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Transcript: The Top on Robots used in Medicine
Two animated brains move over a line maze. Two chomping halves of an animated pink brain join together. Text on banners over the brain reads, “Hungry Brain!”
[Upbeat music plays]
A voice says, HUNGRY BRAIN!
[Upbeat music plays]
A narrator says, in a robotic voice, EARTHLINGS, BRACE YOURSELF FOR A ROBOT INVASION, STARTING WITH YOUR OPERATING THEATRES.
In an operating theatre, a patient sits open-mouthed.
The narrator says, HERE'S THE TOP ON ROBOTS USED IN THE MEDICAL WORLD.
Episode title: Top. Robots Used in the Medical World.
[Dinging]
The number four appears.
Text reads, “The Da Vinci.”
The narrator says, NUMBER FOUR: THE DA VINCI.
[Dinging]
A drawing shows a robot with four arms.
The narrator says, JUST LIKE THE FAMOUS RENAISSANCE ARTIST, THIS ROBOT HAS FOUR ARTICULATED ARMS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE ONLY HAD TWO.
[Clearing their throat]
The narrator says, WELL, ANYWAY. THE FIRST ARM IS EQUIPPED WITH HI-DEF CAMERAS SO THE SURGEONS CAN OBSERVE EVERY DETAIL DURING SURGERY. AND THE OTHERS HAVE—
[Popping]
Three of the arms have surgical instruments.
The narrator says, as a robot, LITTLE WEAPONS FOR EXTRACTING CONFESSIONS FROM IT'S PUNY HUMAN VICTIMS.
The narrator says, RELAX, I'M KIDDING. THEY'RE ACTUALLY ULTRA PRECISE INSTRUMENTS THAT ARE SO DEXTEROUS, YOU COULD PEEL A GRAPE WITH THEM. FRUIT SALAD ANYONE?
The patient lies on a surgical bed with bunches of grapes on her stomach.
[Dinging]
The number three appears.
Text reads, “The Robot-Patient.”
The narrator says, NUMBER THREE: THE ROBO-PATIENT.
In an animation, a woman stands open-mouthed, and a man lies on the floor.
The narrator says, YIKES! HIS HEART HAS STOPPED! IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?! HELP! CHILLAX, DUMMY. NO, NOT YOU. HIM.
A woman wearing medical scrubs and a stethoscope kneels beside the man on the floor.
The narrator says, THIS "PATIENT" IS A CUNNINGLY DISGUISED ROBO-DUMMY, USED BY SOME MEDICAL SCHOOLS TO HELP TRAIN FUTURE DOCTORS.
A second narrator, imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger, says, I AM UBER-REALISTIC. I HAVE A BEATING CYBORG HEART. I HAVE LUNGS THAT BREATHE. AND I CAN EVEN BLEED. I'LL BE BACK.
[Dinging]
The number two appears.
Text reads, “Nano Robot.”
The narrator says, NUMBER TWO: NANO ROBOT. HONEY, I SHRUNK THE SURGEON. GIVE IT UP FOR THE NANO ROBOT: A ROBOT SO TINY THAT IT CAN SWIM AROUND INSIDE YOUR BODY THROUGH YOUR BLOODSTREAM.
[Whirring]
In animation, a tiny nanorobot moves past blood cells.
The narrator says, THIS LITTLE GUY MAY BE SMALL IN SIZE, BUT IT'S A BIG HELP IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SURGERY ALL TOGETHER BY PINPOINTING WHERE THE PATIENT NEEDS INTERVENTION WITH EXTREME PRECISION. THANKS, LITTLE GUY. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE SOMEDAY.
[Nano robot whirring]
[Dinging]
The number one appears.
Text reads, “The Robo…Medical Student?”
The narrator says, NUMBER ONE: THE ROBO... MEDICAL STUDENT?
[Applause]
Confetti falls around a robot with a screen on its chest.
The narrator says, THE FACULTY WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND ITS HEARTIEST CONGRATULATIONS TO THIS ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT CHINESE ROBOT, WHO HAS PASSED ITS ENTRANCE EXAMS WITH FLYING COLOURS. SO, HOW DID A HUNK OF TIN MAKE IT INTO ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS MEDICAL SCHOOLS IN THE WORLD?
[Chiming]
The screen on the robot shows the numbers “53,” “400,00,” and “1,000,000.”
The narrator says, WELL, A TEAM OF RESEARCHERS HELPED IT CRAM 53 REFERENCE BOOKS, 400,000 MEDICAL REPORTS, AND MORE THAN 1,000,000 PAGES INTO ITS ROBO-CRANIUM. HEY, THAT'S CHEATING! I HAD TO PASS MY EXAMS ON COFFEE AND ADRENALINE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. OH, I SEE. EVEN THOUGH IT PASSED ITS EXAMS AND GOT INTO UNI, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT COPYING YOUR HOMEWORK ANYTIME SOON.
[Applause]
A doctor beside the robot lifts their arms and smiles.
The narrator says, FOR THE TIME BEING, IT'LL ONLY BE USED TO HELP DOCTORS IN DIFFERENT HOSPITALS AROUND THE WORLD. SO, IT'S NOT GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND SLAVE HUMANITY OR ANYTHING? OF COURSE, I KNEW THAT.
[Upbeat music continues]
End Credits. Narration: Helen Moorhouse. Trio Orange. Member of the Association Quebécoise de la Production Mediatique. Copyright 2019. Logo: AQPM.
