey says, SO, YEAH…
He sits beside Daddy at Butterfield.
He adds, …I THINK I FIT THE
CRITERIA FOR THE CURRIED EGG
BUTTERFIELD SCHOLARSHIP.
Ms. Blapper says, COVETED BUTTERFIELD
SCHOLARSHIP.
Mikey says, OH, I KNEW THAT.
I WAS JUST TESTING YOU, EH.
AND LUCKY FOR YOU, YOU PASSED.
Ms. Blapper says, YOUR ACADEMIC AND SPORTING
PROWESS IS CLEAR.
HOWEVER, BUTTERFIELD IS MUCH
MORE THAN THAT.
Mikey says, I GET THAT, IT'S LIKE A WAY
OF LIFE, EH?
Ms. Blapper says, EXACTLY.
Mikey says, AND I'M KEEN TO BE A PART OF
THAT WAY OF LIFE.
Salwa says, PHONES ARE FOR
PICKING UP, BRO.
Salwa sits in a chair in the gym at the competition.
Bao says, TIME UP TIME.
Salwa asks, ALREADY?
Bao says, TRUTH TIME.
Salwa says, BUT MY FASCIA ANKLE
DELTOIDITIS.
Bao says, FASCIA BLANKLE DINKLE WINKLE.
FALSE.
Salwa says, BUT MY DOCTOR SAID THAT MY
FASCIA ANKLE DELTOIDITIS WAS
FULLY FULL ON.
Bao says, BASCIA KASHIA NINKLE SPRINKLE
NOT REAL!
I LOOKED IT UP.
NO STALLING TIME NOW.
Tiffany says, YEAH, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO
AND FIND MIKEY FOR YOU?
I'M SURE HE'S AROUND HERE
SOMEWHERE, RIGHT?
Salwa says, NO, NO, NO, IT'S OKAY.
I'LL GET HIM.
Salwa looks behind her.
She calls, UM, PRISHA?
PRISHA!
Prisha says, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
Prisha stands behind everyone. They turn suddenly. Prisha retracts a measuring tape.
She says, THIS COURT'S NOT REGULATION
SIZE.
Stone, Steele, Lily, Lance, Tiffany, Bao, Viktor, Ivanka and Salwa all gasp dramatically.
Ms. Blapper says, MIKEY, BUTTERFIELD'S WAY OF
LIFE IS FIDE VERITATIS.
Mikey asks, WHO'S THAT?
Ms. Blapper says, NO, IT'S OUR MOTTO.
Mikey says, OH, UH, YEAH.
TRUTH AND LOYALTY, EH?
Ms. Blapper says, EXACTLY, IMPRESSIVE.
TRUTH AND LOYALTY ARE
BUTTERFIELD'S BEDROCK.
Mikey says, OKAY.
Ms. Blapper says, FOR US TO OFFER YOU THIS
SCHOLARSHIP, WE NEED TO BE A
PERFECT FIT.
Mikey says, OH, NO ROUND PEGS IN SQUARE
HOLES HERE.
Ms. Blapper says, MIKEY, WE TAKE THIS VERY
SERIOUSLY.
WE ARE UNITED IN OUR QUEST FOR
TRUTH AND LOYALTY.
ARE WE A GOOD FIT?
Mikey says, UM ...
Ms. Blapper asks, MIKEY.
She and the rest of the board lean forward with their hands crossed.
Ms. Blapper asks, ARE YOU FIDE VERITATIS?
Daddy says, HE'S THE MOST FIDE VERITATIS
BOY YOU'LL EVER MEET, EH.
Mikey says, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF I'M BEING FIDO EGG FRITTATAS,
THEN I'M NOT A GOOD FIT.
I'VE BEEN LYING TO MY BROS ABOUT
THIS FOR WEEKS, AND WE MADE A
PACT THAT I'D BE BREAKING IF I
CAME HERE, AND I JUST KEPT LYING
ABOUT IT.
DADDY SAID, "SHOW YOU THE MAN
I AM."
SO YEAH, I'M NOT FIBRO
ENCHILADAS.
I'M WHATEVER THE LATIN IS FOR
NOT THAT.
Ms. Blapper looks thoughtful. At the competition, Prisha and Viktor retract their measuring tapes from the handball square.
Prisha asks, ANYTHING?
Salwa says, NAH, HE'S NOT BACK YET.
Prisha stands beside Salwa.