[Upbeat music plays]
A voice says, HUNGRY BRAIN!
[Upbeat music plays]
A narrator says, in a robotic voice, EARTHLINGS, BRACE YOURSELF FOR A ROBOT INVASION, STARTING WITH YOUR OPERATING THEATRES.
In an operating theatre, a patient sits open-mouthed.
The narrator says, HERE'S THE TOP ON ROBOTS USED IN THE MEDICAL WORLD.
Episode title: Top. Robots Used in the Medical World.
[Dinging]
The number four appears.
Text reads, “The Da Vinci.”
The narrator says, NUMBER FOUR: THE DA VINCI.
[Dinging]
A drawing shows a robot with four arms.
The narrator says, JUST LIKE THE FAMOUS RENAISSANCE ARTIST, THIS ROBOT HAS FOUR ARTICULATED ARMS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE ONLY HAD TWO.
[Clearing their throat]
The narrator says, WELL, ANYWAY. THE FIRST ARM IS EQUIPPED WITH HI-DEF CAMERAS SO THE SURGEONS CAN OBSERVE EVERY DETAIL DURING SURGERY. AND THE OTHERS HAVE—
[Popping]
Three of the arms have surgical instruments.
The narrator says, as a robot, LITTLE WEAPONS FOR EXTRACTING CONFESSIONS FROM IT'S PUNY HUMAN VICTIMS.
The narrator says, RELAX, I'M KIDDING. THEY'RE ACTUALLY ULTRA PRECISE INSTRUMENTS THAT ARE SO DEXTEROUS, YOU COULD PEEL A GRAPE WITH THEM. FRUIT SALAD ANYONE?
The patient lies on a surgical bed with bunches of grapes on her stomach.
[Dinging]
The number three appears.
Text reads, “The Robot-Patient.”
The narrator says, NUMBER THREE: THE ROBO-PATIENT.
In an animation, a woman stands open-mouthed, and a man lies on the floor.
The narrator says, YIKES! HIS HEART HAS STOPPED! IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?! HELP! CHILLAX, DUMMY. NO, NOT YOU. HIM.
A woman wearing medical scrubs and a stethoscope kneels beside the man on the floor.
The narrator says, THIS "PATIENT" IS A CUNNINGLY DISGUISED ROBO-DUMMY, USED BY SOME MEDICAL SCHOOLS TO HELP TRAIN FUTURE DOCTORS.
A second narrator, imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger, says, I AM UBER-REALISTIC. I HAVE A BEATING CYBORG HEART. I HAVE LUNGS THAT BREATHE. AND I CAN EVEN BLEED. I'LL BE BACK.
[Dinging]
The number two appears.
Text reads, “Nano Robot.”
The narrator says, NUMBER TWO: NANO ROBOT. HONEY, I SHRUNK THE SURGEON. GIVE IT UP FOR THE NANO ROBOT: A ROBOT SO TINY THAT IT CAN SWIM AROUND INSIDE YOUR BODY THROUGH YOUR BLOODSTREAM.
[Whirring]
In animation, a tiny nanorobot moves past blood cells.
The narrator says, THIS LITTLE GUY MAY BE SMALL IN SIZE, BUT IT'S A BIG HELP IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SURGERY ALL TOGETHER BY PINPOINTING WHERE THE PATIENT NEEDS INTERVENTION WITH EXTREME PRECISION. THANKS, LITTLE GUY. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE SOMEDAY.
[Nano robot whirring]
[Dinging]
The number one appears.
Text reads, “The Robo…Medical Student?”
The narrator says, NUMBER ONE: THE ROBO... MEDICAL STUDENT?
[Applause]
Confetti falls around a robot with a screen on its chest.
The narrator says, THE FACULTY WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND ITS HEARTIEST CONGRATULATIONS TO THIS ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT CHINESE ROBOT, WHO HAS PASSED ITS ENTRANCE EXAMS WITH FLYING COLOURS. SO, HOW DID A HUNK OF TIN MAKE IT INTO ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS MEDICAL SCHOOLS IN THE WORLD?
[Chiming]
The screen on the robot shows the numbers “53,” “400,00,” and “1,000,000.”
The narrator says, WELL, A TEAM OF RESEARCHERS HELPED IT CRAM 53 REFERENCE BOOKS, 400,000 MEDICAL REPORTS, AND MORE THAN 1,000,000 PAGES INTO ITS ROBO-CRANIUM. HEY, THAT'S CHEATING! I HAD TO PASS MY EXAMS ON COFFEE AND ADRENALINE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. OH, I SEE. EVEN THOUGH IT PASSED ITS EXAMS AND GOT INTO UNI, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT COPYING YOUR HOMEWORK ANYTIME SOON.
[Applause]
A doctor beside the robot lifts their arms and smiles.
The narrator says, FOR THE TIME BEING, IT'LL ONLY BE USED TO HELP DOCTORS IN DIFFERENT HOSPITALS AROUND THE WORLD. SO, IT'S NOT GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND SLAVE HUMANITY OR ANYTHING? OF COURSE, I KNEW THAT.
[Upbeat music continues]
End Credits. Narration: Helen Moorhouse. Trio Orange. Member of the Association Quebécoise de la Production Mediatique. Copyright 2019. Logo: AQPM.
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