Salwa says, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T ALL RIGHT
WITH STALLING?
Prisha says, NO, SERIOUSLY THE COURT'S
HALF A CENTIMETRE TOO SMALL.
Salwa asks, DOES IT EVEN MATTER?
Prisha says, RULES ARE RULES.
PLUS IT BUYS US TIME, WIN-WIN.
Prisha turns to face Team Volkov.
She says, RULES STATE THAT THE COURT IS
SUPPOSED TO BE 200 CENTIMETRES.
I'VE GOT 199.5.
Tiffany groans.
She says, OH, ENOUGH OKAY.
JUST GET ON WITH THE GAME.
YOU'RE OBVI STALLING.
(Dramatic music plays)
Stone gasps. He looks around at the others by the square.
He says, SORRY, I THOUGHT WE WERE
DOING THE "GASP" THING AGAIN.
Steele asks, ARE YOU GUYS STALLING?
BECAUSE IF SO, THAT'S NOT OKAY,
OKAY.
THOSE AIR GUITAR KIDS ARE
LETHAL.
Everyone turns to the members of the air guitar society. They play air guitars as electric guitar music plays.
Prisha says, I'M NOT STALLING.
I'VE LEGIT GOT 199.5.
Viktor says, I GOT 200.2, BUT YOU'RE
SPLITTING HAIRS.
WHO CARES?
Prisha says, THE RULES CARE.
Viktor says, RULES CAN BE BENT.
Prisha says, NO, MR. BENDY, RULES ARE
RULES.
RIGHT BAO?
Bao says, MEASURING TAPE ARE LIKE
DIFFERENT KOI.
SOME A LITTLE BIG, SOME ARE
SMALL.
LET'S JUST PLAY TIME.
Prisha says, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE THE REF, YOUR RULES.
Bao says, IF MAHAKI TEAM NOT READY TO
PLAY TIME BY THE TIME I FINISH
THIS SENTENCE, MAHAKI TEAM
FORFEIT…
Bao is cut off by Mikey rushing into the gym through a side door.
Bao says, LUCKY DAY TIME.
MAHAKI TEAM, CREED TEAM,
GAME ON.
Bao blows his kazoo. Mikey drops his bag in a chair.
Prisha asks, WHERE'S THE SPORTS DRINKS?
Mikey says, DADDY DRANK THEM ALL.
Salwa says, YOU NEARLY GOT US KICKED OUT.
Mikey says, BUT I DIDN'T, DID I?
Salwa asks, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
Mikey says, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS,
ALL RIGHT.
WE HAVE A GAME TO WIN.
Salwa and Prisha says, BUT…
Mikey says, IT'S JUST I REALLY WANTED
THAT ELECTRIC DRINK BUT ALL I
GOT WAS FIDO'S ENCHILADAS AND
YOU GUYS ARE ALL UP IN MY FACE
WHEN ALL I WANT IS A CUDDLE.
BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M A SQUARE
PEG IN A ROUND HOLE, AND NOW WE
HAVE TO PLAY BALL.
A crowd cheers and applauds. Bao stands at the hardball square. Mikey and Salwa join players wearing yellow shirts on the square. The player with curly hair cracks his knuckles.
(Kazoo)
Mikey serves. The ball bounces past the player with short hair.
(Kazoo)
The scoreboard counts 1 point for Team Mahaki, 0 for Team Creed. Mikey plays very aggressively. Salwa looks confused as she watches Mikey increase their score to 5. Mikey grunts as he plays.
(Applause)
(Cheering)
(Kazoo)
Salwa says, WE WON!
YES, GOOD JOB!
Salwa and Mikey high five with both hands. Team Creed looks disappointed. A card that reads, Team Mahaki is placed beside the card that reads Team Volkov on the competition board. Prisha stands with Salwa and Mikey.
Prisha says, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU PLAY LIKE
THAT.
Salwa says, YEAH, BRO, YOU, YOU WERE ON
FIRE.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
Mikey says, I GUESS I DID IT FOR YOU
BROS.
THIS IS WHERE I'M MEANT TO BE,
EH?
Salwa says, DUH, WHERE ELSE?
The team shares a group high-five. Stone and Steele stand holding a small trophy each.
Steele says, NEXT STOP?
Stone and Steele hand their trophies to the players on either side of them. Stone hands his to Team Volkovand Steele to Team Mahaki.
Stone and Steele say, STATIES!
(Applause)
(Cheering)
Viktor reluctantly claps while he glares. Bao smiles. The celebrations suddenly stop and everyone looks to the left where the air guitar society members play air guitars while electric air guitar music plays.
Stone says, TIME TO GO.
The gymnasium clears. Mikey catches up with Tiffany on their way out.
He says, DIDN'T SPILL THE BEANS, HUH?
Tiffany says, NO POINT, OKAY.
BE GOOD TO HAVE A CHALLENGE
AT STATIES.
Mikey says, NO OTHER REASON, LIKE
SECRETLY A PACT BRO, BRO?
Tiffany says, KEEP DREAMING.
LONE WOLF, OKAY.
Mikey says, MY PACT-DAR'S PRETTY CHOICE,
EH, BRO.
Tiffany says, YEAH, YOUR PACT-DAR NEEDS A
TUNE UP, OKAY.
PS, HOW'D YOUR NOT-SO-SECRET
SECRET INTERVIEW GO?
Mikey says, OH, I STUFFED IT, EH, BRO.
Tiffany says, OUCH, YOU'LL BE STICKING
AROUND A BIT LONGER, HUH?
Tiffany pauses and faces Mikey.
Mikey says, YEP, LIKE SHAKES TO YOUR
DADS' FACES.
PS, THEIR WEDDING'S GOING TO BE
SWEET AS.
Mikey nods. He walks past Tiffany, who smiles. A plate of hotdogs and slices of bread is placed on a table. Water is poured into cups. Toppings are added to hot dogs on slices of bread and the food disappears. Hands grab at the last hot dog on the plate. Mikey sits between Salwa and Prisha back at home. He holds his stomach.
Mikey says, SWEET VICTORY SNAGS, AUNTIE.
Auntie asks, FINISHED?
Mikey and Salwa say, YEP.
Auntie says, GOOD, FOLLOW ME.
Auntie gets up from the table.
Salwa says, FOLLOW HER.
The others get up from the table. Auntie walks outside.
Salwa says, OKAY, GO.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO,
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
Mikey says, AUNTIE!
Salwa says, AUNTIE, WAIT UP.
Prisha says, AUNTIE!
Mikey says, TOO FAST.
Prisha, Mikey, Salwa and Daddy follow Auntie. Auntie stops.
She says, SHUT YOUR EYES.
Daddy and Auntie turn the friends and guide them forward.
Mikey asks, YOU THERE, SALWA?
IS THAT YOU?
Auntie says, SHH.
OPEN.
The friends open their eyes and Auntie presses a button. Lights above a hang out spot made from a shipping container light up. They read, Mahaki land.
Auntie says, MAHAKI LAND.
Mikey, Salwa and Prisha say, WOW!
Daddy grins and grabs Auntie’s shoulder.
Mikey asks, THIS, THIS IS WHAT'S BEEN ON
YOUR PLATE?
Auntie says, YEAH, BOY.
Prisha says, AUNTIE, WOW THIS IS...
Salwa says, …FULLY SICK!
Auntie says, IT'S NO BIG DEAL, JUST GOT IT
ALL FROM COUNCIL CLEAN UP.
Prisha says, I WISH JERRY WAS HERE.
Auntie asks, WHY, NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
Prisha says, NO, NO, NO…
Auntie says, AH-AH-AH, JUST JOKING!
LET'S GO!
Auntie pushes her way through, leading the way to Mahaki land.
Daddy says, COME ON!
Auntie says, A PLACE FOR FRIENDS
TO BE FRIENDS ALL THE TIME AND
STUFF.
Salwa, Prisha and Mikey explore their new space.
They say, WHOA!
Salwa says, WOW!
Prisha says, WHOA!
The space is decorated with pictures and other memories of the friends. The friends look around. They look amazed. They turn.
Mikey says, WHOA.
Salwa says, WOW!
On the other side of the space is a comfortable sitting area filled with pillows. Auntie turns and points a remote. Jerry appears on a screen.
He says, GREETINGS FROM ALL THE WAY IN
W.A.
Mikey says, JERRY, BRO, WHAT'S UP?
Salwa and Prisha say, HEY, JERRY, WHAT'S UP?
Jerry says, WELL DONE TODAY, TEAM.
I MUST SAY, AUNTIE MAHAKI,
THIS PLACE LOOKS AMAZING.
EVEN WITH MY DIAL-UP INTERNET
CONNECTION.
Mikey says, AMAZE AS.
Mikey looks at another part of the space.
He asks, WHAT'S THAT?
Daddy says, A TELESCOPE, BOY.
CHECK IT OUT.
Mikey looks in the telescope where four stars shine brightly together.
Jerry asks, WHAT DO YOU SEE, MAHAKI?
Mikey says, JUST SEE, UM,
A BUNCH OF STARS.
Daddy says, NOT JUST ANY STARS, BOY.
YOU SEE THOSE FOUR IN A LINE?
Mikey says, YEAH.
Daddy holds a picture frame.
He says, MIKEY THE BRAVE, PRISHA THE
RIGHTEOUS, JERRY THE BRIGHT,
AND SALWA THE SICK-AS.
AKA "THE MAHAKI CLUSTER."
Salwa holds the frame.
Says, YOU, YOU BOUGHT US STARS?
Daddy says, YEAH, MY BOY LIKES STARS.
Daddy and the friends hug.
The friends hug around Jerry on his video call.
Daddy says, THESE STARS WILL BE TOGETHER
FOREVER, LIKE TEAM MAHAKI.
Auntie smiles. A phone rings. Daddy and Auntie make their way out.
Daddy says, AH, ENJOY YOURSELF, KIDS.
Jerry says, WELL, I DON'T THINK THERE'S
ANY STRONGER PACT BROS THAN US.
Prisha says, YOU SAID IT, JERRY.
Mikey says, PACT BROS TO THE MAX.
Salwa says, YEAH, I MEAN WE HAVE OUR OWN
CLUB HOUSE.
Mikey says, A SICK AS HANDSHAKE.
The friends share a group high-five then pose.
Jerry says, A VIRTUAL HANG OUT.
Prisha says, PLUS OUR OWN STARS.
Mikey says, DOUBLE PLUS, WE CAN HANG OUT
ANY TIME HERE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL
NEXT YEAR.
Jerry says, VERY COOL INDEED, BUT I DO
MISS MY BROS.
IT'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU.
Mikey says, US TOO, BRO, BUT YOU'RE THE
BEE'S KNEES.
SHOULD MAKE SOME W.A. BROS.
Jerry says, WELL, YEAH, BUT...
Mikey says, WE WON'T MIND IF YOU MAKE
MORE BROS, BRO.
Salwa says, YEAH, OF COURSE, BRO.
I MEAN, JUST DON'T FORGET US.
OR ELSE.
Jerry says, POINT TAKEN.
Mikey says, HEY, BROS, UM, I KNOW I'VE
BEEN ACTING STRANGE LATELY.
ADD, UM, I READ SOME LATIN, SO I
NEED TO GET SOMETHING OFF MY
CHEST.
Daddy calls, EH, BOY, PHONE!
Mikey says, I'LL BE BACK.
Mikey leaves the hang out. Prisha looks at Salwa, who shrugs. Mikes takes a phone from Daddy. Daddy squeezes Mikey’s shoulder and leaves. Mikey puts the phone to his ear.
He says, HELLO?
Ms. Blapper says, SORRY FOR THE
LATE CALL.
I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD HEAR IT
FROM ME.
Mikey says, SORRY I WASTED YOUR TIME, MS.
Ms. Blapper says, WASTED MY TIME?
Mikey says, YEAH, I COMPLETELY BOTCHED
THE INTERVIEW.
Ms. Blapper says, FAR FROM IT.
THAT WAS THE MOST HONEST
RESPONSE I'VE EVER SEEN.
Mikey says, SAY WHAT?
Ms. Blapper says, MIKEY, I WOULD OFFICIALLY
LIKE TO OFFER YOU THE
SCHOLARSHIP.
Mikey’s eyes widen. He doesn’t respond.
Ms. Blapper says, MIKEY?
MIKEY, ARE YOU THERE?
Mikey lowers the phone. He looks back at Salwa and Prisha in Mahaki land.
Mikey says, WORST BEST NEWS EVER.
Directed by Guy Edmonds.
Series Producer, Joe Weatherstone.
Executive Producers Catherine Nebauer, Bernadette O’Mahony and Jan Stradling.
Developed with the assistance of and distributed by the Australian Children’s Television Foundation.
NSW, Create NSW, arts, screen and culture. A Northern Pictures Production.
A person sings, HARD BALL, HARD BALL,
HARD BALL, HARD BALL.
Bao dances with a hand.
ABC, developed and produced in association with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.
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